Morrowind Vs The War on Drugs

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Now, wait a minute. [00:00:01] Speaker B: Now wait a minute. [00:00:03] Speaker C: You ever feel inadequate? Do you feel small, weak, like there's nothing you can do? Like everything is just happening around you? You're just a passive actor. You're powerless. Do you want to feel like you have power again? Like you could be stronger, faster, sexier, smarter, all of these things? Well, I've got the solution for you. It's called voting. You need to right now. And you will be the person of your dreams tomorrow. Today, one vote every day is all it takes for you to become your actualized, most perfect self. Now, this does have some side effects. We don't have time to get into all of them. There may be drawbacks. Could be addictive. I don't know. It's not my place to say. It's not my place. But here's what I can say, is that it is time to vote. Right now. Let's go. It's the most important, this election, which will be, I do truly believe, the most important election of our lifetime. [00:01:20] Speaker A: This is the most important election of our lifetime. [00:01:23] Speaker C: This is the most important election. Don't you you hear that? [00:01:27] Speaker B: This is the most election in our lifetime. [00:01:31] Speaker C: I certainly think it's the most important election of my lifetime. [00:01:34] Speaker B: This is the most important election of our times. [00:01:38] Speaker D: Politicians say every time, this is the most important election. [00:01:41] Speaker B: This one's really that important. [00:01:44] Speaker A: Vote yellow until it's mellow. [00:01:48] Speaker C: Hello. Until it's mellow. Folks, we got a really exciting episode today. I'm Kennedy Cooper. As always on the panel, we've got my good friends Brandon Buchanan. [00:01:57] Speaker D: Vote black no matter the fact that rhymes. [00:02:03] Speaker C: Great. And we've got our in house statistician, Andrew Fields. Andrew, say hi. [00:02:09] Speaker A: Hello, everybody. As a statistician, let me give you a little advice. People constantly are asking me what to do with outlier data. It's one of the hardest things to do with a statistical analysis. So here's my professional statistician advice. Outlier. Why? I hardly even know her. [00:02:27] Speaker C: God damn it. And we've got a guest today, a guest that I'm so excited to have. Somebody I've been podcasting with for years at this point. Somebody I consider a true friend, not just an Internet person and just a great guy. It's the homie Marcos. What's up? [00:02:45] Speaker B: What's up? Vote for the homie. Come get to know me. You know what I'm saying? [00:02:52] Speaker A: I'm voting for you 20 times and I'm only allowed to do it 17 times. Don't tell them. [00:03:01] Speaker C: For that. [00:03:04] Speaker B: I do have to like, preface this whole. Like, before we get into it, I do have to preface this. So I work for the post Office, right? I work for, like, the U.S. like, actually the USP real American hero. And I, and I have to tell, like, literally every time we do, like, voter stuff on, like, any podcast that I'm on or it's like, government stuff. I always have to start off would be, like, first things first. I love the Hatch Act. All right, That's. I just gotta let everybody know right off, Rip, Just in case anyone's listening. I heavy with the Hatch act, and I do not represent usps. [00:03:35] Speaker C: I, I, I've said it before on record, but I'll say it again. I've. I've never known anybody that loves the Hatch act more than this man. [00:03:46] Speaker D: And of course, if you haven't heard it already today, thank you for your service. [00:03:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I, I hate it. Don't, don't tell me. Thank you for my. Make my job harder, actually. That's what I like. That's why I'm a mailman. [00:03:57] Speaker A: You know what? I'm gonna vote to destroy the post office. [00:04:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Put some, you know what? You know what would really help? If you put some dog shit, like, in your walkway to your mailbox, you know, or like, litter. Litter toys all over the place. That's awesome. [00:04:11] Speaker C: Scatter thumbtacks. [00:04:13] Speaker B: Yeah, that. I love that. We love that. That's what I do. [00:04:19] Speaker D: I should probably add that service is the name of my Rottweiler. [00:04:24] Speaker B: I do legitimately. You do have to be like, no one becomes a mailman or, like, a male, like, a mail carrier because they like the job. It's like, it's. You're a cursed. It's like you're the ashen one from, like, dark souls. You know what I'm saying? Like, you've made enough mistakes in your life, and you can't, you can't rise up. So you now you are cursed to, to roam the land and carry mail. And, like, that's, it's tight, actually. [00:04:47] Speaker C: You're the penitent one. [00:04:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah. That's great. [00:04:53] Speaker C: It's. It's so exciting to have a, A real postal worker here on the show expressing patriotism. [00:05:00] Speaker A: It's time to go postal. [00:05:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:04] Speaker C: More people should go postal, you know? You know that post office. I'm sorry, does that term mean something else? [00:05:13] Speaker B: In the 80s, in the 80s before. So what happened going postal in the 90s is when it happened when people started, like, shooting places and stuff. But in the 80s, there was a brief Campaign to get more people to send things through packages. Because like if you think about it in the 80s, like was the rise of FedEx and like US or UPS and stuff. So like the UPS or USPS finally had competition. So they were. They had. For a brief summer they had a marketing campaign that was encouraging people to go postal. Oh, they're like. Yeah. Which is where you get when people like post after all of the like really all like the high profile like shootings and. And like, like workplace harassment cases. That's where the, the term came from because it was still fresh in people's minds of like people were going postal. So like it's so funny that they invented it. Like they use their own marketing against them out there. [00:06:13] Speaker C: There's like some old like I'm going postal postcards official there. [00:06:19] Speaker B: No, there's like jackets that say it. There's like patches that say like, like let's go postal. It's. It's amazing. There's a ton of like stuff. There's a few. [00:06:29] Speaker C: There's a few carriers warehouse somewhere with a security guard all day. Just like we can't. [00:06:34] Speaker B: They get our. The like our. The opm and like the supervisors get very upset if they see older mail carriers have that merch on them. One of. One of the older mail carriers had that as a pin and like he got in trouble for wearing it. [00:06:52] Speaker A: You know what this reminds me of? [00:06:54] Speaker C: It's an official usps. [00:06:55] Speaker B: Yeah, it's official. [00:06:58] Speaker A: This reminds me. [00:06:59] Speaker C: Sorry, Andrew, go ahead. [00:07:00] Speaker A: This reminds me of that one old Batman comic where Batman makes exposes Joker's massive boner and he spends the entire comic trying to give the Batman a big boner. Embarrassing boner. [00:07:18] Speaker B: The TLE at my boner. Will they. I remember that line. Lives in my head rent free. Like no, no. [00:07:26] Speaker A: Joku's boner. [00:07:28] Speaker B: Yes. [00:07:32] Speaker A: The word boner meant something different back then. [00:07:36] Speaker C: Yeah, it meant vagina. [00:07:39] Speaker A: Yes. [00:07:41] Speaker C: Marcos, you requested today. I don't have a good lead in for this because I'm not familiar with the source topic. I've learned a lot about it in the last couple of days. [00:07:53] Speaker A: You're not of a borrowed mind to come up with one. [00:07:56] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm kind of a less lesso wind. I'm sorry. [00:08:03] Speaker D: Everyone knows the story of you were subscribed to gaming magazines. You were getting a little bit too old for gaming magazines. But it's not like you had a lot of other hobbies. You still had the game and magazines in the cut and your friends at school were talking when this dropped because when the, the promises for this game were so crazy and the, the journalists were treating it with so much credibility that they were like, yeah, this Morrowind thing is coming out. And also it's like, oh, it's ugly. [00:08:36] Speaker B: So it's like, oh, it's hideous. [00:08:38] Speaker D: It's hideous to look at. But if you are an RPG fan, this seems like it's gonna be especially compared to like, what was the previous most immersive RPG before this that was playable on a home console? Like, not the nothing. This was the, this is the real, this is the real deal, big open world experience. [00:09:03] Speaker C: This is when Western RPG started, basically. [00:09:07] Speaker B: Can I explain, can I explain how Morrowind came into my life? Because it's kind of a crazy circumstance. Yeah. [00:09:14] Speaker C: So, like, I just have to say really quickly, I love how Brandon addressed our audience knowing that no Gen Z people would ever listen to this show. [00:09:25] Speaker B: That's not true. [00:09:26] Speaker C: The idea, the idea of edgy PBS has no sway on the youth. [00:09:31] Speaker B: On my, on my, on my podcast wants to vote. I've got a bunch of zoomers interested in playing Oblivion or not. Not Oblivion. Morrowind purely from. Because I'm like, if you want to understand like the, the true mysteries of life, like the chiral vectors, like understanding the deep, the deep well of knowledge that is my psychotic brain, you have to play Morrowind. And like, they play it and then they DM me like, I get it now. I understand you now. So, like, it' But Morrowind entered my life. [00:10:05] Speaker C: I have diagnosable conditions now. [00:10:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes, you do. I, I, I legitimately believe so. Like, came to me when I was like 15, 16. At that time in my life, I was legitimately experiencing like the, the onset of schizophrenia. Like actual diagnosable schizophrenia. Like, I was. Yeah, I was, I was experiencing that. [00:10:29] Speaker C: Aspect of the homies. This exists. [00:10:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I was experiencing this. And my friend who all he does like, this is not helping either because I used to go to his house and we would just smoke insane amount of weed. His mom had like the medical card and she like, I'll take a little a weed brownie, but she just had like so much weed. So we would just smoke the rest of it anyways. We would like get crazy suited. And he had every, he was like, he was one of those GameStop kids that like, would go once a week to buy a game from GameStop because he had like infinite money glitch. You know what I'm saying? So he would like go and he bought. Yeah, he bought, he bought Morrowind because he thought the Artwork was cool. He's like, it looks like a book, dude. And I was like, okay, cool. And so he brought back. [00:11:16] Speaker C: I was looking for in a video game back then. Yeah, it looks like a book. Yeah. [00:11:20] Speaker B: You know what? [00:11:21] Speaker A: I like playing sonic games for the story. They have a story, like a book. [00:11:26] Speaker B: So he brought it home. He brought it to his house. [00:11:29] Speaker D: You are a fan of books. Morrowind is a. Oh, yeah, for sure. [00:11:34] Speaker C: So, yeah, no, I actually did. I read a lot of fantasy when I was young, so I probably totally missed out, but. Sorry, keep going. [00:11:41] Speaker B: He. So he brought it to his house. I'm over at his house. He. He boots it up. He's playing it. He can't get past the tutorial or like the. The end, like, to get in because, like, dude, there's so much reading, bro. This is. This game sucks, bro. And I'm like. I'm like, well, if you don't want to play, then I guess, like, I'll play it. And he's like. He's like, yeah, I'll just get high and watch you play it. So I start playing it and I. I like. I don't know how to explain this in a way that makes sense, but, like, time stopped and I played it for like 18 hours straight. And I read every single book that I came across. And like, everything was making sense to me. And for like the next eight months, I played the entirety of that game. I read every single book. I learned every single spell. I don't even. I didn't even beat the game. I didn't even get close to beating the game. I just was exploring so hard. And I like, when I was obsessed with it. And I didn't have like, Internet at home, so I would go to the library and I would like Google like, oblivion Secrets. And that's when I found the Elder Scrolls, like, Bethesda forums. And I don't know if you know anything about, like, the, like Morrowind and Elder Scrolls in general. Like, the guy who wrote it is a dude named Michael Kirkbride who's a psychopath. And he essentially, like expanded all of the lore for all of Elder Scrolls and Morrowind in just random forum posts. And I got sucked in so hard that I like, low key. I. There's a concept in Morrowind called Kim where you like, can. Where you recognize the godhead as like the. They call it like the dreamer in the. The waking dreamer or something like that. Someone like, who's. Anyways, I like, fell into it, like, religiously. And I was like, oh, damn, and it low key cured my schizophrenia. It made so that. It made it so that I didn't have as bad of like, time transitioning into like adulthood with. And yeah. So Morrowind saved my life. Hi key. I love that. I love this stupid ass game. [00:13:39] Speaker A: Okay. [00:13:41] Speaker C: It's incredible hearing you talk about Morrowind. Like, you're talking about like, people talk about like, Christ. [00:13:47] Speaker B: I low key. The. The Nervarine is like, he just like me for real. I'm trying to be closer to you know what I'm saying? [00:13:57] Speaker A: So who's your Pope? If the Catholics have their new Pope, who's your Pope? [00:14:01] Speaker B: Probably like Vivek or something. No, he's a bad guy. But I mean, it's queer. Yeah. [00:14:13] Speaker D: But you know, also, before we move on, I just want to just briefly point out that the ideas inside of the. The Morrowind endgame, of course, weren't invented by Morrowind. And like, they put that in that, in there because. Because a lot of people, that was their first exposure to a lot of that stuff. Like, obviously, like, once you were done with Morrowind, you were able to find other writing and research and stuff on the ideas that were in there. [00:14:42] Speaker B: A lot of it is like, a lot of what Michael Kirkbride was doing was one. Taking too many drugs. There's, There's a very funny story about how like, they were. There was like a production meeting that had to happen. And Michael Kirkbride, no one had seen him in like three or four weeks. He just. And like, who's that guy? Todd Howard had been like, dude, I need you to confirm that you're coming to this because, like, we need, blah, blah, like, you know, I need you. And no one has heard from him. He completely missed that production meeting. And then Todd Howard, pissed, ready to go fire him, like, drives down to his apartment and finds Michael Kirkbride like, just in a complete stupor, like, just high out of his mind and all of the, like, pretty much the entire Elder Scrolls, like, universe written out and arranged around him. Like, like an actual cosmology that he had built for like, and like Todd hours. Like, you're not fired, but you can't do this. [00:15:41] Speaker C: You have to be. [00:15:42] Speaker B: Yeah. You have to be present. [00:15:44] Speaker C: More functional than this. [00:15:45] Speaker B: Yeah. So, like, but I mean, a lot of it is like, mysticism, like, like deeply understanding. Like, there's a lot of interesting. It's. It's a good way if you're like, if you're a. Just a stupid kid. It's a good way to like, fall into like, understanding like some occult stuff that isn't predatory. Because a lot of like, occult. A lot of like, occult, like practitioners or like occult stuff. Like, when you say it, it's got like this really nasty, like, connotation of being gross, you know what I'm saying? Because, like, a lot of it is predatory. It's like predatory on people who are, you know, not as well, they don't have the mind. Yeah. [00:16:20] Speaker D: If a 15 year old boy were. You're learning how to become a warrior, you would prefer they learned it from Carlos Canstaneda than Andrew Tate. [00:16:29] Speaker B: Yeah, precisely. Precisely. And like with, with this kind of stuff, it's not teaching you how to be like a wizard or a magician, but it is kind of teaching you like allegorically to understand that like, reality can happen to you. But you have, you have the ability to like, what is that called? To like, not. Not change the reality, but to change how you react to your reality. Which is like, that's a very powerful lesson to teach a 12 year old going through like, you know, on top of the, you know, I wasn't 12, but like, you know, 14 or 16, like, on top of going through like puberty, I was also like realizing that I had like, schizophrenia. You know what I mean? Like, those are two very difficult things to try and navigate and to have this stupid game kind of explain that, like, hey, you can't change what you're experiencing, but you can change how you react to it. That's like incredible, you know what I'm saying? Like, that I needed something like that so unironically. Oblivion slaps. It's like the best or not Oblivion Morrowind is like, I don't know, Michael. I owe Michael Kirkbride my life. Loki. [00:17:28] Speaker C: This is actually a really fascinating, cool story behind why you picked this. And I, I'm really appreciative of you for sharing it sincerely. Like, it's really interesting to hear you talk about this. And I don't have a lot of personal experience with the game, but I will say that, like, indirectly I had a friend that like, I went over to his house one time. Like, I was like the opposite person in your story, Marcos. Where, like, I went his house one time and, and like, this was like when I was pretty early into smoking weed. And like, you know what? Those, like, those like early days of smoking weed are like, where it's just like, you're just like in Narnia, you know? [00:18:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:10] Speaker C: So I'm like at my buddy's house just watching him play this game, like, and I'm like, you know, I'm high for the like, 10th time or whatever, you know, ever. And like, yeah, it's like I don't even know what this is. And I'm just like, what is this game, man? Like, it was just like so weird compared to anything I'd ever seen anyone play. And I was both like, I kind of want to play this. And then I was also like, why the fuck do you play this? [00:18:43] Speaker B: Like, I think it came out in 2003, right? Like, so, like you have 2002. 2002. That's. It's so far ahead of like everything. It's, it's like it doesn't, it doesn't even register that it was like, like literally 9, 11 had just happened, you know what I'm saying? Just, literally just happened a year ago. [00:19:03] Speaker C: It was like simultaneously one of the most most innovative and like original things I had ever seen in my life. And also like garbage. [00:19:13] Speaker B: Yeah, it is true though. Both of those things can be true. [00:19:17] Speaker C: And it's just like my, my like 14 year old impression of it, seeing it for the first time or whatever, you know, or I guess I was a little older than that, but, you know, it's just, whatever. [00:19:28] Speaker A: What's wild to me is thinking, is thinking about how there's less distance between Elder squirrels. Three Elder Scrolls five. Then there is Elder Scrolls five. And today. [00:19:42] Speaker B: Oh yeah. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Between three and five. And we still keep getting remasters of five. [00:19:51] Speaker C: Yeah, well, that's because that's all we need is just more remasters of five. Well, thank you for bringing to us this excellent, most excellent topic. So obviously we thought long and hard about what else we might want to talk about that could go well with Morrowind as a topic. And I think you'll approve of where we decided to take it today. Our idea was that, you know, one big feature, one big lore feature of the Elder Scrolls that has come back from many games and it doesn't exactly get its start in Morrowind as I understand it, but it kind of like Morrowind established a lot of things that would go on to become major aspects of the Elder Scrolls. [00:20:40] Speaker A: Like words. Like implementing words. [00:20:43] Speaker C: Yeah, like creating the written language. Something that had to be created for the Elder Scrolls series to exist. And one big lore feature that I'd love to hear your thoughts on, Marco says is a skooma. [00:21:01] Speaker B: Oh, hell yeah. [00:21:03] Speaker A: I love skooma diving. [00:21:05] Speaker B: I just love that they had an addiction mechanic in a game in 2002, you know. [00:21:11] Speaker A: Oh, maybe I don't like scuba diving. [00:21:17] Speaker B: Skooma. There's like, you know what's crazy about this too, is that like it Loki. So it kind of translates to a real world problem that has something to do with like Native American sovereignty in America. Like, I know, I know I'm going to sound like I'm fudgeing, losing my mind here, but like, oh no, you. [00:21:35] Speaker C: Sound right in line with this show. I have to cut you off because we're here today to talk about as well as Morrowind, the United States drug war. [00:21:46] Speaker B: So. [00:21:48] Speaker C: This is in fact, I'm not making this up. This is the notes of this, of this show. See, this is why I knew I had to have you come on is because this show is, is, is just insane enough for me to guess where it's going. [00:22:09] Speaker B: So. Okay, I, I don't think it's coincidental. Michael Kirkbride Loki was into all kinds of stuff. If you read his forum post, he had like, he had a. He had the inability to separate his like, interests and passions, things that he was into into his writing. And so one of the things that he wrote about extensively, just kind of randomly was Native American sovereignty. In the forums he would just bring it up sometimes and just talk about it. And you know, I think how he probably got. Fell into it because he was like a big psychedelics guy. And there was definitely an overlap in the 2000s of like a guy who was really into psychedelics and a guy who was in Native American sovereignty because at the time there was an issue between the US government enforcing Schedule 1 drug like drug enforcement on Native American reservations that had sovereignty over psychedelic mushrooms. And what was the other one? The. I can't not, not just ayahuasca, but there's like a. Oh, peyote. The, the, the. And I think low key that Kuskuma existed before in like Daggerfall, but it was just something that people would do to get high. [00:23:23] Speaker C: But like, that's why I said it was like it was, it vaguely existed before this, but it didn't really have like. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I've got the wiki up right now and I'm looking into moon sugar and. Holy shit. [00:23:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:36] Speaker A: Okay, so all about the politics. [00:23:38] Speaker C: Yeah, no, it's. You can read it as an allegory for this. You could also read it as a reasonable allegory for like, you know, mandatory sentencing stuff. We'll talk more about that. [00:23:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Skooma, in fact is created by refined moon sugar, which is a holy, like it's a holy substance that is related to who they call the beast Folk, which is like kind of a racist term for Khajiits who are like a. They're a. A race of cat people that come from this place called Elsewhere. And, like, they kind of live. It's hard to. They're like a blend between, like, Romani culture and like, Native American kind of, but more like American American, like Choctaw or like, you know, like nomadic people. They're kind of a blend between that and like, Persian, like, merchant, like the nomad merchant people. And like, it's really interesting. But regardless, their moon sugar and skooma is used recreationally to, like, connect them with, like, the moons Masser and Secundus, who are the, like, who they worship as, like, their. That direct descendants from them. So, like, they use this stuff and like, sure, there's people who are completely addicted to it within their own culture, but, like, they use it recreationally because it. It like, literally it's a part of their culture. And as soon as I hit the empire, who is like, essentially, they're the Anglo of the like, of. Of Tamriel, of like, you know, of oblivion. It hit that, like the crack epidemic in the 80s, right. Like, they just started going crazy. So the. The empire cracked down and essentially made it super duper illegal. And like, Morrowind is interesting because it's ran by the dark elves. And while they are part of the empire, they have. What is it called? I can't remember. They have, like, kind of how, like, what is that place? That's not part of China, but it's China. You know what I'm talking about? [00:25:42] Speaker A: Taiwan. [00:25:42] Speaker B: Taiwan. They have, like, Taiwan rules where, like, they're independent, but they still are. They still follow or fall under, like, the land of, you know, like, certain rules. Well, they've made it legal. They've legalized it in. In Morrowind because they khajits are house servants in Morrowind, and they want them to stay high so that they perform their duties so that they're, like, controllable. It's fun. It's. It's crazy. Like this. [00:26:08] Speaker A: I just want to say I'm reading again still on the Wikipedia page, Trivia. There are 24 free samples of this ingredient in the game. [00:26:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:18] Speaker A: Oh, my God. 24 free samples of this ingredient. [00:26:25] Speaker B: Yeah. And if you take. For the rest, if you take it, you. You get like. And you don't keep taking it. You get like a. Like a debuff. You get like a permanent debuff. Oh, you have to keep taking it. Yeah, it's. It's like, it's very. The game is up. But, but I love, I love this game but it is like, I don't know again, it's just you get a lot of like perspective. Brandon was right about how like you start with this stupid game and then you, you like. I mean like this kind of led me into my understanding of like the. And how up it is because of this stupid game and Skooma and like. [00:27:03] Speaker D: They were willing to have something that even though like it was extremely buggy, extremely ugly, they were able to pack so much. Like first of all, the game became legendary because the sheer amount of stuff that's in it just so easily overwhelms a fucking gaming magazine. Imagine being game pro and having to cover even some of this stuff in like a thousand five hundred words. All you can do is just say this shit's crazy. You've got to watch this. When it comes up like is the game that just lends itself to hyperbolic, you know, whatever. And the reviews it got were pretty good. I mean it was like this. It was just people saying a lot of the detail and a lot of the details. It lives up to the hype. Like if you want to go live out your story in Morrowind, there's nothing stopping you from having lots of fun playing it right now. But it is buggy, weird, janky, tedious, bizarre. You know, it's real human art, let's tell you that. [00:28:12] Speaker C: Yeah, JoJo's bizarre Morrowinds but because it was so ambitious, it was able to include a theme like this that is, you know, unusually well handled even by modern standards to some extent. In certain ways. Not necessarily in every single respect, but I think especially from a political perspective, like the idea of creating a real tangible allegory for the drug war. A lot of people try to do this and they end up with something ham fisted and kind of hacky. But the way that the Empire both kind of tolerates and doesn't tolerate Skooma, the way that like all of these different groups have these different relationships to it, the way that it has this complex and deep history and like cultural stuff that is tied to it is very compellingly like real life stuff. [00:29:12] Speaker B: Something that's really insane about this stupid thing is the reason why Skooma is illegal. And Elsewhere, where it's like, where it's like that, where it's made because Elsewhere was conquered by the Empire, it's illegal there. Right? But it's not illegal in Morrowind is because Morrowind technically has nukes. So that's why there's like nuclear intrigue in this stupid ass game. [00:29:38] Speaker C: That's correct. [00:29:39] Speaker B: They have a God's heart, which is essentially a nuke. I don't know how to explain that in a way. [00:29:45] Speaker C: No, I think that is the best and only way to explain it, actually. [00:29:50] Speaker A: I play video games to escape from reality. [00:29:54] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I play video games to learn about reality. Yeah. [00:29:59] Speaker C: Not fucking anymore you don't. Yeah. So I mean, when you look at like the history of the war on drugs in the United States, which is something that like a lot of things in the US kind of feels like it's of kind just gone on forever, but really started in the 70s, and you look at like, you know, you compare, like drug policy, scheduling, all this stuff. There's some really comparing compelling parallels. And so that's why we thought it would be good to bring these two topics together today. So I have some questions here for everyone that I think will hopefully provoke some interesting thoughts and more importantly, some interesting votes. That's right. We're moving into the voting section of our show. [00:30:45] Speaker A: Vote on drugs, vote on drugs. [00:30:48] Speaker C: It's time to vote for or against drugs. I think we all know how we're voting. My first question for everyone. If we had the ghost fence in real life, would this make a difference in the flow of hard drugs, drugs across international borders and the ghost fence? Can the ghost fence help Donald Trump achieve his dreams? [00:31:14] Speaker A: I was gonna say. [00:31:17] Speaker C: Or, or, or is it, or is it not gonna work out? [00:31:20] Speaker B: Folks are building a ghost fence. We're using our ancestors. We're getting in together. We're building. We're not gonna let the. [00:31:28] Speaker C: My father and my grandfather here. That is one thing you can say about Trump. He would put his own phones into the ghost fence. [00:31:36] Speaker B: No hesitation, zero hesitation. [00:31:42] Speaker C: You know, like Joe Biden. If Joe Biden was building the ghost fence, he'd be like, I remember when. [00:31:46] Speaker B: He started the ghost fence, he got. [00:31:48] Speaker C: These bones from convicts. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Jack. I know, I know most of those ghosts. I was friends with them. [00:31:55] Speaker C: He'd be, he'd be getting his bones. He'd be getting his bones. This from the shadiest sources imaginable. But Donald Trump, he would, he would authentically bring his own parents bones down to eternity in the ghost wall. [00:32:08] Speaker A: I appreciate family values like that. [00:32:12] Speaker C: That's family values right there for sure. What do you, what do you think, Marcos? Do you think the ghost fence could. You think the ghost fence could stop fentanyl? [00:32:21] Speaker B: It literally, like, if you're talking about in the game. No, it literally could not. But, but. [00:32:29] Speaker C: I did enough research to know that this was the answer, but I'm still really excited to talk about. [00:32:33] Speaker B: But it could. It could potentially do what? Like, the re. The reality of, like, the border, like, the harsh border, like, drug stuff, isn't that they want to stop the flow of drugs coming in. It's that they want to stop seeing junkies, which. The ghost fence would work for that. Do you get what I'm saying? Like, the ghost fence keeps everyone who has the blight is what they call it, inside of the ghost fence. So, like, technically, the fent can come through, but the moment you get addicted to the fent, they can send your ass over to the ghost, like, past on the other side of the ghost fence. So it kind of does work. It just doesn't work the way it's intended. You know what I'm saying? [00:33:14] Speaker C: But it would. It would make Donald Trump happy is. [00:33:16] Speaker B: What I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying. So they would. He would, you know, 100 billion to the ghost fence, folks. [00:33:25] Speaker D: It seems more like the ghost fence is more of a Joe Biden measure that Loki. [00:33:30] Speaker C: Yeah, that actually does a little Joe Bideny, I'm not gonna lie. [00:33:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:36] Speaker A: I think Trump would still like it just for the name. We have a ghost fence. It's a fence. It's made out of ghosts. It's very authentic. Best ghost fence ever. [00:33:45] Speaker D: Called it something else. And Trump would have been saying, under me, I'm going to make the ghost fence. And he'll be describing stuff that Biden already is doing. And Biden's like, I'm already doing all that. [00:33:58] Speaker B: We're calling a ghost detention center, Jack. [00:34:06] Speaker C: The spiritual guidance perimeter or something. [00:34:10] Speaker B: Spiritual guidance perimeter, Jack, is very simple. [00:34:15] Speaker C: It's not hard to understand. Jack. [00:34:17] Speaker A: I'm sorry. [00:34:21] Speaker C: I want to say this was a loaded question because when I looked into this, the Wikipedia or. Or not Wikipedia, but the wiki, you know, the fan wiki about Elder Scrolls I was reading specified that people have tunneled under the ghost fence, that you can levitate over it, that over the years a number of monsters have escaped with no explanation. So clearly there's flaws in the ghost fence. We don't even understand the ghost fence. [00:34:53] Speaker B: The ghost fence, the Tribunal are the people who. Who created the ghost fence, and they know it doesn't work. They did it as a. As a half measure to make the people of Morrowind feel safer. [00:35:04] Speaker A: I play video games to scare it. [00:35:09] Speaker B: Like, that's. I'm not. I'm not even joking. Like, that's in the lore of the. [00:35:12] Speaker C: Stupid game with me. [00:35:14] Speaker B: No, I'm being. I'm being deadass. They like, they knew that it wasn't going to work and it wasn't a permanent solution. So they were just like, we'll just put up something around Red Mountain and it'll make everyone in Morrowind feel safer. And literally it did. And like. [00:35:33] Speaker A: I hate this stupid game. It's the worst video game ever. [00:35:39] Speaker B: This game's too woke. This game is way too woke. [00:35:42] Speaker C: We couldn't make more win today. [00:35:44] Speaker B: You could not make more win today because it's not woken up. It's. [00:35:48] Speaker C: You shouldn't have made it at any time. Maybe. [00:35:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:53] Speaker A: I'm going back in time and stopping this game from existing. I'm sorry, you'll have to find another game to be obsessed with your entire. [00:36:00] Speaker B: Life on some real. I don't think I've ever met a single Morrowind player that was like, even remotely right wing. Like, not one, I don't think. And like, I know a lot of people. Like, people. I know people who play like, you know what? Actually I know a lot of like, conservative Oblivion players, but I've never met. I've never met. Like, I don't think it's possible. I think it really does, like, kind of backdoor like really good concepts into your brain. Like. [00:36:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, first of all, conservatives don't read read. [00:36:30] Speaker B: So you know what I didn't even think about. Yeah, absolutely. That's. [00:36:35] Speaker C: Again with that much reading. Yeah, that's. [00:36:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:40] Speaker C: This is all interesting. Let's move on to our next topic. How popular would Skooma be compared to other hard drugs if it existed in real life? [00:36:49] Speaker B: Skooma is essentially. It's. It's meth. That's good for you, right? Because it. [00:36:54] Speaker C: But also still bad for you. [00:36:56] Speaker B: No, because the downside is that you have reduced luck, which. You know what I'm saying, Like as a mechanic in real life. [00:37:01] Speaker C: That does sound realistic though. To. To. [00:37:04] Speaker B: Yeah. If you're doing meth anyways, you don't have good luck. And you know what I'm saying? There's a. If you're addicted, if you're hard, hard, like hardcore addicted to meth, chances are your luck stat is already pretty low. It's like you've gotten this far without it. So Scuba really doesn't have a downside for you. You don't lose your teeth, you don't get super skinny. You just go. You just move really fast and your luck stat stays low, you know. But if you're luck stat Zero. You're fine. [00:37:27] Speaker C: Like, but they do make harder versions of it later with worse effects. [00:37:32] Speaker B: Oh yeah? Yeah. I think in Oblivion, I think it like reduces your speed or reduces. It reduces your agility or intelligence too. [00:37:41] Speaker C: I was referring to that specific version that the vampires make. [00:37:45] Speaker B: Oh yeah. [00:37:46] Speaker C: It's like specifically meant to like prey on Skooma addicts. [00:37:51] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, but that's like, that's. That's like niche meth. You know, that's like a guy buying like artisanal meth. You know what I'm saying? Like, like it's such a rare case. [00:38:05] Speaker C: I guess that's fair. [00:38:07] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. My guy, he makes artisanal methods. [00:38:13] Speaker C: So are you making. Are you basically making the case that Skooma would be like insanely popular or. [00:38:18] Speaker B: I think it would. I. High key thing. It would like, especially. It would be super. It would be super popular with gym bros who are trying like obsessed with like getting PRs on like their miles, you know what I'm saying? It would be like a real big like athletes drug, you know? Like, it would be. It would be massive for like. It would be. The trucking industry would run on Skooma. Right? The. [00:38:41] Speaker C: Actually it's you who would be massive if you were on Scoop. [00:38:44] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I would probably be on Skooma. [00:38:48] Speaker C: The. The tagline right there. Yeah, yeah. [00:38:51] Speaker A: Donald Trump legalized Schumach. [00:38:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:54] Speaker D: The actual drink. The actual drink, Yoohoo, would also be massive if Skooma was real. [00:38:59] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:39:02] Speaker D: You'd want something to wash down the skooma. [00:39:05] Speaker B: Yeah, Scuba's got a kind of bitter flavor. [00:39:08] Speaker C: It's got to have a weird taste because I saw this cocktail in the Skyrim cookbook first for like a Skooma drink. It didn't sound good to me. Not gonna lie, low key sounded kind of wax. So yeah, it's gonna have a. It can't taste good based on what I know. So are we all just basically in agreement that Skooma would just. Skooma would just become the epidemic of the United States? [00:39:36] Speaker B: Scuba would kick ass. Like, could you imagine. Could you imagine instead of like, like all of the E Girls on Twitter that are like just hopelessly cokeheads, imagine them on Skooma instead, you know what I'm saying? Like the posting, the kind of Skooma posting we would get. Do you know how cool that would be? [00:39:53] Speaker C: I actually cannot imagine, but I'm trying. [00:39:57] Speaker B: Scuba posting would rock so hard. [00:40:02] Speaker A: Okay. I just talked to the Pope and he admitted none of those words were in the Bible. [00:40:07] Speaker C: I'm just imagining like, you know, when people meme on, like, what if Viking warriors had Twitter? Like, I feel like that's what Skooma posting would be like. Just posting like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna rip. [00:40:20] Speaker B: I think I can put their spine. [00:40:22] Speaker C: On my barbecue grill today. [00:40:23] Speaker B: Like, you know, no, Scuba posting would be like, I'm pretty sure I could jump over the moon. I'm positive I could do it. I've had enough. I think I can do it. I think I could jump over the moon. [00:40:34] Speaker A: I need an adult. [00:40:38] Speaker C: Okay, so given that Skooma is going to take over the United States, which state would be the schooma capital of the U.S. arizona. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Arizona. It has to be Arizona. It has to be. It. I have. It's, it's Arizona. Arizona is ground zero for Skooma consumption and production. It's, it's, it's where, it's where it all comes from. Like, listen, Arizona borders elsewhere. [00:41:08] Speaker A: Of course. It has to be a swing state. [00:41:10] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a sweet, It's a purple state. You know, they got kind of lax laws over there. Like they. No, I think like in all honesty, Arizona is, is, is the, is the quiet meth capital of the world. [00:41:25] Speaker A: Yeah, that works out from what I remember living in its neighbor Nevada. [00:41:30] Speaker B: It's. So lots of people do meth in Arizona, but they do it quietly. Right? They have like a job, they do normal stuff, you know what I'm saying? Like they did like, yeah, I have a job and I go to church and like also I, I spend about $10,000 a month on methamphetamines. And like that's super normal in Arizona. So like Skooma would hit them like a damn freight train. You know. [00:41:53] Speaker C: I do want to propose maybe Utah. [00:41:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I could see Utah. A lot of those like middle, mid, Midwestern states. I, they're like western, but they're mid, they're in between the west. [00:42:06] Speaker C: Yes. [00:42:07] Speaker A: Yeah, Utah's definitely mid. [00:42:10] Speaker B: Like they're west. They're west mid, not midwest. [00:42:13] Speaker C: So yeah, I, I do like Arizona as an answer though. That's really strong. Did anyone else want to weigh in on Skooma, capital of the U.S. brandon, I feel like you haven't. I'm in on this one. [00:42:24] Speaker D: Well, I, I think it would be just very obvious that Florida would be in strong contention. But I also feel like just this whole purple state, red state, you know, I, I just feel like Arizona, it was made such a strong case. There are also some plain states. There are some states where there's absolutely nothing happening. Like, if you can imagine. Yeah, you can imagine one of the. One of the. Montana or Dakota or Wyoming just getting wrecked by Skooma just to have anything to do. But you just think Arizona will have a larger economy for the drug. So, you know, you can round out. Jersey might have a Skooma presence too. [00:43:10] Speaker B: You can imagine. Jersey's got. I feel like Jersey's got more like a cyrodilic brandy problem, you know what I mean? Like, they got. They got bootlegging that over there and like, you know what? I'll give you that. Florida, but Florida is more of a moon sugar place. You get moon sugar from Florida. You don't really, you know what I'm saying? They don't really got like, especially the, like Miami, you know what I'm saying? Miami, that's a moon sugar city right there. [00:43:35] Speaker D: In my history, in my history, you can find, you can find any kind of drug in Florida. You've been in Florida, you can't find a drug. Let me know. [00:43:49] Speaker A: In fact, you can find Skoom on Florida. Right. [00:43:52] Speaker B: Probably can't get scuma in Florida unironically yet. [00:43:57] Speaker C: Okay, so you know how, like, when drugs come over, like if a drug gets popular. [00:44:04] Speaker D: Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Kennedy. [00:44:07] Speaker C: Okay, go ahead. [00:44:09] Speaker D: Wait a minute, wait a minute. In fact, we had that as a drop in our show. When you think about when you add in Havana syndrome, Florida is actually getting wrecked by drugs that don't even exist right now. [00:44:25] Speaker C: Incredible. Okay, no, that just broke me for a second. I couldn't. I just needed a sick. You know how sometimes a drug. You know, a lot of drugs do start in the United States, but obviously we don't start everything. And sometimes you'll hear of a drug that gets its start somewhere else and it has like a name wherever it comes from. And then it comes here and it gets its own street names, you know, so I'm kind of imagining that Skooma would get its own unique Americanized street names once it arrived here. I want everybody to try to come up with a street name for Skooma. Let's go. [00:45:08] Speaker A: I'm too uncool for this assignment. [00:45:10] Speaker B: I have several. Yeah, in Indiana they're calling it S.K. [00:45:16] Speaker C: All right. [00:45:16] Speaker B: Getting S.K. down. [00:45:17] Speaker C: Yep. [00:45:18] Speaker B: Yeah, down Indiana, you get an S.K. at the gas station. You get that S.K. [00:45:21] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. [00:45:23] Speaker B: In Baltimore, it's. It's Scoob. [00:45:25] Speaker C: Oh, I was actually gonna say schools in Baltimore, school north to Philadelphia. Scooz now. [00:45:38] Speaker B: Yeah, Scoons Yeah. [00:45:39] Speaker D: I was actually gonna have it be Goof in the plain states. [00:45:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:43] Speaker D: So it looks like we're all going in the same direction there. [00:45:48] Speaker B: So that in California it's called Scooby. They're doing Scooby in California? Yeah. [00:45:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:55] Speaker A: Wow. Let's never take that out of context in California. Does Shaggy know? [00:46:04] Speaker B: Yeah. No. They're high. They're high to their mind. [00:46:06] Speaker C: What do they call it? What do they call it in Arizona? And keep in mind, based on the kind of person you described as our primary user in Arizona, they're going to want a discreet name. [00:46:15] Speaker B: Oh, of course. Right. I think in Arizona it's probably because Arizonans don't have like any affect or accent. [00:46:24] Speaker D: Yeah, we're going to call it Scooby because California calls it. [00:46:27] Speaker B: Yeah, they're going to call it Scooby. [00:46:31] Speaker C: No, Arizonans love to differentiate themselves from California, even if it's only slightly different. [00:46:36] Speaker B: They're gonna, they probably, they're probably gonna call it Scoob Dog. Like, just it up. [00:46:41] Speaker C: Yeah, there you go. [00:46:44] Speaker B: Yes. I'm on Scoob Dog. Like, what's that? There's nothing to do with Morrowind, dude. [00:46:52] Speaker C: Wait, what's that other dog that appears sometimes? Scrappy. [00:46:56] Speaker B: Scrappy. [00:46:59] Speaker A: They're taking some scraps. [00:47:03] Speaker B: It's like four. It's so far removed from what it started. [00:47:07] Speaker C: Yo, you got the scraps? [00:47:09] Speaker B: You got some scraps? Yeah. What are you talking about, dude? [00:47:12] Speaker C: We're talking about Morrowind, obviously. Duh. [00:47:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Gonna take some Velbar. [00:47:22] Speaker C: What would the leading anti skooma NGO be called? Like, you know how there's like Mothers Against Drunk Dragons Driving or, you know, these, these different. [00:47:31] Speaker B: It would be, it would be ntms and it'd be no to Moon Sugar. Yeah. Because they wouldn't call it directly Skooma. They wouldn't. You know, they would it up. They would like, just like. Did you know that the term crack was invented by the White House? Like, accidentally they up and invented the term crack. Because before that it was base. Everyone called it base. Right. Wow. [00:47:55] Speaker A: Pretty based. [00:47:56] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's like a. I, like, I, I. So I did a bunch of research on like, like the crack epidemic in the 80s. And it turns out that like, America accidentally. [00:48:06] Speaker C: Accidentally invented it. [00:48:09] Speaker B: Yeah, accidentally. They like, what is it called? They did this thing where they, they, they made it so that it destroyed. They, they wanted to destroy the inner cities. That's what they wanted. They wanted to destroy like black cities in America. That's what they literally imported it to do that. And then when it started like leaking out into like other cities, like whiter areas, they accidentally did a. What are those called? Like a self fulfilling prophecy where they, like where they, they were telling people like, oh, and it's leaking into the cities. And it hadn't made its way out of the cities yet. And then by saying that they did that, all of the drug dealers that were like making money in the drug markets in like Oak, Oakland and la, and like, because it started out in the Bay Area and in California and it moved its way east to like, you know, New York. But how it moved its way east was because they were saying that it was happening in New York and like in like Miami and like major cities across America. They were saying that, oh yeah, there's a, there's drug trades in every city in America. But there wasn't. And all of the drug dealers were like, dude, but we, but we could though. Well, why did, why aren't we. [00:49:18] Speaker A: This I'd use my tax dollars for. [00:49:20] Speaker B: Yeah, so they like, there's a lot of like, they completely. It was originally called base and it was called base because it was off. Based off something called baste, which is paste, in like Venezuelan Spanish or not Venezuelan. I. Peruvian Spanish. Because in Peru was when they were. Where they were like doing all the actual refinement. And cocaine itself was too expensive who for the Peruvians to purchase because it was all for export. So they would scrape up what was left over off the sides of the like pots and stuff and then like throw it away. And people started realizing you could smoke that like essentially pasty dried freebase cocaine. You could, you could literally smoke it. And they started calling it paste or paste. And it was like 10 times more addictive and it was like insane. And then the Americans sent the Food and Drug Administration to come down here and like monitor the situation. And they came back and they're like, yeah, we don't think it's a big deal. In fact, we brought some so we can share with you guys and see it. Like, yeah, the CIA was like, dude, we gotta, we gotta get this now. Like, we gotta get that now. And that's. Yes, that's how. But it was. Nancy Reagan accidentally invented the term crack because it was originally called Bass Kennedy. [00:50:44] Speaker A: Next time I say something is based and you ask me based on what I'm going to say based on crack. [00:50:52] Speaker B: Based on Nancy Reagan. [00:50:53] Speaker A: Yeah, based on Nancy Reagan. [00:50:57] Speaker C: That's really interesting. Now. Okay, I have to take us back and put us back on topic though, because I'M not satisfied with. I'm satisfied with your political analysis, but I'm not satisfied with your answer to the organization about the organization that's going to stop Skooma. Because I think it needs to. I think it needs to maybe. I think the acronym needs to be funny. I want. I want the acronym to spell something funny. [00:51:25] Speaker A: Let's see. So Moon Sugar. That's an Ms. Yeah. [00:51:28] Speaker C: You think? [00:51:29] Speaker B: I'm trying to think of like Skooma Lovers Against Morrowinds. Because that's slam, which is funny. But like that doesn't really make sense. Yeah, that's the opposite. It's the complete opposite though. It's people who like Skooma who are against. It's like. It's like if Dare did the. Well, I mean Dare did do the exact same. But like if that was intentional. You know what I mean? [00:52:01] Speaker C: I think maybe it was. Well, no. [00:52:03] Speaker B: I don't know. Yeah, I'm trying to think. [00:52:09] Speaker A: I'm cooking back here. Don't you worry. [00:52:12] Speaker D: I'm trying to come in the universe. This is in the universe of our universe, right? [00:52:16] Speaker C: Universe of our real world. Like Skooma has taken over the United States streets. What's. [00:52:21] Speaker B: I got one. But it doesn't really make sense. And it's. It's Skooma Takers Anonymous. North Nor. Like North Korea and that stank. That's all I got. I'm thinking. And all I can. I can come up with stank. Maybe. [00:52:41] Speaker C: Wait, I got it. I got it. Skooma kills Americans. [00:52:48] Speaker B: There we go. There we go. [00:52:52] Speaker A: The closest I got. The closest I got was mother's melting magic sugar. Or. [00:53:03] Speaker B: I like Scott. I really do like Scott Schuma kills Americans. [00:53:06] Speaker C: Is. [00:53:07] Speaker B: Is. It's to the point. [00:53:10] Speaker A: Wait a second. What does scuba. What does scuba do? [00:53:12] Speaker B: Kills. Kills Americans. Oh no. [00:53:15] Speaker A: I am an American. [00:53:21] Speaker D: How about Citizens against trafficking Skooma Citizens against. [00:53:27] Speaker B: What does that spell out? There we go. There we go. [00:53:32] Speaker A: Cats don't chance. [00:53:34] Speaker B: Yeah, Cats. Cats is pretty good. Especially it's funny because that's what khajiits are are cats. That slaps. [00:53:45] Speaker C: Great stuff, everyone. Great stuff. Let's move on. Which US President would have best handled the Skooma crisis? [00:53:54] Speaker B: Richard Nixon. Don't. [00:53:56] Speaker C: You can't say that. [00:53:57] Speaker B: Why Richard Nixon is. He's unironically. I hate Richard Nixon. I need ever. I need to preface this. I hate him. He's a scumbag. He's the worst. But also he's the first baby girl president, you know? [00:54:08] Speaker A: Okay, I gotta. I gotta ask the Pope. Of that in the Bible. I gotta. [00:54:15] Speaker B: He's the first. He's the first, like, baby, what the. [00:54:20] Speaker A: He. [00:54:21] Speaker B: Really? Because he's kind of like, poor me. All I did was record everyone and do crimes that shouldn't be illegal. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, he's very much. Yeah, he's. Well, no, he's. He's kind of baby girl with it. Like, yeah, he is kind of a birthday boy, but he's more baby girl. Like, especially. You have to understand, it's a fashion. It's his fashion. [00:54:39] Speaker D: You know what? Yeah, he. [00:54:42] Speaker A: To be fair, the Supreme Court does agree now that it's not a crime when the president does it. [00:54:47] Speaker B: Like, he was way ahead of the time on that one. But, like, he. You have to. Like, the heroin. There was a heroin crisis that had. Was happening under Richard Nixon. And his. His solution to the heroin crisis was instead of like. So everyone else was like, all right, we're gonna. We're gonna, like, we're gonna look at, like, prior to that, any kind of crisis or drug. Well, there wasn't really a lot of drug crisises or whatnot. But his thought was, okay, we're gonna make. You know what? Actually, I changed my mind. Because I changed my mind, actually. I know exactly who would handle it, and it would be terrible. If you want to go. The worst possible person it would be. It would be Bill Clinton. He would make mandatory schooma sentencing. [00:55:30] Speaker C: Okay, well, actually, my next question is about. [00:55:35] Speaker D: Wait, well, go ahead. What's your next question? [00:55:38] Speaker C: Kind of just lump these two together is what I. We don't have to move on completely, but my next question was going to be a mandatory schooma sentencing versus Moon Sugar. How are. How. How are they both scheduled and sentenced? [00:55:53] Speaker B: Moon Sugar is a gentleman's drug. [00:55:54] Speaker D: Okay, before we get to that, before we get to that, I really feel like Joe Biden, to everyone's surprise, because Biden would have definitely been right along with Clinton in the national schuma Act of 92 or whatever. [00:56:10] Speaker B: Absolutely, Absolutely, dude. [00:56:13] Speaker D: But however, I think he would have been. Become gradually more pro skooma as president. Like, it would have been buried in, like, the grants and, you know, like, you know, the grants and the bills and something about green energy and then like, a couple of years into the term, especially because this schuma is really taking off in purple states and he's realizing that this is an American industry. So, you know, the Joe Biden, that's. That's, you know, he's losing a little ground with the unions, Elon's rebuffed him. He's looking for just something that can be. And he finds that it's also a lot of old people that are getting into Skooma. I think Biden gradually becomes more pros, cons and Skma during his term and that by his lame duck period, he's pro. And like, around the time he's doing, like, the Equal Rights Amendment is in the Constitution now. Yeah, but he's all going to Arizona and going like, skuma is the law of the land. [00:57:21] Speaker B: Kamala Harris would be. She would be legalizing skooma in, like, California, but at the same time, she would be locking people up for 20 years, you know what I'm saying? For, like, a dime bag of skooma. Like, that's. That's like, that's her M.O. you know what I mean? [00:57:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:38] Speaker B: Well, she was a prosecutor. She'd be doing people. [00:57:42] Speaker D: Especially for a drug where it just seems like it exposes America's bipolar nature. [00:57:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:49] Speaker D: She's gonna be saying, I was enforcing the UMA law of the land. [00:57:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:53] Speaker C: You know, I think I. I actually want to make a. I think this moon sugar would be more harshly regulated and looked down upon specifically because it has a positive cultural connotation. [00:58:09] Speaker B: There's a precedence in Morrowind where skooma is legal in Morrowind, but moon sugar is illegal. Right. And the reason for that is because moon sugar is not as addictive. So remember, we go, if you recall the way back to the. When we started. They. In Morrowind, they want. They want who they call the beast folks, which are Argonians and khajiit. They want them addicted to skooma because in getting them addicted, they. They're more easy to, like, become. To make house servants because they're, like, stuck in these cycles of poverty. You know what I'm saying? So, like, moon sugar is illegal, whereas in the rest of the empire, moon sugar is legal and skooma is illegal. So, like, I play video games to escape reality. Like. Yeah, so, like, there's a precedence here where, like. But I mean, like, the same thing happened in the. In the 80s and 90s where in white communities, people would get caught with amounts like, you know, cocaine, like, bags of cocaine. And the charge, the sentencing, there was no, like, mandatory sentencing laws on that. So they would. They could either plea out, get some, like, some. I mean, they even had, like, sweetheart rehab deals if you had enough money. And it was considered. And the reason why I remember, I can't remember who it was but it was like some court circuit judge in like Wisconsin or something, and he was talking about how like you sentence people for cocaine because you know that they were just trying to have a good time and they made a mistake. But you sentence people harsher for crack because you. The only people who have. Who. The only people who have crack are intentionally like, selling it or intentionally destroying their lives. There's no one who does recreational crack. Like, that was. That was their. The mentality behind that, which that argument is what Bill Clinton used to introduce mandatory sentencing laws in the 80s and 90s 80s for crack cocaine. Which is like crazy up, you know what I'm saying? Like, it literally, like it was literally the most racist. Is one of the most racist bills that has ever existed. It's literally oblivion. Like, oblivion is explaining that, like, why they would make that illegal in the game because it was targeted towards a community of. Of minorities in. In. In the game, in universe. [01:00:35] Speaker C: Pretty incredible stuff. We've already covered a lot of topics today. I want to round out this episode kind of drifting away from the main topic and just going through a few. A few more questions that I had in mind that don't really relate as much, but I just think that maybe we'll still enjoy. And it's important to try to enjoy each question equally. So who's the most steampunk president in history? [01:01:06] Speaker A: My gut just wants to yell Teddy Roosevelt. [01:01:09] Speaker C: Okay, choice. [01:01:11] Speaker B: That's a. That's the simple. Yeah, that's. I feel like that's the. That's the obvious answer. But I'm trying to go a little bit. I'm trying to go a little bit more. [01:01:17] Speaker C: Dig a little deeper. [01:01:18] Speaker B: Subtle. Yeah, I'm trying to go more subtle. [01:01:20] Speaker A: Benjamin Franklin, he who was absolutely a person. [01:01:23] Speaker B: That's. That's. [01:01:27] Speaker A: Why is he on my 100 bill if he wasn't a president? [01:01:30] Speaker C: Good point. [01:01:31] Speaker B: It's kind of cool. It is kind of funny that they're like, dude, he was so cool. Just give him the hundred, dude. [01:01:39] Speaker C: What did he do exactly? I don't know. Like. [01:01:43] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. [01:01:45] Speaker C: Yeah, put him on the hundred. Okay. [01:01:47] Speaker B: The dude was a. The dude was a certified milk chaser dude. Like, the guy, like, he. [01:01:52] Speaker D: I'm trying to think, why can't it be George Washington? [01:01:55] Speaker B: Because that also feels like cheating. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, he's the worst. He's actually the worst aspect of like, steampunk in that he like, literally was like pulling out like slave teeth to wear. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's That's a steampunk ass thing to do. But it's awful. Yeah, that's the worst I've ever heard through like, oh, look at my steampunk. My. My steampunk hat that I made on Etsy. He's like, oh, check this out. I made dentures out of slave teeth. You know, like, that's insane, dude. What are you talking about? [01:02:24] Speaker A: George Washington. You created the Torment Nexus. [01:02:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Low key. Yeah. I'm trying to think of like who's someone that. Yeah, I think it was jfk. Actually. JFK was the most steampunk president. It's steampunk as. Yeah, it is, it is. It's one. You know what I mean? Like he just like it's a. Yeah, he's, he's, he slaps he's. And he got, he got taken out like most steampunk playthroughs of games where I just get one shotted by the boss. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's exactly what happened. [01:02:56] Speaker A: His head just did that. [01:02:58] Speaker B: Yeah, his head just did that. Yeah. I think it's jfk. I honestly think it's my, my pick is jfk. He's the most theme president for sure. [01:03:05] Speaker C: All right, which real life political scandal would make the best Morrowind side quest with the least interpretation or adaptation? [01:03:17] Speaker B: There was a guy named Vivek Ramaswamy. No, no, no. Who ran for president. I know about political. [01:03:22] Speaker C: I'm not allowed that one. [01:03:24] Speaker B: That's our next. All right, all right, all right. I'm just saying like you already got one. You got a one to one there. Let's see. The. The problem with it is that like the border crisis. We already covered it with like the border crisis and like the red and red mountain. You know what I mean? Like, and like. [01:03:46] Speaker C: Something they haven't already done. [01:03:49] Speaker B: Yeah, that's the problem. It's harder. It's so much harder to do. [01:03:53] Speaker A: You're a random adventurer one day. No, no. The gov. The government accidentally adds you to a signal chat. [01:04:01] Speaker C: Therefore I know what more what, what real life politically inspired Morrowind side quest is currently missing that would make you Marcos so happy. Which is a side quest where someone violates the Hatch act and you get to go, you get to go beat up that person. [01:04:23] Speaker B: Actually I got, I got one right. The banning of like of soda was something that was going to happen under I, I think. Still think it's gonna happen or it might happen under rfk. He's like brought it up multiple times. He's talking about banning Soda. This is the same exact thing that they did in Oblivion where they banned necromancy. They banned necromancy and it caused. And people were freaking out because they're like, I should be allowed to raise the dead. I study magic. That's what I'm supposed to do. And it, like, people were heated about it. So, like, there's a bunch of, like, pro necromancy, like, Pete, like, like interest groups lobbying the tribunal and like, trying to get them to. So, yeah, it's, it's the banning of soda. Banning of soda is like banning necromancy and, like. And I'll also, in all honesty, if they ban soda, I'm losing my mind. I'm literally, I will. I will leave America. That's like my final straw is banning soda. I can't. I can't live in a world where I can't get a Diet Coke. You know what I'm saying? If I can't get a Diet Pepsi or like, something like, I fucking will lose my mind. [01:05:32] Speaker D: I don't think, I don't think Trump is, is going to ban soda. [01:05:38] Speaker B: I'll march on the White House. [01:05:40] Speaker D: Yeah, one, One day of blowback. You know, we can compare. You know, we all don't like Michael Bloomberg, but there's no way that Trump could take one day of the intensity of the blowback Bloomberg got. [01:05:57] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:05:59] Speaker A: And what Trump used the giant Coke button for if he banned it right. [01:06:04] Speaker C: Now, negotiate renegotiating the tariffs with China all by himself, alone in a room, like, there's, there's no one. He's not talking to China at all. He's just getting yelled at in the newspapers and then coming out every day and being like, well, I'm, I'm talking to China, I'm talking with my guys. It seems like we got to lower these tariffs a little bit. And it's like. And then Xi comes out and is like, I haven't spoken to Donald Trump in 71 days. [01:06:37] Speaker A: Oh, you misunderstand. I didn't mean I went to the country of China. I meant I talked to my good friend China. Tariffs, last name tariff, first name China, Very lovely person. [01:06:48] Speaker B: China. Tariff sounds like she has a crazy ofp. I personally would, I would sub to that. [01:06:56] Speaker C: Yes. I'm up today kind of tariffs. You know, most things are getting more expensive, but. [01:07:04] Speaker B: $2 she got. Yeah, she got a 2$6 month special. [01:07:09] Speaker C: Wow. Okay. Who's more electable? Vivek or Vivek in the United States specifically. We're not talking about a fantasy setting where you have all the. Because. And, and I say this especially because Vivek, as soon as the gods get overthrown, Morrowind's Vivek basically just eats. Kinda. [01:07:32] Speaker B: Yeah, Vivek, I hate this question. Okay, so Vivek from Morrowind is unironically, probably one of the most competent leaders I've ever met, or like not met, but like ever seen portrayed in a game, right? Like a competent politician. And the reason why I would say he's a competent politician is because like he is holding a big ass rock over, like he's with his mind, right? Like his telekinesis powers. He's, he is stopping a massive meteorite from falling onto the city of Vivec, which would destroy most of Morrowind if it hit it. He's stop. And it's like, it's not up in space. It's literally hovering slightly above the city of Vivec and he lives inside of it. And he's essentially saying that like, if at any point in time you question my authority, I'm just gonna crash this into the city. So, you know, I'm benevolent because I, I'm allowing you to live, but also like, I'm reasonable. You know what I'm saying? It's, you can talk to me about stuff and he, like, he literally, his door is open. You can just go inside of, of the, of the meteorite and, and talk to Vivec and he'll, he'll, he'll question, he'll tell you things. But in all honesty, like, his, he's got a very interesting, he's very Mavellian, right? Where he like, he's aware, he's like aware of how Machiavellian he is. And whereas like Vivek Ramaswamy to me seems like a really. I've, I've worked with guys like him who's like a bad tech CEO who's just like, I want everyone to be my friend. Like, no, dude, that's bad. Dude, that's actually really bad. Like, you're gonna, you're, you're gonna have a bad time trying to do anything. [01:09:19] Speaker C: Especially if you are a perennially unlikable person. And now you're obsessed. [01:09:24] Speaker B: Absolutely. [01:09:25] Speaker C: Friendship as an important metric of your, your work. [01:09:28] Speaker A: You know what's gonna get me lots of friends if I run for governor of Ohio. Ohio. [01:09:34] Speaker B: That'll make a difference. [01:09:35] Speaker C: Okay, well, given that it's clear that Morrowind's Vivek is more politically competent, let's turn this around. And if real life Vivek Ramaswamy is Elected governor of Ohio, which city will he benevolently rename after himself? [01:09:54] Speaker B: His stupid ass would try and rename Sayyida Neen to his name, and it would. He. First off, he. He doesn't have telekinesis powers, so the city of Vivek, instantly gone, just vaporized by the. That's the other thing I forgot to say. Vivek. Like, he didn't stop the meteorite from. From hitting the city of Vivek. He. He called the meteorite down to hit it and then stopped it at the last minute and was like, hey, look what I did. [01:10:26] Speaker A: Would you like to see it up a little closer? [01:10:28] Speaker B: No. And like, okay, so he kind of like Vivek Ramaswamy would literally just. He would have the. I think he would have the juice to pull the, like, meteor down, but I don't think he could stop it. That's just wiping off the. The city of Vivek off the name of Earth. But Sayed Anin is the. Is the opening. It's the opening city that you land in when you first play Morrowind. And he would try and rename it that because he wants his. He wants your first impression to be of him. And if you've ever seen cyanine, it is a hole. It's got two buildings and it's mostly swamp. [01:11:04] Speaker C: It's another. What's in Ohio? Oh, what's it in Ohio name after himself. If he became governor of Ohio, our. Our real Vivek in real life, he. [01:11:17] Speaker B: Would it up and do like Zenya did. Like Zenya Ohio. Which is the coolest sounding name. It's not a cool place, but it is the coolest sounding name. He would it up and turn his. [01:11:28] Speaker C: I was thinking maybe Chillicothe. [01:11:32] Speaker B: That's a deep cut. That is a deep cut of all there. Are you a real Ohio head? Are you a real Ohioan? [01:11:39] Speaker A: He loves Ohio. Isn't that why you know all about it? You just wish you were there right now. Kennedy's about to kill me if I keep this up. [01:11:49] Speaker C: Yeah, real Ohio heads are gonna. They're gonna be listening to the episode. They're gonna be point. They're gonna be doing that meme where you point to go, oh, yeah, what is it? [01:11:58] Speaker B: Chilla. Chilla Coffee. Yeah. [01:12:03] Speaker A: What did you say about my mom? [01:12:05] Speaker B: Yeah, Chilla copy mentioned. [01:12:08] Speaker C: Or maybe otherwise. [01:12:11] Speaker B: Maybe. [01:12:11] Speaker C: Maybe just like Cleveland. You know, I forget. [01:12:14] Speaker B: I. I forget that Cleveland is in Ohio. [01:12:16] Speaker C: It feels like it's in Michigan. [01:12:18] Speaker B: I forget. No, Cleveland just feels like it's like it's its own State, like a city state. You know what I mean? Like, it just kind of exists. [01:12:24] Speaker C: That is how it should be. [01:12:26] Speaker D: It's interesting that y' all mentioned city states, because I looked up places in Ohio that were named after other places because I thought Vivek would want to like, like take credit for renaming or naming something, you know, and it turns out that there's a Russia Ohio. So my, my plan is that. That he takes over Russia to show that he's not aligned with Vladimir Putin no matter what. He's right. He's getting tough on Russia by renaming Russia Ohio after himself as a way to own Putin. [01:13:07] Speaker A: Oh. And the best way thing about it is it'll get really messy because it's pronounced Rushi for that little city in Ohio. And he's going to keep fucking it up and getting the people who live there mad. [01:13:19] Speaker C: I think Brandon might have cracked the code. [01:13:22] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be the city of Rushi, AKA Russia. [01:13:28] Speaker C: This has been an incredible time. Thank you, everyone, for voting with us. Marco, thank Marcos. Thank you so much for voting with us today. What do you. Do you want to plug something? Do you want to promote anything? Do you want to let people know about something? [01:13:40] Speaker B: Yes, I have a podcast. It used to be called the Ain't Show. We're changing the name because it turns out when you approach people and you're like, hey, come on my podcast. And they're like, oh, absolutely. What's it called? And you're like, it's called the Ain't show. Or Ass for short. People are like, yeah, yeah, get the. Out of my. Out of my. My dm. [01:14:00] Speaker D: Get out of my Uber. [01:14:04] Speaker B: Yeah, so we changed it. We're changing it to Homo or Not Homo. Homie Vulgaris. It used to be called. It used to be called. [01:14:10] Speaker C: We're changing it to Home of sexual. [01:14:13] Speaker B: No, homosexual. Yeah, no, it's, it's. It's Homie Vulgaris. We're starting. And we're starting it new with Fresh. We're getting. We're getting everything together. I still have the answer Show. You can follow me on Twitter at inter. Show. You can follow me on Tick Tock. You can follow me on YouTube. In fact, I would really appreciate the YouTube love. And I do stream, but I am a mailman and I work like six days a week and I work like 12 hour days, so I stream not that often, but when I do stream, I do it with a nose. I stream games that nobody likes. Games like Morrowind, games like Kenshi. I'm planning on streaming a bunch of just really fun, stupid stuff in the future. So if you want to subscribe, you can look me up, find me ntershow, and I'm on all social media there. [01:15:00] Speaker C: Great. And you can find us everywhere. You find podcasts, support an election of our lives. You can find all of us variously on social medias. Look in the show notes. We'll have all this stuff that Marcos mentioned in the show notes. And Marcos, thank you. It's so great to have the homie here. You've been a blessing. And just anything else you want to say on the way out the door as a farewell to everybody? [01:15:28] Speaker B: Absolutely love your homies. Support the homies. And also, this is an open invite to all of y' all to come on my show because you. I feel like we do different. We do very similar shows. The only difference is you do research and we don't. I literally will. [01:15:42] Speaker D: You'll see me there. You'll see me there. I mean, honestly, you were doing all of this talk about history, and it was like you were really doing research. No, like, you came pre research. [01:15:54] Speaker B: I'm a psychopath, and I love, like gov. I love. I used. I started out as a conspiracy theorist guy, and then I've somehow morphed that into, like, okay, but it's not aliens in Big Bigfoot. It's like the CIA and the crack epidemic and, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's. The actual conspiracies happen. You're an idiot if you don't think that they did, you know, like, so. [01:16:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I always trust the government. [01:16:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:16:18] Speaker C: Right. All right, that's it. Thank you for voting with us, and we'll vote with you again next time. Bye. [01:16:25] Speaker A: Take care. Vote, vote, vote. [01:16:33] Speaker C: Thanks for listening.