Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: There are times in life where we must make brave decisions.
Decisions that can make us feel strange inside afterwards. Decisions that can make us feel small, shrunk down and tiny because of our lack of power. Decisions that can make us feel like we're being controlled by a scientist from the 1800s that maybe doesn't know what he's doing.
I'm of course referring to the need. The.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: The.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: The moral imperative.
[00:00:35] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. What do we got to do for.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: Everyone to fucking vote?
It's time to vote. It is the most important election of our lives.
[00:01:19] Speaker C: With your soul.
Vote with your spirit. You gotta flip your vote on the.
[00:01:24] Speaker A: Scale and see if it's heavier than a feather. That's what we're here to do today.
[00:01:28] Speaker C: Vote with your feather. Vote with your feather.
[00:01:32] Speaker A: My soul would never be lighter than a feather because it's made of steel. Steel's heavier than feathers. So we've got an exciting episode today. We are here joined by fantastic guests. We have Chris the friend, co host of your favorite Bad Movie podcast, and general and Internet hooligan here with us today. Chris, welcome to the voting booth.
[00:01:55] Speaker B: Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited to rock the vote.
[00:02:00] Speaker C: First, I have one question. Before we start, I have one question. Are you a friend or an enemy?
[00:02:05] Speaker B: Well, I mean, that's between me and my polling booth. I think what's more important is that I'm getting out there and voting.
[00:02:14] Speaker C: You caught my voter intimidation.
I'm going to jail now.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Yep. Game, set, match. Anytime you vote, you win.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: Whether or not you're a good or bad person. It's something you privately mark on a piece of paper. And nobody has to know.
[00:02:31] Speaker B: No one can judge me for the evil things that I'm supporting.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: Your husband doesn't have to know. Your wife doesn't have to know.
[00:02:39] Speaker B: No, that's between me and my shriveled soul.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: Between me and my hanging chads.
Chris, thank you so much for coming on the show today. I like to give people a chance to quickly drop a few plugs up front, just in case people don't listen all the way to the end. I understand some podcast listeners are kind of rude like that.
[00:02:58] Speaker C: So I know right home if you leave before the end, Kennedy was not talking about you, just all the other people that do that.
[00:03:08] Speaker B: Yeah, everyone that leaves slightly before you is unacceptable.
[00:03:11] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:03:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, thank you, Kennedy. I am the co host, as you mentioned, of your favorite Bad Movie podcast. It's the only podcast that's brave enough to ask the question this movie's so bad. Why do you like it so much? Every week we bring on different guests to talk about their favorite movie. I do a bunch of research into their background. We really dig into them, find out what's going on under the hood of bad movies. It's something that's always fascinated me for since I was, you know, kid back in Film School. 30 years ago. No, it can't be that long. 20 years ago and you know it. It's been a real pleasure digging into this subject. We've had guests like Gretchen Felker, Merton and Bitter Corella Merrick K all coming on to talk about their favorite bad movies. And Kennedy's going to be coming on soon to talk about Evil Bong.
[00:04:00] Speaker A: That's right.
Excited about that.
[00:04:04] Speaker C: Never forgive you for showing the evil bong.
[00:04:09] Speaker B: I gotta say, I'm curious to hear your take on it. I've seen Evil Bong and I, maybe it's not the best movie to be watching at 10am but it also, it didn't hit me right.
[00:04:19] Speaker C: Don't, don't take my word for it. We were doing a huge evil bong fest in a Discord server and what everybody described to me, the moment I got on was basically when it started getting bad. Like the movie that started off good. Like that's what they told me. I literally only watched all the bad parts.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: So you jumped in around the opening credits?
[00:04:41] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:04:45] Speaker A: Oh, there's a lot I can say about that movie, but I'll save it for your show.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Yes, thank you.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: Instead, we're here to talk about a different series of movies.
A less questionable, but maybe still a little questionable series of movies.
A series that I quite enjoy and that I was actually really excited that you brought up because it kind of came out of left field. The Phantasm film series.
[00:05:14] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:05:15] Speaker A: What, what about this film series was like, I have to bring that to this show?
[00:05:21] Speaker B: Well, when I was asked for something that I was passionate about and something that I'm reasonably knowledgeable about, I thought, you know, I, I, I've always been a horror guy and for a long time I was a big Nightmare on Elm street guy. That was my go to favorite. But in the last decade or so I've really made this, the switch to Phantasm. I really think it is my personal number one horror franchise. And I know spooky season is coming right around the corner. I don't know when this is coming out, but you know, if you're looking for a gap in your horror knowledge, Phantasm is a great hole to Fill it is completely bananas and such a fun little world.
I love it to death.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I agree. And even if you aren't, even if you're like, I don't know if I want to watch all five movies, that's fine. Just watch like one or two. Like there's. You don't have to watch them all to have a good time.
I think you probably will if you, if you start to get hooked. I think you're going to have a hard time not wanting to watch them all. Yes, but you could also. Just for a long time, I'd actually. For a long time, I didn't know it was a series. Like, I had just seen the movie as like a younger person at one time, you know, and so, like, I just liked that movie for a while. Like, I didn't even know there were more. And then later in life I was like, oh, there's more of these. You know, that was like, kind of like a fun discovery, but like, yeah.
[00:06:39] Speaker C: I learned about this franchise the first time for this podcast, I guess. There's this really tall man and that's bad.
[00:06:46] Speaker B: Oh, he's very bad.
[00:06:48] Speaker A: He's very bad.
[00:06:49] Speaker C: We don't like being tall is bad. Moral of Phantasm.
[00:06:53] Speaker B: There are very few likable tall characters. This film might have some problems with height, I think that's fair to say.
And, and it makes sense if you only knew about one and you sort of lost track of it because there was like an 11 year gap between when they made one and when they made two.
So, you know, it's easy to have it sort of fall off the radar and, and not connect as a franchise as a whole. The less. The later ones are much less known. Like, did you guys know that there's a Scanners two and three?
[00:07:24] Speaker A: I did. I actually did because I'm a huge Scanners fan. I'm a huge fucking Scanners fan.
[00:07:30] Speaker B: I'm a big fan of Christian De. I think that the directors of 2 and 3, he's put out some incredible stuff.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: Obviously nothing's as good as the first one, but.
[00:07:41] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: A series is not without merit that.
[00:07:46] Speaker B: That I agree with you 100%.
[00:07:48] Speaker A: But yeah, scanner's the, the first one in particular, though, is like, I like a lot of Cronenberg movies, but that maintains as one of my absolute favorite Cronenberg films because it's just so singular and aggressive and interesting.
[00:08:05] Speaker C: Scanners is where that scene of the person's brain exploding comes from. Okay, let's continue.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: Phantasm. Scanners 2 film series where heads explode.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: Phantasm.
A film series where you're evil if you're tall and you're evil if you're short.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: Yes. Well, unless you're a child only at.
[00:08:30] Speaker A: Only average height, people are considered acceptable.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: It's true. But Mike starts off as a kid, and you get that kid in Part three, the one with the razor blade covered Frisbee. Those. Those short people are totally fine.
[00:08:44] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. You can be a kid. That's a. Kids can't help being short is what. That's my understanding of it.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Yeah. It's. If you're choosing to be short, that's the problem.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: To be short, that's. That's a crime.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: Yeah. That shows a certain moral failing.
[00:09:01] Speaker C: Kennedy, you know how you would have been taller if it wasn't for medical stuff that never got addressed? That was on purpose to keep you from being evil.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: Yeah, because I would have been too tall. I would. I'm 6:1. I'm already pushing it, you know.
[00:09:15] Speaker C: Yeah. If you were 6 3, then. Oh, you would be evil.
[00:09:19] Speaker A: I would definitely be evil. Yeah.
[00:09:21] Speaker B: Yeah. That's crossed the line.
[00:09:23] Speaker A: Yeah. That's in that universe.
Although I have less back problems, which would be nice.
I am evil in that universe. So, you know, I think it's probably for the best, the way it works.
So. Yeah. So it's hard to explain these movies. There's.
He's a mortician, kind of.
He's a dimension traveler.
He makes murder. Jawas.
I don't know what else to call those guys.
[00:09:54] Speaker B: No, I think that's a perfectly apt description. I think for me, I was so.
[00:10:00] Speaker A: Confused the first time I saw this movie, and I was like, there's Jawas in this.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Yeah, no, this is just the same costume. And also, there's a scene that's just lifted from Dune in its entirety. But that's no big deal. Don't sweat it.
[00:10:11] Speaker A: Don't sweat that at all. Okay.
[00:10:14] Speaker C: I just got off the phone with the Pope, and he said none of these words are in the Bible.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: Classic Pope.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: Yeah. No, really, like, that's what's so fun about it, is that in the setup, it feels like, like, four or five other somewhat more generic, less interesting movies that are from the same era. Like, there's a few movies from this era that involve, like, spooky house or funeral home with, like, an old guy at the center of it that's mystical.
He's like a creepy figure pulling the string. Like, there's a few movies that kind of, like, kick off with like a similar start, but then fantasm. Like we said, it's like 2/3 of the way through Phantasm, it's like, actually this movie is 10 Dune.
[00:11:01] Speaker C: Get ready.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: Yeah.
What I like about Phantasm is has the sort of the aesthetic of like, crazy should always be happening. Every scene is going to be just another crazy thing where if you tell somebody about it, you sound like a maniac. Like, oh yeah, they chopped off his finger and the finger, it turned into a worm and then the worm tried to kill them and it turned into a fly and they had to shove the fly in a garbage disposal, you know. And like. Yeah. And that's just one thing that happened. Yeah. Oh, and I think part of that like constant craziness comes from the original cut of Phantasm 1 was three hours long. And when he screened it for audiences, the director, Don Coscarelli, they were all like, he said, I can't do this to people. This is too long of a movie. I don't feel right about a three hour movie. So we cut it down to 90 minutes, but it still had three hours worth of crazy in it.
[00:11:54] Speaker C: And wait, you're telling me back then it used to be if a movie went on for three hours, the director was like, huh, maybe that's too long. That used to happen.
[00:12:03] Speaker B: I know. What I know.
And, and, and, and is it any surprise that this movie resonates with me with that sort of aesthetic philosophy behind it? Yeah, the famous runtime ho who cannot stand anything over 96 minutes.
[00:12:17] Speaker A: I'm with you on this, actually. I'm so glad that we're discussing this because this is, this is a platform. This is something I vote for at every opportunity. And I encourage listeners at home to vote for as well. Is movies are too fucking long.
You movies should be 90 minutes long, two hours if you have a really good idea.
[00:12:40] Speaker C: Look, I have to disclose, I like really long movies. Three hours. And the reason why is because I'm being paid off by Big movie who want the biggest movies possible. Yeah. In fact, Big movie just told me to say they all need to be at least four hours long. Yeah.
[00:12:57] Speaker B: You people make me sick with your long movies.
[00:13:02] Speaker C: You know what?
The next Spider Man Spider Verse is going to be five hours long. Deal with it.
[00:13:08] Speaker B: No intermission.
And when you have to get up and piss, don't worry, it's gonna be during a 20 minute laser beam fight that no one will give a shit about and will no way advance the plot.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that's, that's that's the one thing is, like, people always say, why don't we have intermissions in movies anymore? It's because you don't need them. Because you could just miss large chunks of these three hour films. And it's fine. Like, we don't make. We don't make three hour films with enough substance to justify those three hours. Most of the time. I can name maybe three three hour films that justify their length if I had to, like, even shorter one in.
[00:13:45] Speaker C: My head critique of Black Panther 2 is it's about 20 minutes long and you can point to the exact scenes that were unnecessary. You do not need the CIA guy or whatever he's in. You do not need his story. Like, and that was about 20 minutes long.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: There's plenty that can be cut from, I'm going to say every Marvel movie ever released. And with I guess, the possible exception of the Carnages. But since they're the, the Venoms, but they're in the, the Sony universe, so I don't think that counts.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: Yeah, they're kind of anyway.
[00:14:16] Speaker B: Phantasm.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: Phantasm, yeah. Nice tight. 90 movies in general here across the board.
Love that.
And yeah, it definitely makes a lot of sense that the outlandishness was just ramped up by cutting things way down.
And this is one of those cases where I think definitely it was a great thing that they did that sometimes they cut stuff out of movies that you need. But in this case, Phantasm1 is just a roller coaster. And it's awesome.
[00:14:48] Speaker B: Yeah. It's so nonstop.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: It was a little hard at first to kind of figure out how I was going to tie these movies to politics. Exactly.
I just kept having the thought that this is like an RFK scheme.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: But that didn't seem to have quite enough to it to constitute the whole episode. But then I started to think about how, you know, the tall man, he kind of. He goes from town to town. What we learn over the course of the. Of the movie franchise is that he goes from town to town, like hollowing out these small towns, just slowly destroying them, taking everything of value out of them, sucking up everything he can and then leaving once there's nothing left that's worth having there at all.
[00:15:37] Speaker C: I can't think of anything in real life that that describes.
[00:15:40] Speaker A: Kennedy can't think of anything that that describes in real life.
So I just gave up. I just gave up. And we're going to say a real short one. Thanks, everybody.
[00:15:52] Speaker B: Don't forget to like and subscribe.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: I'm just Kidding. I couldn't. I couldn't. I could never, ever back down from the sacred responsibility of voting. And that was a test. That was a test for all of you.
[00:16:06] Speaker C: I'm going back to voting jail again.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: Second time this episode.
So, you know what did start to kind of bubble up in my mind?
Something else that was created by a scientist from the 1800s.
A ghoulish, weird old man that supposedly has died, but whose shadow still hangs over us.
A guy who went around small towns in, first the south and then across the whole United States and then the world, just fucking destroying the economy.
I'm of course talking about Mr. Sam Walton and his beloved chain of stores, Walmart.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:16:52] Speaker C: Doesn't that.
[00:16:53] Speaker B: I mean, I could definitely see the comparison.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: Walmart's pretty Tall man esque, right?
[00:16:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Those box stores always have really high ceilings. He'd love that.
[00:17:02] Speaker A: He'd love that. Yeah.
[00:17:04] Speaker C: That's why they have the high that they have stuff so high up. It's all man, all people can get stuff, but other people can't.
[00:17:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Whenever there's the balloon that goes all the way up to the top, he's the one they call out to come and get it. You know, it's symbiosis.
[00:17:21] Speaker A: This is going to be kind of the. Not just Walmart, but the Death of Main street episode, basically, you know, Nice. That's what Tall man basically is. A great metaphor for, in my mind is like the way in which, you know, we used to have. And I don't want to over idealize these things, but we used to have like a little bit more of like a dispersed localized economy and a lot of like, small towns and even in big cities to some extent.
And Walmart just gutted those. Those things and left holes in its wake. That then has been made even worse now by things like Amazon, which is removing even having the physical store in your town at all.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:10] Speaker C: Walls are dying.
[00:18:13] Speaker A: So it just kind of feels like, you know, much like how the Tall man is just killing people and turning them into drones and, you know, this whole weird thing, it's like.
I mean, what isn't. Is it the. Isn't an Amazon warehouse like its own mere terror dimension in its own right. In some ways. Like what is so different from. From these movies and what.
[00:18:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:40] Speaker A: And what these corporate ghouls are doing.
[00:18:44] Speaker B: And there's even a line in Phantasm 2 when they're driving through, like on the.
In the wake of the Tall Man's reign of terror and Reg says, you know, some small Towns die a natural death and some are murdered. And you know, that's what's going on.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: Right. Like this is not like something that just happens mysteriously. A lot of times like economists kind of act like, well, we don't know why all the small stores are closing. I guess shoppers aren't shopping the right way anymore.
[00:19:17] Speaker B: Yep, you just can't beat those box prices. The end.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: Yeah. And there's, there's no further looking into it. But you know, much like how the tall man kind of sets up shop in each town, kind of pretending to just be a regular mortician, but then he's doing these shady things behind the scenes, a lot of times there's these deals behind the scenes Walmart's affecting that are shutting out other folks from the competition. Here in New Mexico, the example that always comes to mind for me is that we are one of those states that's really restrictive about liquor licenses.
And Walmart, when they started snatching up all the liquor licenses, caused a number of, caused basically like a shortage of like local bars and liquor stores for a period of time here in the state because like you couldn't get a liquor license for years here. Walmart bought all of them every year.
And so, you know, like they're like, I can remember somebody like, like somebody that I vaguely knew not well, but just like the grapevine, like who was like trying to open a bar in that era. And for some reason here in New Mexico, liquor license, like if you want to open a bar, you want to open like a liqu store, it's the same license. It's really crazy what excuse you're fight, you're fighting for the same license.
[00:20:44] Speaker B: And I guess that does explain why I, I have some in laws that live in Santa Fe and when we go to visit them, they have the biggest liquor stores I've ever seen in that town. And I guess that's why you really need to, if you're going to get your liquor license, you might as well invest in building someplace huge.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Unless you have like an old one from an earlier time or something like that. Or you know, it's like, it's like, yeah, anybody that's buying a liquor license these days, usually it's a big deal.
And you know, a lot of that has to do directly with Walmart. Like not to say that Walmart was the sole cause, but literally I remember the years when the Walmarts were being built here and everyone talking about like, oh, you can't get a liquor license, you know, like it's just.
And it's just because Walmart's got, you know, infinite money compared to any local business. Right?
[00:21:40] Speaker B: Yeah. They're going to be able to get their first crack. They're going to get the best legal team to make sure that they're getting in there, you know, and it's, it's.
[00:21:47] Speaker A: Similar to how there's this problem with the Tall man where no matter how many times Mike, Reggie and associated friends go on yet another road trip and seem to kill the Tall man, it's like the Tall man is like hundreds of years and tens of thousands of little servants ahead of them. Right?
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
Like, yeah, they definitely, they have this air to them that's like, we, we know that we are probably not going to win. We know that we aren't even going to be able to convince anybody else to come and join us in the fight, but we need to keep fighting, you know, and that's, that's the same struggle that, like, leftists are feeling in the real world. You talk to somebody about it, you sound insane, and you can't convince anybody else to come on, and you're probably never going to win, but you got to keep on fighting because that's all you got.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: Yeah, that's all you got. Right.
And, you know, this stuff is always infuriating and, and maddening. And, you know, there's a lot of talk about degrading presidential honors right now for some reason. And. But, no, but, but we got a.
[00:23:01] Speaker B: Team building some great AI videos, though, so don't worry about that.
[00:23:05] Speaker A: Yeah, but did you know that in 1992, President George H.W. bush, the first one, gave Sam Walton the Presidential Medal of Freedom?
[00:23:16] Speaker C: No.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: Wow. I can't say I'm surprised.
[00:23:20] Speaker C: Kennedy, tell me April Fools. Say April Fools right now. This. The audience can't prove this episode wasn't recorded on April, say April Fools right now.
[00:23:33] Speaker B: I mean, he wanted to give him the Presidential Medal of rolling back prices, but Congress wouldn't allow it.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: Congress said no way. Not as long as the Blue Light Special stands. And that's why Sam Walton went on his crusade to kill Kmart after that.
Yeah. And, you know, so I just kind of felt like there, there, there, there were interesting parallels between the idea of this mortician guy who sets up shop in town, seems like he's providing a service, but actually he's slowly bleeding the. The town drive, everything they have.
And, you know, you think about how a big part of why Walmart Walmart was hard to stop was because when it arrived in town, Everyone at first was kind of like, oh, it's great and Right. Especially like, I mean, you know, I grew up pretty poor, working class for the most part.
And so, you know, like, I remember like the first time a Walmart was built in our town and like, you know, folks were flocking to it. Like, hey, we can afford stuff here, right? Like it's, it's seductive. It lures you in with this quality.
And then by the time you realize you're in a trap, you're already. It's already too late. You've been shoved in a barrel full of weird goo and you're gonna get turned into a jawa.
[00:24:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't want to get turned into a jawa.
[00:25:02] Speaker C: I just wanna spend some less on groceries.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: Well, you gotta pay the piper.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: Time for us to step right on up into the voting booth here and consider what it would be like if some phantasm stuff crossed over with our own real world politics a bit more.
Wow. Given, given that there's some parallels here, let's, let's skip the parallel. We said, you know, we don't like a three hour movie, we like a 90 minute movie. So parallel that takes too long to explain.
[00:25:34] Speaker C: Big Podcast has told me I have to make this as long as possible.
[00:25:38] Speaker A: We're gonna mash these two topics up and we're gonna figure out what both of them mean in a much faster time. It is time to vote.
Step on up into the voting booth. Our first.
[00:25:50] Speaker C: You vote.
[00:25:52] Speaker B: I can't wait to Pokemon go to.
[00:25:54] Speaker C: The podcast so we can Pikmin Bloom Democracy.
[00:25:58] Speaker A: I can't wait to Pokemon sleep when we're done recording our first item on the ballot today.
First item on the ballot today is RFK Jr discovers the phantasm Zone.
[00:26:13] Speaker B: Okay, bad, that's already. We're in trouble on that one.
I'm going to vote against that.
[00:26:19] Speaker A: What kind of tax and labor laws are applied to the Phantasm Zone, if any? Or is it a free for all?
[00:26:27] Speaker B: Oh man. Did you hear how the new head of the cdc, the acting head of the CDC is like a libertarian guy that's into seasteading and he also wants to make organ sale legal. Wow.
Yeah, that's all 100% real. I wish that was another delusional thing I was making up. So I'm going to say it's going to be. He's going to make this into his libertarian state.
That's where they're going to be building like your, your Elon Musk industry towns where everybody gets played paid In Xbox, that's going to be the hell dimension. RFK Jr. Is going to help set that one up.
[00:27:03] Speaker C: I can't wait to go to work every day in the Tesla Hyperloop. Hopefully I don't die.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: Yeah, and if you do die, don't worry. They'll bring you back as a dwarf in the hill dimension.
[00:27:12] Speaker C: No, I don't want to be an Elon Musk dwarf.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: Yeah, don't worry. At least you still have a job.
[00:27:18] Speaker A: Feeling this is where we go with this. But my next item on the ballot, you know, might complicate our thoughts a little bit, because what I want to ask us next is in spite of. In spite of the fact that we all agree that the Phantasm Zone would be treated like a.
A playground for billionaires to ruin lives in.
Does the Phantasm Zone still get statehood.
[00:27:44] Speaker B: Before D.C. oh, I'm gonna say they're gonna be hands off. I think they're gonna want to stay a territory like Puerto Rico. I think they're gonna have more of that vibe. They don't want statehood.
[00:27:55] Speaker C: Well, Puerto Rico does want statehood. Well, I see what you're saying.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah. I guess. I hear it's divided. I guess I can't certainly speak on behalf of all Puerto Ricans.
[00:28:05] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's more like American Samoan there, which is a territory that keeps itself separated from America just so they can make sure only Samoans live there.
[00:28:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I think they're going to want American military defense, and I think that's it. Everything else, they're going to want to settle on their own in the hell dimension.
[00:28:26] Speaker A: Okay, fair enough.
[00:28:27] Speaker C: The hell dimension is American Samoa.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:30] Speaker A: What's the citizenship status of murder Jawas? I feel this is especially complicated because they start as US Citizens for sure.
[00:28:38] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, when they were alive, were they born in America?
[00:28:42] Speaker A: I mean, that becomes pretty hard to determine pretty fast.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna. I'm gonna say they're not gonna want them to have rights. I'm gonna say no. I'm gonna say they are not going to be considered full citizens. I think they want to keep citizenship as limited a definition as they can.
[00:28:58] Speaker A: Are they getting. Are they getting partial citizenship like. Like Puerto Rico or.
[00:29:03] Speaker B: I think they'll have a pathway to citizenship.
[00:29:05] Speaker A: A pathway to citizenship. Okay.
[00:29:07] Speaker C: Pathway to citizenship. That will take 10 years if you're lucky. You have to sign out so many hell forums, like, you thought regular forms were bad. Hell forms. Walls. The name's Hell in it. Like, come on.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: But for every like meddling child that interferes with your schemes that you murder, That'll knock a year off the process.
[00:29:30] Speaker C: Okay, good.
[00:29:32] Speaker A: Yeah, that's fair.
That's reasonable. That that counts as good behavior in the hell in the hell zone, right?
[00:29:38] Speaker C: Yeah, that they love killing children counts as good behavior. Kennedy, if you ever run for political office, I am using these sound bites.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: Yeah, take that right out of context. Cut the in the hell zone part right off.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: I mean, by then, we'll just be referring to America as the hell zone. I'm sure that'll just be common parlance.
[00:29:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Shouts out to Arlen Helleson, by the way, sorry that your podcast name is just becoming our lives.
Great show, though. Great show. Loved going on there. Gotta go on again. All right, who's gonna get you your. Your. Your little treats faster? Amazon or the Tall Man's network of murder jawas and little drones and stuff?
[00:30:20] Speaker B: Ooh, ooh. I mean, the Tall man has a great infrastructure, you know what I mean? Like, he's really on the ground.
Whereas Amazon, the struggle that they're having, why they still have to work with the post office, is they don't have that infrastructure. But, yeah, Tall Man's really getting local, hitting all these small towns.
[00:30:40] Speaker A: Tall Man's infrastructure is regularly disrupted by, like, two teens and a dog.
[00:30:46] Speaker B: It's true. It's true. He does have to deal with a meddling ice cream man and lady with a flat top wielding nunchucks every now and then.
[00:30:54] Speaker C: Yeah, but Amazon has to deal with the medicine that is unionization.
[00:31:00] Speaker B: It's true.
[00:31:01] Speaker C: Pesky unions and people trying to get. Let's see here. Oh, those workers trying to get basic human rights. How dare they?
[00:31:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll say that if you are currently within the Tall Man's wake of terror, you can definitely get your treats faster via the murder Jawas. But in general, if you're outside of that service area, you'll probably want to stick to Amazon.
[00:31:23] Speaker A: It's a limited service area, but it's expanding. But it's really good within that service area.
[00:31:29] Speaker C: This is how fascism happens. Oh, sure, there are a bunch of murdered people, but I can get our little treats faster. Let's bring them in.
[00:31:38] Speaker B: Yeah, we all know what side our bread is buttered on.
[00:31:41] Speaker A: It's buttered on the tall side.
[00:31:43] Speaker B: Yeah, it's buttered on the treat side.
[00:31:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:31:47] Speaker A: Spread some treats on my toast. Fuck that butter shit.
Direct.
[00:31:51] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:31:52] Speaker C: Kennedy. Kennedy, on January 5th, I'm going to leave treats out for you to come and collect in celebration of your birthday on January 6th. And for celebration of nothing else.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: Actually, I think you're allowed to celebrate January 6th. In our current political climate, I think that's, that's something you're probably just allowed to do that if you want, you're.
[00:32:14] Speaker B: Probably required to do.
[00:32:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
Thank you, Mr. Trump, for honoring my birthday. Okay. Would the Tall Man's network of little fellas end the gig economy and which is morally worse to exist?
[00:32:32] Speaker B: Ooh. Okay. Okay, so your gig. Well, all of the potential gig employees have been murdered by the Tall man, but also, so have all of your customers. Tall man is really disrupting a lot of industries with this wholesale murder and enslavement.
[00:32:51] Speaker C: Wait a second. You need customers to purchase product?
[00:32:54] Speaker B: Yeah, it's weird.
Yeah, yeah. That's. That, I suppose, is the, the ultimate end game of this metaphor. Yeah, I'm gonna say.
But I will say that Tall man does work with a ruthless efficiency.
Yeah, I'll give this one to the Tall Man.
[00:33:12] Speaker A: And it's, it's, it's morally worse what he does.
[00:33:15] Speaker B: I'm gonna say the murder is technically morally worse. I'm gonna say, as we're probably about six months out from them being about equal.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: Do you feel, do you feel the same?
[00:33:29] Speaker C: I, I, I do feel like murder is technically bad.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: All right, you heard it here, folks.
Chris and Andrew both in favor of the gig economy.
Pretty problematic, if you ask me.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: It's fair enough.
I like labor unions.
Hey.
[00:33:51] Speaker A: We'Ll get to. We'll get to unions.
[00:33:53] Speaker B: Okay. Beautiful.
[00:33:55] Speaker A: Which, which would be more grim?
President Trump's Covid jobs report, which we all remember, or President Tall man's quote unquote, 100% employment, 0% retirement jobs report?
Boy.
[00:34:11] Speaker B: I mean, I feel like if they're being delivered by the two men. I think Trump is funnier than the Tall Man. I will. You know, I hate to have to give it to him, but he is funny.
[00:34:23] Speaker A: The Tall man doesn't say a lot.
[00:34:25] Speaker B: Besides, boy, yeah, the service is about to begin. And yeah, yeah, he's very clipped. So, yeah, I, I think the Tall Man's gonna be a little bit more grim, if grim is our specific metric.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: A lot of openings in the mortician industry under President Tall man, though.
[00:34:43] Speaker B: That is true. That is the growth industry with the.
[00:34:46] Speaker C: 100% death, as opposed to our country right now, where the growth industry is health care for older people.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: Yes. They tend to go hand in hand, those two industries, though, two sides of the same coin.
[00:34:58] Speaker C: Like, that's literally the only jobs growth right now.
[00:35:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:03] Speaker A: Perfect. Good times.
Who do you think would be the more horrifying secretary of health, RFK Jr. Or tall man?
[00:35:14] Speaker B: Well, you know, they both have worms in their brains.
[00:35:16] Speaker A: They do. That's factual.
[00:35:18] Speaker C: I think that's a qualification now.
[00:35:20] Speaker B: Yeah. That is both true and canon, which I. Wow. I had not made that connection to right now.
[00:35:30] Speaker C: Whose brainboard is better? Continue.
[00:35:34] Speaker B: Well, I mean, Tall man is a gold orb and he does have psychic powers and he can give us psychic powers, whereas I feel like RFK is only claiming to be able to give us psychic powers. So, yeah, I feel like Tall Man.
I. I hate to be voting Tall man down the line, but I. That's the way the. The ball has been bouncing.
[00:35:53] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm going with rfk. I actually don't want him to give out psychic powers. Actually, that seems like a very bad idea.
[00:36:02] Speaker A: You know, that's a good point. Maybe. Maybe we're not. Maybe we're not ready for psychic powers. Look at how we're doing.
[00:36:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I'd hate to have my brain be the gun. That's too much responsibility.
[00:36:14] Speaker C: Whoa. What if all of our brains were guns? Then we'd stop all the bad guys.
[00:36:19] Speaker A: Now we're back with Scanners, baby. This is the Scanners episode.
[00:36:27] Speaker C: Scanner. Why, I hardly even know her. Continue.
[00:36:30] Speaker A: Yeah, it's pretty bad either way. I do think maybe Tall man would allow more vaccines.
[00:36:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I mean.
I mean, Tall man does explicitly want us to die. He's really happy when we die. I feel like that is going to be a real problem with him as a Secretary of Health.
[00:36:51] Speaker A: True, but is that so different than what we're dealing.
[00:36:55] Speaker B: That's the thing, you know, it really is.
You're hard to say. Is it better if you explicitly want me to die or you just don't care if I die and you're doing a bunch of shit that will cause me to die anyway.
[00:37:10] Speaker C: Can we get a good person in the position?
In any of these positions?
[00:37:16] Speaker B: God, I love someone even neutral. Jesus.
I guess that's what the Democrats are counting on.
[00:37:22] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. That's exactly the attitude they're counting on.
All right. You find yourself in RFK jr's house. Sorry.
[00:37:31] Speaker B: Okay. Shit.
[00:37:33] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:37:34] Speaker B: It reeks of rotting animal corpses.
[00:37:39] Speaker A: You open a door in the house, trying to find your way out, obviously.
You open a door and you find a room full of barrels. What's in the barrels in RFK jr's house?
[00:37:51] Speaker B: Well, obviously that's going to be a whale's head, small dead bear, any number of pieces of roadkill. I mean, come on.
[00:37:59] Speaker A: That's the Roadkill menagerie.
[00:38:02] Speaker B: Yeah. And he's shrinking them all down to smaller animals that he can enslave. That's why he's been doing it this whole time.
[00:38:08] Speaker A: I'm glad you mentioned that. While I was writing the episode with our editor, we. We. We were kind of chuckling about RFK shrinking down at roadkill.
[00:38:19] Speaker B: Yeah, that's where miniature horses come from.
[00:38:22] Speaker C: My hot take is.
My hot take is those barrels are just loaded with vaccines. He secretly absolutely loves vaccines and he's banning them so he can hoard them all for himself.
[00:38:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Slurping them down.
[00:38:34] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:38:35] Speaker B: Give me my power.
[00:38:36] Speaker C: He actually, he doesn't think they cause autism. He just wants them all for him. Pretty good. Pretty good. You know what? Gotta give him credit. No, I do not have to give RFK credit. No.
Putting myself in voting jail for the third time for briefly voting for him. Just for a second.
I'm turning myself in.
[00:38:56] Speaker A: Yeah, those are all good answers. I think it's probably children's blood.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: Fair enough. Yeah.
[00:39:03] Speaker C: Let's continue.
[00:39:05] Speaker A: Who would you want to lead the effort to unionize the Murder Jawas? It's time. We've got to like the Phantasm Nightmare Hell Zone Skate place has gotten out of hand as we've been describing. All right? We've got to do something. We've got to bring in somebody who can help bring some order to this situation who could possibly lead the labor uprising of the Murder Jawas to victory.
[00:39:36] Speaker B: Well, I think you're gonna need a face on this one. You're gonna want someone that's gonna be good in front of cameras. So I'm going to say you're going to want to go to the head of the screen Actors Guild, Ms. Fran Drescher herself.
I don't think anybody could do a better job. Speaking for these little men, that you.
[00:39:53] Speaker A: Were going to go with President elect Sean Astin, because that's kind of funny when you think about it.
[00:39:58] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Yeah, I forgot that he's. He's moving into the slot.
[00:40:02] Speaker C: I am going for a funny option. He does do some. Has done some unionization stuff, but Adam Condover, AKA the Adam Ruins Everything guy.
[00:40:15] Speaker B: Okay, I could see communicator.
[00:40:18] Speaker A: Well, I got a really good punchy video about why murder Ja was a wrong that would, like, reach Middle America reasonably well.
[00:40:26] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:40:27] Speaker A: Yeah. So, yeah, follow up. What wages and benefits are the Murder Jawas fighting for? What's the. What's the minimum standard Murder Jawas are trying to get? Keep in mind, they're coming from getting paid nothing, just being abused.
[00:40:42] Speaker B: So first of all, I'm going to want to set a minimum height that we can be shrunk down to.
[00:40:49] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
[00:40:52] Speaker B: I think, I think some of us are getting crushed too much and it's not fair.
Obviously you're going to want a robe allowance because that's pretty much it. And I want a clear path to promotion to silver sphere.
[00:41:05] Speaker A: Okay, that's fair. Yeah, I like all that. I think personally I want to add to that. I think that, you know, the murder Jawas get a little bit of the spice, a little bit of you.
[00:41:18] Speaker C: Like if I'm a murdered Jawa that is now expected to deliver little treats, I also want just enough money for a little tree at least once a week. My own little treat.
[00:41:29] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know what they do in their off time or if they get off time, but if they don't get off time, they should be another starting point.
Let's go for instead of 24 hours a day, seven days a week, let's get some weekends in here. That's a classic union.
[00:41:47] Speaker C: Let's go for 20 hours a day, six days a week.
[00:41:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Let's see how things operate at that level. And we'll take it from let's go.
[00:41:56] Speaker C: To hell church on Sundays.
[00:41:58] Speaker A: A man's not going to like any of this.
[00:42:02] Speaker C: Hell church. Hell church.
[00:42:04] Speaker B: Well, he'll have to take it up with Fran, I think.
[00:42:09] Speaker A: Okay.
You can't retire. Sorry.
[00:42:12] Speaker B: Okay, well, yeah.
[00:42:13] Speaker A: Would you rather be a murder jawa or operate a Mechanical Turk robot at Tesla Cafe for the rest of your days?
[00:42:22] Speaker B: Murder jawa. Murder jawa.
Murder jawa.
You know, I get to be outside, I get a sharp uniform. I'm not supporting one of the most evil men on the planet.
It really seems great.
[00:42:36] Speaker A: There might be a little more room for personal self expression as a murder Jawa.
[00:42:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I could wear some flair on my robe.
[00:42:42] Speaker C: I just want to say I had to look it up. I appreciate how we haven't actually said what the murder Jawas are actually called. And I'm not saying we should do that. Go vote our home. You can do your own research. But I like how we've just been calling the murder jawas the whole time.
[00:42:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I think they're officially called just dwarves and I feel like that's. That is less evocative. It does feel less specific and it's a little.
And a little problem.
Possibly. Possibly.
[00:43:09] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:43:09] Speaker A: You know, dwarf is a really tricky term where we've like, we've sort of reclaimed it as a fantasy term societally, but, like, a lot of people still have bad feelings about it, and I think that we should acknowledge and honor that. And it's not. Yeah, I prefer to call them murder Jawas. And, you know, if the film wants to calm that other thing, that's on them.
[00:43:32] Speaker C: How politically correct have you Kennedy calling them murder Jawas?
[00:43:36] Speaker A: But also, the first time I saw this movie, I was, like, pointing at the screen Like Leonardo DiCaprio in that meme going, jawa.
[00:43:43] Speaker B: Yeah, they really lifted that design wholesale from the jawas. Just little guys in brown cowled robes.
[00:43:51] Speaker A: And they even make like, jawa sounds kind of.
[00:43:55] Speaker B: Yeah, they make some little, like, chirpy, chittery stuff.
[00:43:59] Speaker A: Yeah, they're like. They're like.
I'm like, what the fuck? This a Jawa?
And I think, doesn't Dune. Well, this has probably been retconned, but in the old expanded universe, didn't Dune exist in Star Wars? Like, they called it something else, but they had, like, a Dune knockoff planet in the expanded universe.
[00:44:23] Speaker B: I'm not a big enough Star wars guy or Dune guy to be able to answer that question.
[00:44:27] Speaker A: You know what I think? I think at this point in time, given that the. The. The cannon's been retconned and all that I'm just gonna say the answer is yes and disprove me.
[00:44:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
Essentially the same movies. It's fine.
[00:44:42] Speaker C: They both have a lot of sand.
[00:44:44] Speaker A: That thought. I just.
[00:44:45] Speaker C: They both have a lot of sand.
[00:44:47] Speaker B: A lot of sand. A lot of spaceships.
[00:44:49] Speaker C: All right.
[00:44:50] Speaker B: Basically the same movie.
[00:44:51] Speaker A: Basically the same movie.
There's some. Something about destiny and magic powers.
[00:44:57] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Space trades.
[00:45:00] Speaker A: Great.
It all comes down to actually, you know what? Both Dune and Star wars, at the end of the day, are just very long treatises on fucking tariffs and shit like that.
[00:45:12] Speaker C: Yeah, we all laughed at George Lucas when episode one was released. We all were like, oh, come on. The galaxy would not be divided like this because of attacks on trade.
Look who's laughing now. George. George Lucas. If you're listening to this episode, I'm sorry for making fun of you.
[00:45:30] Speaker B: I'm sure listening.
[00:45:33] Speaker C: You probably listen to the Star wars episode too. But also, I'm going to apologize to you forever from now on.
[00:45:38] Speaker B: Well, I know George is just a big fan of mine. He always checks out any place I pop up.
[00:45:43] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, of course.
[00:45:45] Speaker B: Shout out, George.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, George Lucas had relatively prescient politics to some extent, and he doesn't get enough credit for that.
[00:45:55] Speaker B: Yeah. It could be worse.
[00:45:56] Speaker C: He definitely could be a murder Jawa.
[00:45:59] Speaker A: He definitely beats the average center lib. Gavin Newsom voter type.
[00:46:04] Speaker C: Let's move on.
[00:46:08] Speaker B: He at least understood that an empire is a bad thing.
[00:46:14] Speaker A: I always love when conservatives online, like people are like, star wars is about the Vietnam War. And they're like, well then who's the empire thinking about it so much? That's the answer.
That was the answer.
Why?
[00:46:33] Speaker B: Yeah, don't sweat it. It's only. It's not important.
[00:46:35] Speaker A: People think too much about the decisions they make.
[00:46:39] Speaker C: Murder Jawa.
Murder Jawa.
[00:46:42] Speaker A: I was going to try to follow that up with something, but I. And keep my composure.
Okay, so would you rather have in your head? This won't be easy. A silver brain sphere from Phantasm or a neuralink?
[00:46:58] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:47:00] Speaker A: They're both pretty bad.
[00:47:02] Speaker B: Yeah. I feel like at least the sphere's been put through some tests.
[00:47:09] Speaker C: How many monkeys has the silver brain sphere killed?
[00:47:12] Speaker A: I know, hard to say, but I. I'm gonna guess a lot.
[00:47:15] Speaker B: It's killed at least a couple priests. I know that.
[00:47:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, are we counting homo sapiens? Because.
[00:47:22] Speaker B: Yeah. I feel like. I feel like if I had the neuralink in my head, I would live long enough for someone to be able to take it out. I'm gonna go with the neural link.
[00:47:31] Speaker A: It's tough though.
[00:47:32] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. Not easy. Not. I don't want either of them in there. I just think the neuralink is doing less damage in the short term.
[00:47:39] Speaker A: I'm gonna go with the silver brain sphere because I want. I want the spooky powers. I want some spooky.
[00:47:44] Speaker B: Fair enough.
[00:47:45] Speaker A: Right before I die.
[00:47:46] Speaker C: Oh yeah. I'm going with this fear then, because I want some spooky powers. Just as long as I get them specifically.
[00:47:55] Speaker B: Well, I hate to nitpick. I hate to nitpick, but import. It's important when you're voting. I feel like maybe I'm a one issue voter, but it's the gold sphere that gives you psychic powers. The silver sphere just destroys your brain.
[00:48:10] Speaker C: Oh, no. We were lied to by the politician.
[00:48:14] Speaker B: We were lied to. Yeah.
[00:48:15] Speaker C: I voted for the Tall.
[00:48:17] Speaker B: You gotta read the fine print.
[00:48:18] Speaker C: The Tall man was supposed to be the President of peace. No more wars.
[00:48:23] Speaker A: He promised us all that we'd all get the good spheres. But then most of us got silver spheres.
[00:48:28] Speaker B: Classic bait and switch.
[00:48:30] Speaker C: I already made my vote. What else? I do.
[00:48:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:48:33] Speaker A: What About Gold Spear vs Neural Link?
[00:48:37] Speaker B: Gold sphere. That one's easier.
[00:48:39] Speaker A: Okay. I just wanted to make Sure.
[00:48:40] Speaker B: I mean, Mike gets a gold sphere in him in parts three and four, and that it turned.
How much of the end of the Phantasm franchise do you want spoiled in the next, like, five sentences?
[00:48:54] Speaker A: I mean, if they've listened to this much of the episode.
[00:48:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:48:57] Speaker A: I assume that they're either in or out, I guess.
[00:49:00] Speaker B: Come, come. Volume four, you know, it's revealed that Mike, our protagonist for the first three films, has one of these deadly golden spheres inside his brain. And also, Tall man has a golden sphere inside his brain, and that's why they have this psychic link, because they're both gold spheres. And then in five, we find out that there's actually, like, legions of tall men. And that's why at the end of every movie, they can kill a tall man. And then a tall man pops up and says, no, it's not. Right before the movie credits crawl.
So, you know, the gold spheres are, I guess, just the ruling case of this other dimension.
So. I'd love to be in charge.
[00:49:40] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, wouldn't it be fun to have some murder Jawas that just, like, helped you out with stuff?
[00:49:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I would make them do good things.
[00:49:48] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I'm using them to, you know, I mean, if you're in charge, like a responsible.
Like, like these are my emotional support murder jawas, kind of. If you're in charge, you get to.
[00:50:03] Speaker C: Decide what's responsible and what breaks the law. So don't even at me. I see through you now.
[00:50:09] Speaker A: I think you're being a little critical.
[00:50:11] Speaker B: Look, I'm gonna have my murder Jawas. They're gonna be working at. Down at the community garden planting tomatoes, okay?
[00:50:19] Speaker C: This is like trusting Decepticons. They have deception in the name. Your murder Jawas have murder in the name.
[00:50:25] Speaker B: They're going to be building an adult literacy center downtown. I'm telling you, you're going to love what I'm going to do with these.
[00:50:32] Speaker A: Here's the thing, though, what you've been misunderstanding. I. I've been saying murder Jawas just kind of shortening it, but they really. What I should have been saying this whole time is murdered jawas.
Yeah, that would be more accurate.
[00:50:44] Speaker B: Okay. They are all victims of the tolman.
[00:50:46] Speaker C: Yeah, No, I get it.
[00:50:49] Speaker A: I'm a jawa.
[00:50:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:50:50] Speaker C: There's not too many jobs available to dead people, so. The Tall Man's a job creator.
[00:50:55] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, let's face it, there's a skyrocketing unemployment amongst the deceased.
[00:51:00] Speaker C: You know what? This tall man, I don't agree with all his politics, but I appreciate all the jobs he's giving in creating.
[00:51:07] Speaker B: Yeah. At least he's honest.
[00:51:09] Speaker A: You know, at the end of the day, I just think that we should honor the tall Man's life and beliefs and continue the work that he started. Regardless of how we felt about him as a person.
[00:51:20] Speaker B: He was creating a wave of destruction behind him. The right way.
[00:51:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Not the. Not the wrong way.
[00:51:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:51:28] Speaker A: Not like that ordinary hype man. Mike.
[00:51:33] Speaker B: Yeah, Mike.
[00:51:36] Speaker A: All right, final vote.
[00:51:38] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:51:39] Speaker A: This is a tough one.
[00:51:40] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:51:41] Speaker A: Will not be easy. All right. Which two living current elected u. S. Politicians would you send on a road trip to stop the tall man?
[00:51:55] Speaker B: Current. Elected current. So they are currently holding office.
[00:51:59] Speaker A: Currently.
[00:52:00] Speaker C: We have to at least consider Chris Van Hollen. Like if he went to El Salvador to try to save one of his constituents, we have to at least consider him.
[00:52:10] Speaker A: That's fair. No, that's a good. That's a strong starting pick. He's got some gun.
[00:52:15] Speaker B: Okay. Okay, I'll throw out. Let's say you got Pritzker in the reg roll.
[00:52:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I like.
[00:52:24] Speaker B: I want to see Pritzker holding a four barreled shotgun. And let's see for the mic.
God, I feel like any thought leader under the age of 40 is like instantly banned to the shadow realm. I don't know any young people.
[00:52:42] Speaker A: Take Bernie Sanderson.
[00:52:44] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be Pritzker and Bernie. Yeah.
[00:52:48] Speaker C: I'm gonna take Chris and.
Well, I can't say Zoron Mandami. Aoc.
[00:52:54] Speaker B: Yeah, Zoron. He's got his own problems, Poor fella.
[00:52:59] Speaker A: I think a AOC Pritzker combo would be as a. As a split ticket between your two suggestions. Could be a pretty strong.
[00:53:08] Speaker B: Yeah. I would also like to see AOC wielding a flamethrower. So that works for me.
[00:53:12] Speaker A: AOC just give vibe. Gives vibes of like character who survives horror movie.
[00:53:17] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:53:18] Speaker B: All right. I'm glad that's the way that we initially went because my first answer was going to be Cash and Bongino. I want to see the two of them teaming up for you.
[00:53:27] Speaker C: You just want us all to die.
[00:53:29] Speaker B: I just want to see them get killed by the tall man. I'll be honest.
[00:53:33] Speaker A: Yeah. If you said those two, then we're all living in tall man's world now.
[00:53:37] Speaker B: We're bad news, Kennedy. We are all living in tall man's world now.
[00:53:44] Speaker C: Oh, no, Kennedy, you've grown two feet. You're a tall man now. I think this is how it works.
[00:53:49] Speaker A: Is this how it works? Is this how it works?
[00:53:52] Speaker B: I don't know anymore.
[00:53:56] Speaker C: Make America healthy again.
[00:53:59] Speaker A: This has been a delight. Thank you for voting with us. Thank you for suggesting the Phantasm film series. This is an unexpected little treasure.
[00:54:07] Speaker B: Thank you so much for having me. It was a blast.
[00:54:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
Once again, remind people just like, if they want to hear more of you, what do they do?
[00:54:17] Speaker B: Well, you can check out my podcast, your favorite bad movie podcast. We did an episode about Phantasm 2. If you want to hear more Phantasm stuff, We're going to be having Kennedy on soon to talk about evil Bong, so keep an eye out for that.
And yeah, it's. It's. I have a lot of fun, and I hope that you do, too. And if you want to find me online, you can find me on blue sky at Kristhefriend BSGuy Social. There's that, too.
[00:54:46] Speaker C: I just want to add one thing for voters at home.
If you did make it this far into the podcast, I was lying before. You are better than the people who quit midway. They'll never know I said this, but you are better. Thank you.
[00:54:58] Speaker A: Yeah, they'll never know. They'll never know.
[00:55:01] Speaker C: Get their asses.
[00:55:11] Speaker A: Thank you so much, listeners. The loyal listeners who stayed all the way to the end. Thank you for voting along with us, and we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.
[00:55:24] Speaker C: Bye.
