Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Now wait a minute.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: Now wait a minute.
[00:00:02] Speaker C: There's many tasks that we have to do in our life.
So many tasks. And they range and they vary. And they can be extreme or they can be simple, like eating at a.
[00:00:17] Speaker A: Restaurant or eating while skydiving. Very different one is very extreme.
[00:00:22] Speaker C: Very different experiences between those two. There's one task, though, that's the most extreme task that you're gonna undertake in your life.
The most incredible task, the most bewildering task. A task you'll never understand and yet you must engage with or else you will be punished. I have, of course, talking about the fact that it is time to finally move.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Everybody. I have a suggestion. Would you mind just voting? Vote. Just please vote. Thanks. Thanks, pal.
[00:01:06] Speaker C: It's the most important election of our lives.
This election, which will be, I do truly believe, the most important election of our lifetime.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: This is the most important election of our lifetime.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: This is the most important election. Don't you.
[00:01:23] Speaker C: You hear that?
[00:01:24] Speaker D: This the most important election in our lifetime.
[00:01:28] Speaker C: I certainly think it's the most important election of my lifetime.
This is the most important election of our times.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: Politicians say every time, this is the most important election. This one's really that important.
[00:01:40] Speaker C: Here to engage in the sacred task of voting with a, a wonderful esteemed group of people today, of course, I'm your host, Kennedy Cooper. We've got on the panel, as always, Brandon Buchanan.
[00:01:55] Speaker D: What's up, y'?
[00:01:56] Speaker B: All?
[00:01:56] Speaker D: How's it going? Let's do it.
[00:01:58] Speaker C: And we've got our in house statistician lending a thin veneer of credibility to this show, Andrew Fields.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: Margin of error. Margin of error.
[00:02:09] Speaker C: And we have a wonderful guest today, a shitposter extraordinaire, a, a rising podcaster, a just generally funny, wonderful friend to have on the show, Jeff the Toki Mongoose. Welcome to the show.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: Hey, thank you so much.
I'm so excited to be here.
And that's generally like the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me on the Internet.
[00:02:36] Speaker C: Yeah, I really, you know, you have a great presence on Blue Sky.
[00:02:40] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:02:41] Speaker C: I, I really enjoy the stuff that you post on there and I think that it's, you know, it's, it's no small surprise that a lot of other people have decided they also enjoy it.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: Gotta admit, I was genuinely surprised still to this day how many people follow me. I mean, I'm not like, you know, celebrity level or anything, but for being just a high guy in the Midwest, I have a lot of fun and I'm glad people enjoy it.
[00:03:04] Speaker C: Hey, speaking from experience, you can get pretty far online just by being a high person.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: It helps out cats too.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: I only have the Midwest part down. I. I need to get high right now.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: That's what I say to myself every day.
[00:03:22] Speaker C: Well, as you. As you step on up here into the voting booth, Jeff, would you please tell us what you got going on? Where can people find you? What should people know about?
[00:03:31] Speaker B: Obviously, Blue sky, like we were saying. Jeff tokimongous B Sky Social. I couldn't fit the DAW in there, so it's Jeff Toky Mongoose. Never bought the actual, like website stuff because money. I got a lot more podcasting coming up, as you were saying. I'm really excited to get into some more wrestling stuff. I am a huge pro wrestling fan. I talk about it constantly. I watch it way too often to the point I have no other life most of the time. So I'm going to be going on a spin off of Garrick's Monday night fake fights called Wednesday Night Fake Fights, where. Fights where we are going to be talking about all things aew. It's going to be airing Fridays, I believe, this coming week. I'm not sure how they'll, you know, probably previous weeks with that when this is coming out, but yeah, I really hope people listen to it. And I'm working on a little solo podcast where I explore the world of the paranormal through a pothead's eyes. As soon as I come up with a name for it, I'll let everyone know.
[00:04:26] Speaker C: Oh, that sounds great.
[00:04:28] Speaker A: Paranormal. A paranormal Pothead.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: I had a name and then I decided to Google it. I was like, oh, crap, like 10 other people already have this name. Okay, we gotta.
[00:04:37] Speaker C: Oh, I hate that.
[00:04:38] Speaker B: Go back to the drawing board here.
[00:04:40] Speaker C: Somehow no one had named a podcast the Most Important Election of Our Lives. Even though I was thinking about that.
[00:04:46] Speaker B: When I was trying to come up with like. This is a pretty common term. You figure at some point, just through law of probability.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: To be fair, there was a little concern if it was too long of a name for a podcast.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: It rolls. I like it. Yeah, it's memorable.
And that's what I'm trying. You want something good because that's the hook, you know?
[00:05:03] Speaker A: Yes, you have.
[00:05:04] Speaker C: You kind of have to go for a long name these days because every short name has been taken. Like if you're like Butter Friends, that's no out. Like you might. You be. You'd be like, surely Butter Friends is. Nope, you're wrong.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: Well, that's.
[00:05:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:05:20] Speaker B: Even with this idea like, the term I came up with was strange highness, which is, you know, play on high strangeness in the paranormal. And I was like, it's my bio on blue sky is just those two words. And I was like, oh, it's such a clever thing. It's going to sum up the concept I grew in. There's like 10 other ones. I was like, how did. Oh, I'm not creative at all.
No. Something will come around, though. But I'm excited. I got a lot of stuff on the plate. That should be pretty cool.
[00:05:44] Speaker C: That's great. We're so excited to have you here in the voting booth with, with us today. You picked a very interesting, unusual topic. We had a little trouble making this one work at first, but I think you'll be pleased with what we did with it.
[00:05:57] Speaker B: I've been intrigued. I've been very curious what you came up with.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: Winks to the camera.
[00:06:04] Speaker C: Before. Before we get too into that, though, I really am curious to hear more about your love of Taskmaster. This is a very curious show. I haven't seen much of it yet. I've only watched a little.
I really didn't know much about it before you brought it up.
And I have to be honest, where I kind of want to start this. And I don't mean this as an insult, but more as a fascination.
[00:06:29] Speaker A: That's fine.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: I can take it as both.
[00:06:31] Speaker C: No, it's not an insult, truly.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: No.
[00:06:33] Speaker C: It's watching. Watching a couple episodes of this, I. I enjoyed it and I was quite fascinated. But I was also like, how is this a long running show? Like, it has the vibe of a show that gets canceled after like two seasons.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: It's not just long running. It's international. I mean, there is pretty much almost every mate. Every country has had one. America had a failed one briefly, but like the Australian, New Zealand ones, they're fantastic. I watched.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: Okay, I want to ask the question, as an insult, how is this running so long? How. Are you kidding me?
[00:07:09] Speaker B: British people just like this.
[00:07:11] Speaker C: I love. I love quirky game shows that get canceled. To be clear.
[00:07:16] Speaker D: Like, you gotta really think about. Go ahead.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: British panel show. Is it. I mean, it is unique in its.
[00:07:23] Speaker D: Way, but I think that it's worth thinking about the fact that England is a smaller country in terms of location.
If you were to think about, like, in a city or a state, there's probably something that's like Taskmaster, literally.
[00:07:39] Speaker B: One of the popular YouTube spin offs is Taskmaster Minnesota. It's not an official affiliate, but it's just a bunch of comedians from Minnesota that got together and made their own.
[00:07:48] Speaker D: Version of it in the United States. There are probably a lot of things that are like this.
[00:07:53] Speaker B: There's a drag.
[00:07:55] Speaker D: It's hard to imagine it being a national level hit. But if you're in England and it's geographically less location, of course there. There's something like Taskmaster. And of course it's.
[00:08:07] Speaker B: And it's almost. It's kind of weird to come from it from a non British perspective because, like, if there was. You got a picture. If there was like an American version that had literally the. It was on, you know, a major network. It was on NBC and it had like the equivalence of Stephen Colbert or Bill Bur, you know, real names. Like, it probably hold a lot more appeal to west, you know, western. Not that England's not western, but to American audiences. Like I said, they tried an American version that just bombed terribly. It was on Comedy Central. They cut it all to hell. They changed the format. They had Lisa Lampanelli on it. It was a death sent weapons. But if they actually, if it was run to that same level, I think it could really, you know, accomplish something. Even this latest season that's airing right now has Jason Manzoukas on it. There's attempts to kind of like bring it around.
[00:08:53] Speaker C: As soon as I saw Jason Manzukas, I was like, oh, I've got to learn about Taskmaster. And there's episodes with Jason Manzoukas. I know what I'm doing.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: Yeah. He's bringing a lot of eyes over to it and he's fantastic in it. He's an old time. He's a longtime fan of the show and he just, he gets the energy of. It's adults at play.
It's non serious. It's low stakes. It's just watching funny people do dumb stuff and I don't know, you can fall in love with the contestants. And I genuinely laugh my ass off almost every episode. So insult take.
[00:09:24] Speaker A: Okay, so it's less of. It's more of a slice of life game show. It's more of a slice of life game show.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: Yeah, very much so.
[00:09:32] Speaker C: That makes sense. It's. It's really. Again, it's not an insult. It's just a. I was just like, like I was saying earlier, I love a lot of game shows that like run for like one or two seasons and just have such a crazy concept that there's just no way that it's like actually a sustainable idea. But like, for that brief moment, it's just like a A glorious. You know, so it's the candle that.
[00:09:57] Speaker B: Burns twice as bright, half as long kind of thing.
[00:09:59] Speaker C: Right. But Taskmaster is kind of amazing to me because it's like.
[00:10:02] Speaker B: It's an institution.
[00:10:04] Speaker C: It's burning that bright in some ways, but it's not burning out. Like, it's.
It's just. It's fascinating to me that it is an institution. It's a really. What makes you, like, what. What. What brought you into it?
[00:10:18] Speaker B: I'm a fan of British television. I've always liked British comedy. I loved Peep show back in the day, in Betweeners, all the stuff that is unfortunately affiliated with Grand Line Ham, or however you say his name. I grew up watching that stuff.
And.
[00:10:34] Speaker C: Yeah, Lyman.
[00:10:35] Speaker B: Is it Lyon? Is it Lion Ham? Because that's a terrible.
[00:10:39] Speaker C: I think it's L. Ham, but we're going with him.
[00:10:43] Speaker A: Everybody calls him Glennar.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: Glennar. Yeah. I was gonna say.
[00:10:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:47] Speaker B: And, you know, back in the day, I'd ca. And I just download shows that were different than what was on American television. I watched a lot of Japanese stuff too. It's just nice to kind of have something different growing up. But yeah, with Taskmaster during the Pandemic, I started seeing clips of it showing up on my TikTok algorithm because I watch a lot of comedy stuff and saw comedians I knew from watching those old shows and decided to look it up and finding that the entire run in the US at least is up for free on YouTube, like, all right, this is something I can just kind of throw on and get into. And I found there's great communities with it, people that really love it, and I've just always enjoyed it. Like I said, it's my background. Before I got on this call, I was finishing up Champions of Champions, number one.
[00:11:32] Speaker C: By the way, thank you for picking a show that is easily accessible on YouTube. Oh, yeah, because that was a really nice.
Sometimes people pick stuff for this podcast that takes me actual effort to find, but in this case, I was just like 34. Paywall taskmaster. And YouTube was like, here you go. Full length episodes from the official chat.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: I was like, oh, whichever season, all the spin offs, all the international versions.
[00:11:58] Speaker A: Which fun fact, voters at home, the very first episode, the movie that we did make, Megapolis, what is is no longer available. It is no longer available for streaming. Sorry if you got into our slate.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Another thing lost to the sands. There's so much stuff too online where it's just. You can't find it anymore. It's that loss of media, really. It is a bummer.
[00:12:22] Speaker C: Yeah, no, it's.
There's gonna be other buzz kills potentially on this show, but we'll do our best to keep it fun. Overall.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: I'll try and provide more buzz.
[00:12:35] Speaker A: And I'll provide the kill.
[00:12:37] Speaker B: We could be a comic book team. Buzz and kill.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:42] Speaker C: So what in particular made you want to talk about Taskmaster on this show?
[00:12:47] Speaker B: Honestly, I was genuinely curious to see what topic you could come up with for it, especially looking through your old episode list.
[00:12:55] Speaker A: But also, what are you talking about? Wings at Kennedy.
[00:13:00] Speaker B: Throw a challenge down. But it's. It's something I know a lot about. I genuinely do. I mean, like I said, my other big things. Pro wrestling. I know you already had a relatively pro wrestling themed episode, even though it wasn't the direct subject of it. It was the comparative one different.
And looking through the list, it didn't seem like anything y' all done before.
[00:13:21] Speaker C: Yeah, that's. That's totally reasonable. So, you know, I did have to think a little bit about what to pair up with Taskmaster. It's kind of a zany show, as we've gotten into. It's. You've got comedians doing wacky things for no real reason.
There are prizes, but you don't really play the. You don't. You don't really go on the show for the prizes. You go on the show basically just to be on the show.
Yeah.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: A lot of it's exposure.
[00:13:51] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Slice of life game show.
[00:13:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:55] Speaker C: It's great exposure for comedians to be on this show. But again, it's like, it's a very wacky show where they're kind of doing absurdist tasks. But in some ways, I mean, people doing absurd tasks is a lot like government. So, you know, there were things to draw upon here. And finally, the obvious choice to me ended up being just stuff that gets stuffed into bills or laws that get left on the books that just don't really make sense and that nobody really reads or pays attention to.
You know, like, for instance, I want to kick off a quick little discussion based on this one.
I read this law this week in Utah, and this is not always strictly enforced, but it is a law that is on the books and used to be strictly enforced. A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife in his presence.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: Like, does she not get charged at all? Then it all falls on him.
[00:14:58] Speaker C: Yeah. No, it's his. It's his. It's his crime.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: It sounds like it's great to be a wife in Utah. Then, honey, we're Going to the bank.
Where is he? But, yeah, I've seen all kinds of those old, like, you know, still technically on the books. I think there is in Michigan, where I'm from, I think there's one now that still exists where it's a woman can't get her hair cut without a man's permission or without her husband's permission. It's just, you know, never gets repealed and just kind of floats around in that weird. I think the big one, I always remember was in Florida where you can't chain your alligator to a parking sign or something like that.
[00:15:39] Speaker A: Do a fire hydrant, I believe.
[00:15:40] Speaker B: A fire hydrant? Yeah.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: Just.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: There's a fire. You don't want them having to fight through it. Get the axes.
[00:15:45] Speaker C: Yeah, they can't be. They can't be trying to battle an alligator. That makes sense.
[00:15:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:50] Speaker B: It is one of those things.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: Respect, fire troops, firefighters.
[00:15:54] Speaker B: But it's one of those things where it's like, you gotta think there's a reason this law happened. There was some incident where somebody tied their alligator to a fire hydrant and a fireman got his leg bit off or something and at least got the ball rolling to even this. Like, it's still, you know, irrelevant, but something occurred.
[00:16:10] Speaker C: Yeah. Especially when it's really specific.
You just feel like there has to be. Like, sometimes when it's a vaguer law, it's like, you know, this might have just been passed by a corporate interest for some goofy reason or whatever. But when it's. When it's very specific, like, okay, something happened. There's a story.
There is a story.
[00:16:29] Speaker B: You can't set a horse on fire between Main Street, 6:00am and 10:00pm no.
[00:16:34] Speaker A: You see, what happened was God realized that in Florida there's a glitch that happens if you attach a alligator to a fire hydrant. So he just patched the glitch with a quick law. Just. Just quick.
[00:16:48] Speaker B: The gator will clip through and then it'll just be falling for all eternity.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: Yeah, he could not solve that one. So he just put in the law.
[00:16:55] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, a lot of them do make some kind of sense. Like, at one time in Wisconsin, margarine was illegal. This has been repealed. But you can kind of see how that would happen, right? Like, oh, for sure.
[00:17:06] Speaker B: It's the interest. Like you were saying, that's butter country.
Butter gas. Like podcast.
[00:17:11] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The mark. It's within the margin of error.
[00:17:17] Speaker C: Yeah. Butterfriends is the. Is the podcast in Wisconsin.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: Maybe that's. I'll just Steal that name for my concept. Butterfriends, the Paranormal podcast.
[00:17:28] Speaker D: Absolutely.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: There's no better friends than Butter Friends.
[00:17:33] Speaker D: Now.
[00:17:34] Speaker A: Maybe the real better friends are inside us the whole time.
[00:17:36] Speaker B: I was gonna say I'm writing this all down, but it's all being recorded anyway.
[00:17:40] Speaker D: Subscribe to the Patreon and you can get episodes of the Spin Off.
[00:17:47] Speaker B: I did not expect this conversation to be making me so hungry, but here we are.
[00:17:51] Speaker C: Yeah, you gotta bring snacks to any podcast with me.
Yeah, especially because I eat snacks during the podcast.
[00:17:58] Speaker A: No, I'm gonna reveal the secret. Kennedy owns Big Snack, and Kennedy makes everybody hungry. So you buy from Big Snack. Spread the word.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: I love your products. I only buy Big Snack.
[00:18:11] Speaker C: God, if only I own Big Snack. If I, if, if there's any, like, big thing you can own, that's like the least evil. Like, like, I feel like there's a lot of things that you. If you're like, I'm. I'm a billionaire in the garment industry. Everyone's like, oh, we know what that means. You know what I mean? But it's like, if you're like, I'm. I'm the, I'm the Cheetos guy. I'm.
[00:18:31] Speaker B: I'm.
[00:18:32] Speaker C: I'm live on a yacht because of Cheetos. I feel like a lot of people are going to be like, I feel like we're going to low key, give this guy a pound.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: The Costco rich guy that everyone loves. It's like, all right, you're rich, but at least you give us a cheap dog.
Keep. Keep that buck 50. You won't burn in the revolution.
[00:18:49] Speaker C: That's right.
On the subject also of, like, laws that are legal but are amusingly, like, contradictory.
At one time in Wyoming, citizens weren't allowed to take showers on Wednesdays, which probably had something to do with some kind of water scarcity issue that they were having at a time or something like that.
Also, this is, I believe, still on the books in New York. You must shower once a year.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: Again, how is that enforced, though? Are you going around sniffing people? They're like, we're at 364 here.
Get the hose.
[00:19:27] Speaker C: I know the enforcement of a lot of these is definitely questionable. And honestly, with some of these, you can kind of tell that they're meant to punish the working class and unhoused. Right? Like, like the must take a shower once a year. How do you really enforce that? Or know that that's true? But you could certainly slap that on somebody if you just felt like the.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: Money to defend themselves. It's just another thing on the back. Yeah, most likely there's a lot of.
[00:19:52] Speaker C: Humor to be had here, but there is insidiousness to some of these goofy laws. I don't want that to be entirely lost.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: It's American law. Insidiousness is built.
[00:20:01] Speaker C: A lot of them are classist or racist or sexist.
And I, I want to address this early on because as we get into the voting portion here of the show, which we're going to start shortly, it's important to keep in mind that for the purposes of our challenges today, any proposed laws that I mention would be universally and strictly enforced across all demographics and no matter where the fuck you are.
[00:20:34] Speaker A: Like, they got the microchip in all of us and they are taking advantage of it. Like, they know when you put your alligator on a fire hydrant, they know.
[00:20:44] Speaker C: Right? Like, it's not something that's only going to affect certain neighborhoods.
This is something that will affect you even if you are in the million dollar tax bracket. If you dare to leave your alligator clip to that fire hydrant for one minute, you're gone. At least here in the world of the most important election of our lives.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: Wait, are you saying that rich people would actually get consequences for their actions? Wow. I love fantasy.
[00:21:12] Speaker C: I know, it's fun. We're going to be actually delving deeply into the realm of fantasy today because it was a little tricky at first to come up with how to relate taskmaster even more directly into topics that we could talk about. But eventually something did kind of come together I've come up with. And I've got something else when we finish these as well. But I don't want to reveal that yet. But I've got five different popular ideas here that people generally like.
I didn't pick them on any real basis. Like, I didn't pick like the five most popular things by some poll or something. I just picked stuff. But I've got five just relatively popular ideas a lot of people like or agree with to some extent.
One of them is arguably a little more spicy, but we'll get to that. One last.
And I, I just kind of want to go through this idea of, okay, so we're going to imagine that we get one of these popular ideas passed, but in a sort of taskmaster like way. There is another part of the law that is passed that again is going to be enforced universally, strictly, and with absolute harshness. Okay. And I'm going to give you three options, and I want everyone to choose from three options. So our first one is going to be.
So Universal Basic Income. This is something that relatively popular idea has some merits and flaws we could get into. You know, is this just papering over capitalism? Would it create more problems in the long run? But a lot of people like this idea, and it's clear that, you know, that in, like, cities and various places where, like, Universal Basic Income programs have been piloted, like, it's generally pretty good for working class people.
A lot of working class people benefit. A lot of unhoused people benefit. A lot of unhoused people that get these kinds of. Get into these kinds of programs become housed within a year.
That's, like, been shown consistently. So Universal Basic Income has a lot of appeal in the United States right now. And it has appeal kind of from the left to the right. You know, it started a little bit more on the left wing, but then you have figures like Andrew Yang who have picked it up, who's more of like a center. Center, right kind of figure.
And. And, you know, there's other people even to the right of him that have kind of talked positively about the idea of ubi. So this has a broad range of appeal in the United States. Definitely has a lot of appeal. So let's imagine that we're going to get Universal Basic Income for the whole United States. Pretty, pretty neat, right?
[00:24:01] Speaker A: With no strings attached. With no strings attached.
[00:24:04] Speaker C: Right, with one string attached.
And you three each have to give me your opinion on which of these strings it should be.
String. Option number one. You may not take pictures of rabbits during the month of June.
Again, strictly and universally enforced, you may not take pictures of rabbits during the month of June, even accidentally.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[00:24:33] Speaker C: String number two. Option number two. Chicken must be eaten with your hands. You cannot use utensils.
It is illegal to use utensils to eat chicken.
Option number three.
It is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
You cannot catch mice without a hunting license. Option number three. Which of these three options would you pick in order to have ubi, Anyone take the floor if you're feeling inspired.
[00:25:09] Speaker B: The punishment.
So is the punishment. If you do this, you lose your ubi.
[00:25:14] Speaker A: You. You go. You go to jail, or everybody loses.
[00:25:18] Speaker C: Jail. You go to jail.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: Oh, that's horrible.
[00:25:22] Speaker A: I mean, to me, the obvious answer, like, I'm gonna go. I'm just gonna say. I'm gonna say number twos, and we.
[00:25:28] Speaker C: Are going to jail, people. For improper mouse get. You get, like $800 a month in the mail free, with no questions or strings attached. But you will go to jail if you hunt a mouse without a license or chicken must be eaten with your hands or you can't take pictures of rabbits in the month of June. Even accidentally.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: I'm leaning towards the rabbit one.
[00:25:52] Speaker A: Honestly, I'm a solid. Chicken has to be eaten with hands.
[00:25:56] Speaker B: But what about like chicken gumbo? You're screwed.
[00:26:00] Speaker C: You can't make chicken gumbo anymore.
[00:26:03] Speaker A: Yeah, that doesn't appetize me.
[00:26:06] Speaker D: Andrew, what's your plan for chicken noodle soup?
[00:26:09] Speaker B: You have to string it through.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: Oh, no, I didn't think this law through. You should vote me in as a politician. Oh, no. Brandon has a good point.
[00:26:18] Speaker B: The rabbit thing, it's easy to avoid. There's just one month. Some people I'm sure will get caught, you know, with like weird JFK pictures where they accidentally get one in the background. But I think by and large having 11 months of rap, the rabbit was the second.
Oh, that's good.
We couldn't take pictures of Bugs Bunny in the wild anymore.
[00:26:37] Speaker D: Yeah, this didn't say real or cartoon rabbit. It said any rabbit. So you can't do any. You can't do any rabbit photography. I really think that the best thing is the mouse hunting license. And I'll tell you why.
Governments are bureaucracies. Once there's so much cash going into, you know, the pockets of people, we're gonna find licensed mouse catchers that are gonna come up through the system and you know, maybe like half a percent of your UBI will go towards like every neighborhood will have a rat catching.
It won't be a big deal. Think about, we used to have people deliver milk. We'll have somebody deliver rats. It won't be so bad.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: Deliver catching.
[00:27:22] Speaker A: They're reverse delivering rats. Reverse delivering rats.
[00:27:28] Speaker B: They wave.
[00:27:29] Speaker A: You know what? I'm changing my vote to rat.
[00:27:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I think I was thinking about jumping around.
[00:27:34] Speaker D: Yeah.
Your money in my drawing.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: That's pretty convincing. I'm not gonna lie.
[00:27:39] Speaker C: Yeah, it's a strong argument. I kind of a similar thought in my head too, so I'm glad that's what you want.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: I like that image of the, the uniformed rat man running through the streets at fan of the neighborhood.
[00:27:52] Speaker C: That part I hadn't thought that far. And that part really self sell it, you know, just.
Okay, so our next one is we're gonna overturn Citizens United.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: With no strings attached.
[00:28:07] Speaker C: Every. Everybody, everybody.
[00:28:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:09] Speaker D: This is great news so far.
[00:28:11] Speaker C: Everybody hates Citizens United.
[00:28:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:28:14] Speaker C: But we can't get rid of it because by its very nature it's the kind of law that you can't get rid of because it's a law that says you can spend money to make sure laws stay on the.
Basically. So it's quite overturning Citizens United, even though it's very popular. It's quite a complicated problem, quite thorny in our current political system.
It arguably shouldn't be, but it is.
But in our. But in this situation, we're overturning it. It's gone, baby. And you've got to pick just one of these three options to go with it.
Either we've overturned Citizens United and it's illegal to fall asleep in public with your shoes on, or a special cleaning ordinance bans homemakers from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in their dwelling. Or a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: Oh, God, that third order will get me.
[00:29:14] Speaker B: So, yeah, I can't do this. Yeah, I'm just voting to imprison myself there. Same with the rug one.
[00:29:20] Speaker D: Most of the time, I'm voting for column three here.
When you really think about it, you know, this second one is just a privacy issue that's gonna attach to so many people.
And what was that first one? I remember it was something. It's illegal.
[00:29:36] Speaker C: Fall asleep in public with your shoes on, buddy.
[00:29:39] Speaker D: I'm sleeping wherever I want. So jacket and shirt has got to be the thing, you know?
Learn to dress, guys. Take the bullet for democracy. You guys are really for the colorblind.
[00:29:52] Speaker A: Like, for me, it's number two. Like, push.
Like.
[00:29:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's not necessary.
[00:29:59] Speaker A: Yeah, like, just clean it off. Like. Yeah, I'm picking number two.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm going, too. I mean, as much as I'm a slob, I've never done that cartoon or more fashionable.
[00:30:10] Speaker A: I mean, branded is technically the most correct, but we're still kind of correct.
[00:30:14] Speaker B: Grant is very correct. We should dress better.
[00:30:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Brandon is the most correct, but we're still kind of correct.
[00:30:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I just. I don't want to hang myself here.
[00:30:22] Speaker C: Hang on. I've got the perfect argument, though. If we're asking corporations and politicians to clean up their act, oh, then we should clean up our living room.
[00:30:34] Speaker B: I am a sucker for a tagline.
[00:30:38] Speaker A: Kennedy, I am voting for Zuron right now.
I'm sure that's related to him.
[00:30:44] Speaker B: I'm very easily swayed. I was gonna say.
[00:30:47] Speaker D: Yeah. Have you. Have you forwarded that to the Klobuchar campaign? They could use you, Kennedy.
[00:30:53] Speaker C: Yeah, I sent a lot of emails to Amy Klobuchar, but.
[00:30:57] Speaker D: They all get.
[00:30:58] Speaker C: Blocked for some reason.
[00:31:00] Speaker A: Contact your representative today, and they'll put you in spam.
[00:31:05] Speaker C: All right, here's one that very popular at the moment, Abolishing ice.
Sure, everybody here feels good about that.
[00:31:13] Speaker A: Yeah, I like my drinks warm, no ice needed.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: I'll do all three if it is. That's the result. Let's go.
[00:31:21] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:31:22] Speaker A: All three. All three.
You're locked in. You're locked in. Into the bad ending.
[00:31:28] Speaker B: I don't have much.
[00:31:29] Speaker C: We're gonna abolish ice, but we have to pick one of these consequences.
All right, it is required to have a permit to wear cosmetics, or it is against the law. Make faces at dogs, or is against the law to honk your horn, quote, unquote, excessively, which can mean as little as twice.
[00:31:56] Speaker A: Okay, so voters are home. I have to make a little disclosure here. So that second law, the make funny faces at dogs one, it turns out I used to live in the city that had it, and I can't choose that one because I've been thinking this entire time, ever since I learned that, did I break that law when I was down there? There was that time with the dogs. Did I break that law? I cannot penis in the main, because I've been thinking, have I actually broken that law when I lived down there?
[00:32:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't want that one because I just. I make funny faces at dogs all the time. It's one of my main activities, actually.
[00:32:30] Speaker C: I have to say, this one is an easy answer for me, but I don't want to sway anyone, so, I.
[00:32:35] Speaker B: Mean, mine's the horn. I hate when people their horns.
[00:32:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:38] Speaker D: What was the first one again?
[00:32:39] Speaker C: The first one is you must have a permit to wear cosmetics.
[00:32:43] Speaker B: Yeah, that just would be very strict.
[00:32:46] Speaker D: The. The just. The issue is, you know, category three. You're just bringing ice back. You're going to have Ice Wheels instead of Hot Wheels.
And the dog thing. The dog thing is another thing that's just going to expand the police state to such an unacceptable degree that the cosmetics thing is a huge bummer. But I'm sure that we could neuter this law.
[00:33:13] Speaker C: That one's gonna expand police state the most.
[00:33:17] Speaker A: And like, now that I'm thinking about it, the third one would have unintended consequences. I attend local protests next to the street all the time, and people are constantly honking their horns excessively in support port.
[00:33:31] Speaker B: I wish I hadn't chosen all three.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: Yeah, this is my big, bad ending.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm mad at myself now.
[00:33:38] Speaker C: I warned you.
Brandon. Did I sway you at all, or are you still Feeling cosmetics.
[00:33:45] Speaker D: No, we're gonna have to fight the cosmetics thing in court and gradually neuter it. The dog and the car horn are both overwhelmingly totalitarian to such a degree that society may collapse right away.
[00:34:00] Speaker C: I agree on the do dogs. I think phases at dogs is too far. But I actually, personally, I'm going with car horn. And the reason why is because, yeah, I'm a classic lean out the window and swear at people kind of person.
You don't need your car horn. Okay. The car horn is optional. All right, You. You have your middle finger. You have the ability to yell. All right? And a single tap on the car horn in, like, on the.
[00:34:31] Speaker B: Yeah, you don't need more than two.
[00:34:33] Speaker C: That should be enough. Probably, right. In most cases, you know, you could hold. You could do a long hole.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: If you're doing three or more honks, you're probably an. Like, you're probably doing that in a rude way. There's not a lot of utility on more than two honks.
Somebody's at the light in front of you. The light turned. They haven't gone one little toot.
That's fair. But if you do it four or five times, you're just being a brick.
[00:34:57] Speaker C: I'm just saying, you know, we just replace that little toot with. You just lean out the window and you go, hey, you gonna turn?
[00:35:07] Speaker B: Are you gonna encourage communication?
[00:35:13] Speaker A: Like, I'm still gonna have to stick with the first one because I do have a positive association with people going across protesting and just Hong Kong honk. I support you, but I feel like.
[00:35:23] Speaker B: All of these could be weaponized in some way. Like, what are the criteria? What's the criteria to get this permit?
[00:35:30] Speaker A: Like, let's be clear. They are. This one is abolishing ice, right? They are abolishing ice and replacing it with another law to create a new way to surveil us. Let's make that clear.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: Yeah, you're going to get all those dog face makers. I'm glad nobody voted for that.
[00:35:45] Speaker D: I actually think, now that we've thought about it, you know, the multiple horn honkers are likely to be overwhelmingly Trump voters.
[00:35:54] Speaker B: Almost always.
[00:35:56] Speaker D: If we're gonna get a group of people with one of these laws, you know, the cosmetics enjoyers, they're on the other side. Let's inconvenience the horn honkers.
[00:36:09] Speaker B: Usually if I got somebody honking at me four or five times and they have a political bumper sticker, you can get.
[00:36:15] Speaker D: Now, the downside of this is. Now the downside is, is just like, you know, your shipments Are not all gonna get there on time. We're gonna lose some truckers right away.
[00:36:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:26] Speaker D: So everybody be ready to take the hit on that one.
[00:36:31] Speaker C: Yeah, we're definitely.
Right away.
[00:36:34] Speaker A: Oh, find the third one, I guess.
[00:36:38] Speaker B: I mean, we don't need consensus.
[00:36:39] Speaker C: I don't require to have consensus, but.
[00:36:43] Speaker B: You know, you can be the.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: You know what? Kennedy. At least I can always tell myself. Wow. Kennedy's putting me through a lot. But at least this isn't the Metal Gear Solid episode.
[00:36:53] Speaker D: Andrew, have you seen the film the Death of Stalin?
[00:36:56] Speaker A: I have not.
[00:36:57] Speaker D: All right, well, we don't have to be unanimous.
[00:37:00] Speaker B: It's on my list. I've heard it's really good.
[00:37:03] Speaker D: It's. It's excellent. Everyone watch the Death of Stalin.
[00:37:06] Speaker A: Wait, first I could do my own thing, but now I have to watch this TV show.
What?
[00:37:11] Speaker B: It's a movie. You got time for a movie?
[00:37:13] Speaker A: This TV show. Show.
[00:37:14] Speaker B: Movie that I haven't watched either.
[00:37:16] Speaker A: Watch it continue. Kennedy, let us progress.
[00:37:20] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:37:21] Speaker A: Not left or right, but forward.
[00:37:23] Speaker C: Yeah, not left, not right, but forward. I so strongly agree.
So here's. Here's. What's next is this one. Everyone's gonna love this. Universal health care, baby. We're getting universal health care.
But there's. There's a twist.
Twist.
[00:37:44] Speaker A: Maybe the real twist was the friends we met along.
[00:37:48] Speaker C: Option number one, it is illegal to.
[00:37:50] Speaker A: Say, oh, boy, oh, no, I can't choose that one. I cannot choose that one. I'm not going to jail.
[00:37:55] Speaker C: Option number two, all bachelors should be called master, not mistress, when addressed by their female counterparts, which will create the most cringe society we have existed in yet.
Option which, by the way, that is based on a real law.
Option number three, it is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep, regardless of what's going on.
[00:38:26] Speaker B: It was very dangerous.
[00:38:28] Speaker D: I think option three is. Well, so if a fireman is at the fire station and is asleep, are they still allowed to ring the alarm?
[00:38:38] Speaker B: No, you can't wake them up at all. Then the fire station goes to jail. They're gonna have to build a really big jail to put the fire station into.
[00:38:44] Speaker A: Yeah, the fire station jail. Now we have to build fire station jails with the fire station. Creates jobs.
I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing at this point.
[00:38:55] Speaker B: Those fire stations have been running amok for too long.
[00:38:59] Speaker D: As long as we can amend this to where if you're a firefighter and they ring a bell at the fire station and you're woken up by that that's your own fault.
[00:39:07] Speaker B: They might just have to schedule it out where it's like, okay, we have a certain amount that are awake at any time and a certain amount that are asleep at any time, and you can't wake the sleeping ones.
[00:39:16] Speaker C: If you fall asleep at the fire station, they have to call an Uber and gently place you into it without waking you.
[00:39:25] Speaker B: Sleep in a fireman go to bed.
[00:39:28] Speaker D: You know, this is a small price to pay, really. So, yeah, it's totally.
[00:39:35] Speaker B: I don't even remember what the other two were.
[00:39:37] Speaker A: Oh, boy.
[00:39:38] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:39:39] Speaker B: Oh, boy.
[00:39:39] Speaker C: That all bachelors must be called master, not Mr.
When addressed by female counterparts.
[00:39:48] Speaker A: Absolutely not.
[00:39:49] Speaker C: Number one is.
Which I really just want an excuse to talk about the fact that that's a law because. Holy.
And number one is it's illegal to say, oh, boy.
[00:40:05] Speaker A: Like, is that a Mickey Mouse fan or something?
[00:40:09] Speaker B: This is the inflection included. It has to be like, oh, boy.
[00:40:17] Speaker C: I'm taking the opportunity, while it's still legal, to say it in the manner which pleases me, to get as many.
[00:40:23] Speaker B: Hours as you can. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
No, I. I think the third one, because a lot of rest, like I said, there's workarounds. They can find ways to, you know, put them in the sleep Uber and make sure shifts are covered so that the fires still are taken care of. Oh, boy.
[00:40:38] Speaker C: That really.
I think, you know, potentially this could imply that we just hire a lot more firefighters. Right?
[00:40:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:46] Speaker C: So that, I mean, kind of.
[00:40:47] Speaker B: Their. Their shift structure already is kind of up as. I mean, they work, like, 24 hours, like, straight. Let them rest.
[00:40:55] Speaker A: And besides, if we don't have enough firefighters, I heard we got this water stuff we can use to attack the fire. So we. There's no law against waking up the water.
[00:41:04] Speaker B: You do. You got to put the lake in jail.
[00:41:07] Speaker A: Lake jail. Lake jail. Lake jail.
[00:41:12] Speaker C: Unrelated in some ways, but related in some ways. There's a fire near where I live right now. Kind of not super near, but we drove kind of near it today, and we could see several aircraft fighting the fire.
Those that fly planes and helicopters to fight fires braver than any troop or cop.
[00:41:37] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:41:38] Speaker C: Like by an extraordinary margin.
Holy.
[00:41:43] Speaker B: Considering how many firefighters are.
[00:41:47] Speaker A: Yeah. There's a woman from my city, May she rest in peace. She went out in glory trying to stop a fire in one of those aircrafts. Like, oh, yeah, Rest in peace, lady.
[00:42:02] Speaker B: Yeah. No, that's actual bravery. Like I said, the prisoners, they're making like a buck 20 an hour to do that.
[00:42:07] Speaker C: Yeah. Crazy.
[00:42:09] Speaker B: And things are just gonna get worse.
[00:42:12] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:42:12] Speaker A: But.
[00:42:13] Speaker C: But we're gonna. We're just gonna let firefighters get their rest. We're just gonna take.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: Yeah, it's not.
[00:42:19] Speaker C: Not being able to say oh, boy is too great of a sacrifice.
[00:42:24] Speaker B: Yeah, universal health care is great.
[00:42:26] Speaker C: But I want to be able to say that the first time I get my free health care. Right.
[00:42:31] Speaker B: Open the card up. Oh, boy. Straight to jail.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: Oh, that's probably.
That's how they want to get you.
Yeah.
[00:42:46] Speaker B: We gave you universal healthcare. You just couldn't follow the rules. Sorry.
[00:42:49] Speaker C: Shouldn't have been so excited about.
[00:42:51] Speaker A: Oh, man.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: He could have said that.
[00:42:56] Speaker C: Okay, this is the spiciest one.
All right, this one is a little spicy because this. I said these were all popular, but this one is a little bit. A little bit on spicy side. But we're gonna abolish the fucking Senate. All right, it's happening.
[00:43:16] Speaker B: Okay, all three again.
[00:43:18] Speaker A: No, please stop doing that.
Please stop doing that.
[00:43:24] Speaker B: I retract.
[00:43:26] Speaker C: Okay, here's the options for abolish the Senate. Number one, you may not run out of gas. Illegal. Now.
Number two, after 3am you have to send a rocket signal in the air after every mile you drive. Number three, horses have to wear pants.
[00:43:46] Speaker A: Okay, so the first one, when I was being taught how to drive, it was a complete dumpster of a vehicle in the fuel gauge didn't work properly, and it required communication between the two people who owned it. And I still remember, when trying to drive, getting the sudden sensation of the vehicle running out of fuel. Terrifying.
[00:44:11] Speaker B: Keep track of the mileage thing. Like the. Oh, it's been 50 miles.
[00:44:14] Speaker A: Scared the shit out of me because they did not. He did not tell her that he used the car. And so I'd go to jail for that.
Yeah, pants on horses is fun.
[00:44:25] Speaker B: That's whimsical.
[00:44:26] Speaker A: Pants on horses is funny.
[00:44:28] Speaker B: Yeah, we all need some whimsy.
The first one. Yeah. It kind of punishes poor people a lot. And people who are yours.
[00:44:34] Speaker A: Wait, are you saying they would put in a law that punishes poor people?
[00:44:39] Speaker B: So that's true. Gonna be out of character for America.
Well, I guess if you can't afford horse pants, you're just as screwed.
[00:44:49] Speaker A: Well, you can afford a horse.
[00:44:51] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, if you can afford a horse. And that's just what I was gonna say. If you're gonna afford a horse, you can afford pants.
[00:44:57] Speaker A: Now, the only question is, is how would a horse wear pants? Because, like, it could be if you don't do it the right way, it doesn't count all four.
[00:45:09] Speaker B: Or the back half.
[00:45:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:45:10] Speaker B: Oh, what's the butthole situation? Is it sticking out?
[00:45:15] Speaker C: I think the main goal of putting pants on a horse is to cover the butthole.
[00:45:19] Speaker B: Is it gonna have like a flap situation?
[00:45:21] Speaker C: Then we're gonna create a horse friendly zipper. Don't worry about it. NASA's on.
[00:45:26] Speaker A: You know, if you.
[00:45:27] Speaker B: I saw. That's all I'm worried about.
[00:45:30] Speaker D: I really think for this horse thing, you guys really need a wide variety of perspectives. If you guys were able to get a group of a couple of people from each of the states to talk about horses, they could probably come to a great agreement on this issue.
[00:45:43] Speaker A: Wait a second. The problem is there's a problem with that. A couple of people from each state. That's called the Senate, which we're trying to abolish.
[00:45:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I was just say, are we going to replace. Replace the Senate with the horse people?
[00:45:57] Speaker C: Wait, what if we were like, do.
[00:45:58] Speaker B: You vote yay or nay?
[00:46:02] Speaker D: No idea what you're talking about.
[00:46:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm going horse pants so far. I just. I like the image.
[00:46:10] Speaker C: I. I have to say, I'm kind. Although I do like the whimsy of horse pants. I'm kind of in favor of. After 3am you have to send up a flare in the air for every mile you drive.
[00:46:22] Speaker B: You know, and that would make jobs for the firefighters who are well rested now.
But you can have so many drunk people at 3am driving home in the woods, launching flares up above dry terrain. You're. You're already almost on fire. Kennedy, you're encouraging more of that.
[00:46:41] Speaker C: It's practical.
[00:46:49] Speaker A: Lucy Kennedy, do you like fire?
[00:46:53] Speaker C: I just want to buy a flare gun.
[00:46:55] Speaker B: I think they are fun. There's no denying launching one of those up in the air.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. They've got a lot of flair to them.
[00:47:02] Speaker C: Excuse me, I'm gonna need you to shut the up with that.
[00:47:07] Speaker A: You know what? You're out of line. Except you're not out of line. I'm out of line. You're right.
[00:47:13] Speaker C: All right. Yeah, we're gonna abolish the Senate and horses have to wear pants. And we have a special council of people from every step. A couple of people from every state that own horses that make special.
[00:47:25] Speaker A: That's called. We just made a new Senate. We just made a new Senate. We made a new Senate.
This is. I know this is how the law works, but we just.
[00:47:37] Speaker B: We got horse pants, which. That's really the win.
Also. We're willing to get the Senate back.
[00:47:43] Speaker C: For horse Paintings ensured that all senators have to be horse owners now, which will have interesting implications to be sure.
[00:47:53] Speaker B: I think. I mean, we're probably already pretty close to that anyway. I think most of them will have at least a horse.
[00:47:59] Speaker C: Most. I would say all of them at least could have a horse, probably.
[00:48:03] Speaker B: Yeah. I think better way to put it, they're all in the horse owning class.
[00:48:07] Speaker A: They need to get off their high horse.
[00:48:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Bernie rides around shirtless on a mustang all day. I bet just across Vermont, the wind where his hair used to be.
[00:48:16] Speaker C: John Fetterman rides around on the tiniest.
[00:48:18] Speaker A: Horse you've ever seen.
[00:48:20] Speaker B: No, it's like the little horse from Phil Dooney Tuesday.
Oh, the saddest little look on his face.
[00:48:31] Speaker A: We need somebody to draw the horse is like, kill me.
[00:48:33] Speaker B: And Jeff Ironman's like, yeah, me too.
[00:48:35] Speaker A: We need somebody to try.
[00:48:40] Speaker C: So thinking back to taskmaster, you know, I. I thought a lot about trying to imagine politicians doing task mastery things, but the thing is, is it just didn't seem that ridiculous because politicians already do the stupidest stuff ever. Like, the kente cloth thing, you know, is like, that's.
That's crazier than anything I would ever ask any of them to do. Right.
[00:49:07] Speaker B: You know, and like, I think there have actually been some politicians on taskmaster. They do a show called New Year's Treat every year where it's a show that isn't comedians. It's just other celebrities from British culture, like royals, news anchors, authors, stuff like that. I feel like there have been like, that those guys show up a lot more in kind of stupid stuff over there.
[00:49:30] Speaker C: So I wanted to ask a couple of questions about politicians doing normal things because I think, again, like, imagining politicians doing zany stuff is pretty easy, but it's a lot harder to imagine them just, like, acting like a human being in a lot of cases. Right.
So we're gonna kick this off with, I don't know, this is kind of, I guess, a. Whatever it is. I don't know.
We're gonna kick this off with whatever it is.
Could you think that Ivanka Trump or Chelsea Clinton could get through a huge pile of dirty laundry better?
[00:50:12] Speaker D: Yeah, tough, tough question.
[00:50:14] Speaker B: I mean, my guns are healthy, but I don't really know why they all. They probably both come from a similar place of privilege, but it's complicated for.
[00:50:23] Speaker C: Me because I feel like.
Go ahead, Brandon.
[00:50:26] Speaker D: Actually, I have to assume that Chelsea would have been shown folding clothes as some sort of bonding with a lower class person.
[00:50:36] Speaker B: Well, that's. I could see Hillary Being like, no, you need to learn how to do this.
[00:50:41] Speaker D: You know, they're on a trip to India, and they meet someone, and then they're like. And, you know, one thing that they do out here is full clothes.
And then one of the Indian people, like.
[00:50:55] Speaker A: Go, fold clothes. Yeah.
[00:50:57] Speaker B: The Trump family, though, would actually, like, look down on you for doing it. Would be scorned. Like, you had. You folded your own clothes. What's wrong with you?
[00:51:04] Speaker D: Yeah. So this seems a little bit weird, but I just assume that also, probably both of them, like, realistically do full clothes when they're alone.
[00:51:19] Speaker B: Oh. Probably in a hotel room or something like that. But by and large, out of the two of them, Chelsea seems like the more likely to get her hands dirty in some Indian folding teaching journey.
[00:51:32] Speaker A: Yeah, that was so cringe. You have to be right. Like, the Clint would absolutely do that.
[00:51:39] Speaker B: Hillary just standing behind her, nodding approvingly like, yeah, yeah.
[00:51:42] Speaker D: She was in a movie like the Blind side Died, except with laundry.
[00:51:48] Speaker A: He knew how to fold laundry the whole time.
[00:51:50] Speaker B: Why'd they act like he didn't?
[00:51:52] Speaker C: I. I am quite compelled by this. The only thing I will say as a possible, you know, counterpoint is just how. How misogynistic the Trumps are.
Oh, that's like, oh, you better. You better learn some wife skills, because that's all you're good for, you know, like. Like, like. But I still think. I think. I still think that's for other people's kids.
[00:52:16] Speaker B: Yeah. It's more like a theoretical thing, like, yeah, women should do this, but not you.
[00:52:20] Speaker C: I still think Chelsea Clinton's India journey, learning to do laundries.
[00:52:26] Speaker B: Like, women should do the laundry, but it should be our women servants doing it.
I'm saying the Trumps are safe.
[00:52:32] Speaker C: Yeah. So, no, y' all are, right.
[00:52:35] Speaker B: You're gonna learn.
[00:52:36] Speaker D: You're gonna learn something about clips out of context.
[00:52:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:40] Speaker B: Please don't.
[00:52:43] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it was fun before I got here.
[00:52:45] Speaker C: Podcaster Now.
[00:52:48] Speaker A: Now this is podcasting.
[00:52:51] Speaker C: Okay, what about. Do you think.
Which one of them do you think could better change a tire? Are we still giving it to Chelsea?
I'm curious.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: Yeah, it's not so much that I really think Chelsea could that much. It's just. I think, is it Ivana or Ivanka I was mixing up? I think she could just that much less like, I think Chelsea. It's like, a 5% chance. Ivanka, I think, is point zero. Point one. Not that I think either of them are that inclined. Just out of the two, Chelsea strikes me as mildly more down to earth.
[00:53:27] Speaker C: I don't know though. She is pretty.
[00:53:29] Speaker A: What about, what about the tire changing course in India?
[00:53:38] Speaker B: She had to carry the tire up.
[00:53:39] Speaker C: The mountain for it's a very spiritual journey.
[00:53:43] Speaker D: I, I, I think that maybe Chelsea would, would I just, I guess both of these were just giving it to Chelsea on. She may have a little more intellectual curiosity. Like, I feel like a Chelsea. If Chelsea was stranded in New York and had a flat tire, she would probably look up a YouTube.
[00:54:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:54:07] Speaker B: She give it a go.
[00:54:07] Speaker A: You know, Mr. Beast, how to change 500 tires.
[00:54:14] Speaker B: V is gonna have like a tow line of other cars behind her just in case anyway, to change it for like Chelsea. I could see having like a Mazda or something because it's down to earth and like, oh, I tried it just didn't work.
[00:54:26] Speaker D: First of all, I, I kind of feel like Ivanka would refuse to do it on principle. She would be like, can I just, can someone bring me another car?
[00:54:35] Speaker B: Yeah, just give me a new car.
Just leave that one and bring me a new one.
[00:54:40] Speaker C: Yeah, if a tire goes bad, the car is done.
[00:54:45] Speaker B: Yeah, that's only another 80 grand for a new one.
[00:54:49] Speaker A: Hey, how'd you get your new car?
Oh, oh, Ivanka. The tire blew off when Ivanka had it and she just gave it away to me.
[00:54:57] Speaker B: There's a trail of Cadillacs behind her every five miles. Something went wrong. Just keep on going down the road.
[00:55:04] Speaker C: Okay. Do you think Elon Musk or Stephen Miller could better operate a chainsaw in an actual environment of cutting down a 30 foot tall Elm tree that's encroaching. Searching on the neighbor's property?
[00:55:19] Speaker B: I, you know, I feel like intoxication is something we're going to have to take into account here. Elon's probably up at any given time. I just imagine at this point.
[00:55:28] Speaker D: How big is this Tree?
[00:55:30] Speaker C: Is a 30 foot tall elm tree?
[00:55:32] Speaker B: Oh, I think they're both dead.
[00:55:34] Speaker D: I don't, I just don't think it's even possible for Miller to do it.
[00:55:39] Speaker B: He is, he does have noodle art.
[00:55:40] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:55:40] Speaker D: Like, I think he'd just get exhausted.
[00:55:43] Speaker C: On the one hand, the intoxication could be against Elon, but on the other hand, maybe it would be to his favor.
[00:55:49] Speaker D: Right.
[00:55:49] Speaker C: Maybe just be like it, like, you know, whereas, but then I could see.
[00:55:53] Speaker B: Stephen Miller's zeroing in and just being like, I picture an immigrant child and.
[00:55:56] Speaker D: Just going, I, I, I actually think Elon would, would call a friend. I think that intellectual curiosity is, is striking. Again, I think he'd ask Two or three people. Like trusted employees. Hey, how do I cut this down? You're supposed to have answers.
[00:56:17] Speaker B: He would hire two other people and then take credit himself.
[00:56:20] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. Elon, would I cut that tree down?
Yeah.
[00:56:25] Speaker B: It's like you were sitting in Austin while the two other guys did it.
[00:56:29] Speaker A: Here's the important question. What meme would he awkwardly reference while doing it?
[00:56:37] Speaker B: That isn't important.
[00:56:38] Speaker D: Something from the advice animals era, for sure.
[00:56:40] Speaker C: He would definitely say something about how he's got wood.
[00:56:45] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah.
[00:56:50] Speaker B: Wear, like, one of those old big, deep Johnson shirts or something and try and bring those back.
[00:56:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:56:55] Speaker B: But, yeah, I think they'd both die.
[00:56:58] Speaker A: Happy future. We're back on the good ending. We're back to the good ending.
You unlocked yourself in the vat ending.
[00:57:05] Speaker B: Both of them. I see him just, like, taking the saw, and the second it hits, it bounces off and flies back and catches them in the forehead.
[00:57:12] Speaker C: All right, which member of Congress do you think would do the best job of washing a car with no special equipment, with just a hose and a bucket and a sponge?
[00:57:25] Speaker B: I mean, I hate him, but Fetterman, he's got the reach. You could just. Just stand on. Stand above and hit everything if you got the re.
Pure physicality.
[00:57:36] Speaker C: I don't think he'd be intimidated by the task. Like, I don't. Again, I don't care for the guy.
[00:57:41] Speaker B: Places blue collar enough that I'm sure he'd be like, yeah, why not? I'm trying to think who else would even really try?
[00:57:47] Speaker C: I could see Bernard forget. There's just.
[00:57:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:50] Speaker C: Rolling up his sleeves.
[00:57:52] Speaker B: Who is it?
[00:57:53] Speaker C: Bernard Sanders.
[00:57:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, Bernie. I just.
[00:57:56] Speaker D: The. The obvious answer, and it's not Bernie, because Bernie. And he would laugh at it, but he'd get tired. Like, a few minutes in, he'd start filibustering during the scrubbing. People would play along, hand it off.
[00:58:11] Speaker C: Somebody else after a long speech.
[00:58:13] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bernie's not gonna really tough it out.
[00:58:16] Speaker B: Once again, asking you to watch this car for me, please.
[00:58:19] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:58:20] Speaker D: I think that your winner is.
Well, I guess John Tester is no longer in the Senate. He can't even be the guy to do this. What about Gallagher?
[00:58:33] Speaker C: Any.
[00:58:34] Speaker D: Almost any combat veteran should be able to clean up a car.
[00:58:39] Speaker B: I think he could just pick it up and dunk it into a river or something.
[00:58:43] Speaker D: What about.
I guess JD Vance doesn't count anymore. He's a vice president and not a conference member.
[00:58:49] Speaker B: He does. I don't feel like he's washed a car in his life.
[00:58:51] Speaker C: JD Vans can't wash a car.
[00:58:53] Speaker D: He must have. They must have made him wash a car in the Marines. He wasn't doing any real work.
[00:58:59] Speaker B: No, true.
[00:59:01] Speaker C: No, they had him filling out spreadsheets.
[00:59:04] Speaker B: Yeah, he was a. Yeah, he was a, like, newspaper man.
[00:59:07] Speaker C: He was a spreadsheet guy. I. I knew a guy who was a really annoying dude who joined the Air Force that, like, all he did was like, stand around in bases with clipboards.
When planes would come in, he just check boxes on a clipboard. Like, that's J.D. vance.
[00:59:30] Speaker D: It's too much of an obvious answer. But of course, Cory Booker would clean the car.
[00:59:37] Speaker C: That's the strong Cory Booker especially.
It's like vegan car wash against racism.
[00:59:45] Speaker A: And then he would try to talk about it later.
[00:59:50] Speaker C: No animals were harmed at this car.
[00:59:53] Speaker B: Wash.
Yeah, you usually use the soap made from boiled snakes, but we didn't this time.
[01:00:00] Speaker A: Conversely, Susan Collins would never wash the car, but she would be deeply concerned that it was dirty.
[01:00:08] Speaker D: There are, there are probably a lot of random Republican backbenchers name like John Butts that are like, you know, Congressman Butts from Indiana's third district.
[01:00:21] Speaker B: I wash the hell out of them.
[01:00:24] Speaker D: Wash the hell. Yeah, yeah, it's probably like 25.
[01:00:27] Speaker B: You got mud on your table for Butts.
[01:00:31] Speaker D: Yeah, there's probably 25 of those guys in Congress and we just don't know. I mean, I got a rich McCormick and there's lots of those guys.
[01:00:38] Speaker C: On that subject, we forgot about the Democrats own congressman, but that's Tim Walls.
[01:00:45] Speaker A: I thought you think of Tim Waltz. I thought you said Senate. I thought you said.
[01:00:49] Speaker B: Yeah, he's the governor.
[01:00:50] Speaker C: Oh, that's right.
[01:00:51] Speaker D: Yeah. Walls is ineligible, but yeah, obviously Tim.
[01:00:54] Speaker A: Waltz would just waltz in there.
[01:00:57] Speaker C: If we were. If we were talking governors.
[01:01:00] Speaker B: Every weekend he is out in his driveway with like Daisy Duke cutoffs, a boombox, and he is hosing down his own car. And it's the highlight of his week, I guarantee it.
[01:01:09] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:01:11] Speaker B: He's got the classic rock station on. He's maybe drank one to two beers.
[01:01:15] Speaker C: It's the drink one before going out there. And he's gonna drink wine while washing the car.
[01:01:21] Speaker B: Yeah, the first one's called pregaming.
[01:01:23] Speaker D: Yeah, is.
[01:01:24] Speaker B: Is.
[01:01:25] Speaker D: Yeah, go ahead.
[01:01:26] Speaker C: There you go. I was just laughing.
[01:01:28] Speaker D: No, Mary Patola is no longer an option. Is she? No, she's still in the. Yeah.
[01:01:35] Speaker A: Nope, she.
She barely lost.
The question is, is she going to run for governor or Senate seat?
[01:01:46] Speaker D: All right, let's move on.
[01:01:48] Speaker B: I have no idea who that is. I'm being honest.
[01:01:51] Speaker A: Alaska's former Democratic House representative.
[01:01:57] Speaker D: Previous episode.
[01:01:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[01:02:00] Speaker D: You may have seen this in.
[01:02:02] Speaker B: See, I know my Democratic Alaskan senator so well.
[01:02:06] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:02:08] Speaker C: Editor, editor, Insert. Insert the episode number later.
Okay, last question of the, of the episode. And thank you so much everyone for bearing with me here to the end.
This has been a riot, but could.
[01:02:27] Speaker A: Did you just call for a riot?
[01:02:31] Speaker B: Quick, Is your horse wearing pants?
[01:02:33] Speaker C: Yeah, it depends on if the horse is wearing pants. I strongly agree.
Could Donald Trump balance the checkbook of a $35,000 a year income household if it meant he would stay out of prison for sure, forever. But otherwise, if he doesn't do this, he's going to jail. It's, it's an either or situation here.
[01:02:58] Speaker D: Does, does the household that he balances the checks for do those. Check does, does this, do these books have to be completely legal?
[01:03:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Does it gotta be accurate?
[01:03:09] Speaker C: They've got to be relatively legal. I mean, in the sense of like, function. If he comes up with a really compelling, small, realistic, small cash side. Hustle, hustle.
And he says, like, look, this, this 500 bucks, under the month, under the table every month. No big whoop. If you can really convince me that Trump has that.
[01:03:33] Speaker A: Sure.
[01:03:33] Speaker B: But this is like a budget that normal people.
[01:03:35] Speaker C: He's never been good at small time schemes. He's only ever done big time schemes in his whole life. So I'm not entirely convinced that he has the capability to pull that off. What word is.
[01:03:47] Speaker A: Yeah, no, he's gotta be big. Like his ego demands he gets big and flashy.
[01:03:52] Speaker B: Yeah, it's kind of like the change in a tire thing again. Like, it's just something. I don't know if it would have ever even come into his purview in his life.
[01:03:57] Speaker D: Are the, is the family allowed to help him?
[01:04:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Does he get it? Is it just.
[01:04:03] Speaker C: No, he's on his own.
[01:04:04] Speaker A: I don't think.
The only reason why I think he can do it is because if it means he goes to jail, I don't think he's ever going to see consequences. So, like, it's kind of a paradox. Like Trump's never going to get to jail and see consequences for his actions. But how can he balance the checkbook?
[01:04:22] Speaker B: I almost maybe, like, maybe 10 years ago he could have done it, like just for, you know, basic common sense stuff. I mean, because he's evil, but I don't think he's the dumbest human being that ever existed. I think, you know.
[01:04:34] Speaker A: Yeah. That's Elon Musk.
[01:04:35] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. I don't think Elon could do it. You know, I have.
[01:04:38] Speaker D: No, no.
[01:04:39] Speaker C: Elon absolutely is failing this challenge.
[01:04:42] Speaker B: Yeah. But I think Trump today, where whatever wear and tear has already been going on, I think it might. I think he might end up in the slammer if it was possible for him to actually end up in the slammer.
[01:04:54] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm saying this is shorteners. Trump, like, Trump can't do the test, but Trump's never going to go to jail, so we don't know which happens until Trump is observed.
[01:05:05] Speaker B: The dining principle.
[01:05:07] Speaker A: Okay. That's infinitive.
[01:05:11] Speaker C: Principle.
Don, Don, Don act. Did J. Trump.
[01:05:17] Speaker A: Blink twice if you're okay?
[01:05:20] Speaker C: I'm just calling them.
[01:05:21] Speaker B: Do you smell Toes himself?
[01:05:24] Speaker D: Yeah, I. I don't. I don't think this is a close call.
I don't think that he pulls it off. Even with the ability to cheat.
[01:05:33] Speaker C: I think he comes somewhat close, but.
[01:05:36] Speaker B: Like, he forgets about, like, utilities or something.
[01:05:40] Speaker C: Whatever is, like, the conclusion of this challenge, you know, like, whatever is like the.
[01:05:45] Speaker D: The.
[01:05:46] Speaker C: The time, the deadline. He's still. He's still like, 10 hours of math away or something.
[01:05:52] Speaker B: Yeah. I think today I. I think it's outside of his grasp. I gotta say. Oh, boy.
[01:05:56] Speaker A: He'll fail the challenge, but he'll pardon himself so he doesn't go to jail. That's the solution.
[01:06:02] Speaker B: In the end, nothing will happen.
[01:06:06] Speaker C: And in the end, we did our part, though. We'll be able to say we did everything we could because we voted our arts out today.
It's talking mangas. Talking to.
That's your new.
[01:06:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:23] Speaker C: This is your new Persona as you go into podcasting now. You're Jeff the Talking Mongoose.
[01:06:30] Speaker B: I've replaced my bong with a microphone. Yeah.
[01:06:32] Speaker C: Jeff the Toking Mongoose. See, I'm too. I'm so high that I can't remember that you're high.
That's the problem that we're having.
[01:06:40] Speaker B: That's my camouflage.
[01:06:43] Speaker C: It's been. It's been great to have you here today.
Remind everybody real quick, where do. What do they want to do? If they thought that you were fun to listen to today and they want to hear you. Your voice again somewhere or see something that you post. What do they do?
[01:06:59] Speaker B: Well, like I said before at the start of the show, I'm very active on Blue Sky. It's kind of my main social media outlet username there is Jeff Tokemongoose. BSKY Social.
Hey, I'm going to be Launching back into the podcast stuff. More and more coming up. Got some wrestling podcasts coming up that are going to be extremely fun and my little solo paranormal podcast. Definitely check me out on Blue sky to kind of see the updates, know where everything's coming with that, particularly with that Paranormal one. I want to do user submissions. I'm going to be setting up an email address. I want people to send me their stories. Have you ever seen anything supernatural? Have you experienced the paranormal? Ghosts, aliens? Mariah Carey? If you've come across some, send it to me. I will read it, I will talk about it and we will have fun laughing about it. Like I said, I'll be coming up on my Blue sky. So keep your eyes, ears and other face holes open.
[01:07:45] Speaker C: Do you think there are really people that see Mariah Carey?
[01:07:47] Speaker B: I hope not.
[01:07:48] Speaker A: How many face holes do you have?
[01:07:51] Speaker B: I'm counting the ones on the back of the head. We're up to like 13 the probings.
[01:07:55] Speaker A: Oh, okay. I'm sorry if I sounded too judgmental. You should probably cancel.
[01:08:00] Speaker C: Yeah, there's the one that the severance chip goes in, right.
[01:08:03] Speaker A: I'm getting.
[01:08:05] Speaker B: I'm getting got for my female servants line earlier. So we're all going down today.
[01:08:10] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, everybody's canceled. Except actually you can't cancel us because we voted so nice suckers.
[01:08:20] Speaker B: We asked the important questions.
[01:08:21] Speaker C: Thanks for voting with us, all of you along there at home voting along with us in your cars, at your workplaces, on the toilet, wherever you are. We appreciate you.
Vote again with us next week and we'll see you.
[01:08:35] Speaker A: Bye forever.
[01:08:40] Speaker C: Thanks for listening.
