[00:00:01] Speaker A: Now, wait a minute. Now wait a minute, people.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: I think they want voting to be like ice cream bar.
[00:00:09] Speaker A: Wow, you lost.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: They want voting to be like a little. A little treat, okay?
[00:00:14] Speaker A: A little.
[00:00:15] Speaker B: A little gumdrop?
[00:00:16] Speaker C: Yeah, Every four years you get a little treat.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: You get a little treat every four years. That's what people. That's what people think. No, two years.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: No, it's every two years.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Voting is not.
But it's every year, actually, if you.
[00:00:31] Speaker A: Okay, I am a dumbass.
[00:00:33] Speaker B: You know? If you're gonna go there.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Okay, fine.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: You want to get correct with me?
[00:00:37] Speaker A: Okay, fine.
But it's a little tricky. Every year, right? It's a little treat, right?
[00:00:44] Speaker B: Every year, sometimes multiple times a year, if there's a special election.
And no, voting is not a little treat, okay? Voting is a fucking alfalfa salad, all right? You've got to assemble it yourself. It comes in, like, little separate packages. It's not all ready to go, okay? You've got to put it together, all right?
And people. People out there, they've gotten so lazy. They want a robot to assemble their salad. They want AI today.
[00:01:18] Speaker C: You don't even know what.
[00:01:19] Speaker A: Now, Falfa salad is an artificial intelligent salad.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: They want AI to tell them what alfalfa.
The people today, it. They think.
They think voting isn't worth the effort. But I'm here to tell you it's time to eat your vegetables.
[00:01:41] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:01:42] Speaker B: Time to eat your vegetables.
[00:01:44] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I'm scared.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: It's the most important election of our lives. And I need you to sit down and eat some vegetables. And I'm not being metaphorical anymore. This election, which will be, I do truly believe, the most important election of our lifetime.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: This is the most important election of our lifetime.
[00:02:08] Speaker B: This is the most important election. Don't you you hear that?
[00:02:12] Speaker C: This is the most important election in our lifetime.
[00:02:16] Speaker B: I certainly think it's the most important election of my lifetime. This is the most important election of our times.
[00:02:23] Speaker C: Politicians say every time, this is the most important election. This one's really that important.
[00:02:28] Speaker A: Is this the second Veggie Tails episode?
[00:02:30] Speaker B: It's not a metaphor anymore. You probably have not eaten enough vegetables this week. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: It's just Sunday. Of course I haven't eaten enough vegetables.
[00:02:40] Speaker B: Oh, you're one of those the week starts at Sunday, people.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:02:43] Speaker C: Oh, wow.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: That was a little anti Semitic of me, wasn't it? Sorry.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: Right here is the most important election of our lives. Yeah, curious.
[00:02:55] Speaker C: Why are the veggie tales. Anti Semitic.
[00:02:57] Speaker B: Why you listen to this show?
Yes. Oh, because the. The week starts on Saturday, obviously.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[00:03:05] Speaker B: That's how it's antic.
[00:03:09] Speaker C: Larry boy can't turn on his electricity unless someone comes over.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: Okay,
[00:03:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes. I. I didn't. I did.
I. The podcast Jew did not object because
[00:03:27] Speaker C: it was the podcast.
[00:03:30] Speaker B: Every podcast has to have one now.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: Yeah, like. Okay, like how I'm the DEI hire. The straight white guy.
[00:03:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:39] Speaker C: Listen, maybe we should get Julian Casablancas in here for his take,
[00:03:44] Speaker B: you know, I mean, Julian Casablancas definitely has a.
A front row seat to CIA history, so he knows a lot.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: So we have a podcast, don't we? We have topics.
[00:03:59] Speaker B: I have to say that. I mean, I would shouts out to the Strokes for what they did at Coachella recently, though that was base as.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: Based on what?
[00:04:07] Speaker C: Based on a true story.
[00:04:10] Speaker B: Based on several true stories that the government does not like to talk about.
Anyway, most important election of our lives. I'm serious. I want you to eat a vegetable while you listen to the show today. That's your act of voting. That's how you vote today.
[00:04:27] Speaker C: Yeah. Vote with your.
Vote with your wallet.
[00:04:30] Speaker B: I guess.
[00:04:30] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:04:31] Speaker A: Like, vote with your mouth. Vote with your mouth.
[00:04:35] Speaker C: There you go.
Bumper sticker to put that on a bumper sticker, print it.
[00:04:41] Speaker A: Put the ballot in your mouth. The ballot is your vegetable. Ballots are now legally vegetable. Okay.
[00:04:47] Speaker C: Put the ballot. Put the. Put the ballot in your pallet.
[00:04:51] Speaker A: You don't want to know how you. How they collect the ballot. You don't want to know. It takes a few days. You don't want to know.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: Yeah, we're taking a strong pro pica stance today on the podcast.
[00:05:04] Speaker C: Taking a strong alfalfa state.
[00:05:06] Speaker B: We're not gonna back down. We're taking a strong alfalfa stance. People be people eating enough salad. I.
You know, but on that subject, I mean, I will say, I. I guess, you know, maybe people don't be eating enough salads, but there are some foods that I feel we, as Americans, we could still agree on some. On some foods, right? Like, this is one of the only things we can still all agree upon in this country is that the Costco hot dog shouldn't go up in price.
[00:05:36] Speaker A: Oh, my God, if it goes up. And I don't even have a Costco in this town. All right? But I will fucking vote with my feet. I will go to the nearest Costco and I will. I don't. I don't. I will redact it. Redacted, redacted, redacted.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: And then I feel like there's probably like one Republican that listens to this show. Like, like hate listens or something. And like, I feel like even right now that our one Republican listener, she's like a trad wife or something. She's in the kitchen, she's nodding along. Right now she's going, costco hot dog shouldn't change price. You're correct.
[00:06:10] Speaker A: Right now she's currently panicking because she thinks you're talking to her directly.
[00:06:15] Speaker C: Well, I mean. I mean, we are.
[00:06:18] Speaker A: Yeah, that's fair. We like you. Thank you for watching us.
[00:06:21] Speaker C: Even though you're a 1950s that, like washing the dishes with big yellow gloves on. Like, you know, thank you for watching us.
[00:06:30] Speaker A: Thank you for watching us with your ears.
[00:06:32] Speaker B: Going through the trouble to performatively load her podcast onto a thumb drive and then plug it into the back of like an old timey Radio plays stuff off of this thumb drive.
[00:06:45] Speaker C: That's the Candy Smile Time Variety hour. Oh, my favorite show.
[00:06:49] Speaker B: Up next, Thumbtown. Anyway, by the way, who are we?
[00:06:53] Speaker A: Maybe, maybe we should just go through the formalities of introduction before we get completely.
[00:06:57] Speaker B: I'm Kennedy Cooper. I'm the host of this show.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: Okay, Know that already.
[00:07:03] Speaker B: Eat a second vegetable with me. As always.
We've got.
[00:07:09] Speaker C: I love that. I don't think very quickly eating vegetables has become the new like, s my d. Like like that kind of insult, like, eat a vegetable.
[00:07:18] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:07:18] Speaker B: It's not even an insult.
[00:07:20] Speaker A: It's just.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: It's a piece of practical advice you probably don't want to take.
We've got with me, as always, our in house statistician, Andrew Fields.
[00:07:30] Speaker A: All right, if you're not in line, get in the bread line to get vegetables. They have vegetables in the bread line. If you're not in a breadline to get a vegetable, get in the bread line.
[00:07:39] Speaker C: One who void from. I'm Donnie over here in the breadline.
[00:07:42] Speaker B: And we've got in the house, the turning champion friend of the show often crashes our show. Planning sessions.
[00:07:53] Speaker A: Yes. We had to put a note. We had to put a note when we were planning this show. No mighty Vin allowed.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: No, no, no. Vin in the booth. We've got Vin Forte.
[00:08:04] Speaker C: Oh, my God, this is exciting.
Literally, Ella. Ella was like last week, like, so do you have those ideas? And I was like, oh, shit. And like in like five minutes, I came up with a bunch of like the stupidest ideas possible. Like, yeah, I've been thinking about it all week.
[00:08:22] Speaker A: Here.
[00:08:22] Speaker C: Here's my ideas. And they were like, these are great. I'm like, oh, oh, okay.
Great.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: The absolute stupidest one from the list. And said, yes.
[00:08:32] Speaker C: Thank God.
[00:08:33] Speaker B: Said, this is it, baby.
Vin, you write some lovely blog pieces.
[00:08:44] Speaker C: Yeah, they're all still up on a substack if you want to go check those out. And stay tuned for future updates and stuff. Go sign up.substack.com.
[00:08:57] Speaker B: yeah, I recommend everybody check it out. There's a great. If you haven't read these yet, there's a whole wealth of stuff there waiting for you. Deep dives into quirky commercials and music videos and the histories of things that you never knew that you wanted to know about, but now you definitely will as soon as you see the article title.
[00:09:18] Speaker C: Yeah, go, go, go do that.
[00:09:20] Speaker B: Yeah, don't do.
[00:09:22] Speaker C: Don't do that right now, because we got. We got very important business to take care of.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: Also, you have to eat your vegetables first.
[00:09:29] Speaker C: Yeah, don't go. Don't go on the Internet until you eat a vegetable first. That's your thing for the day.
[00:09:35] Speaker A: The next time you go boating, there's gonna be a tomato there, and you just gotta mark who you want to win on that tomato.
Is that. It's tomato fruit. It's tomato vegetable. You vote.
[00:09:47] Speaker C: Yeah, go vote at your local top tomato.
[00:09:52] Speaker B: So today, coincidentally, or maybe not, we're here to talk about food.
[00:09:58] Speaker C: Oh, so am I.
[00:09:59] Speaker A: You know, I've eaten food once.
[00:10:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
Vin, when did you hear. First hear about food?
[00:10:07] Speaker C: Yeah, I heard that food. I heard that food could be exchanged for goods and services.
[00:10:12] Speaker B: Oh, I think that's true.
[00:10:15] Speaker C: I. I heard a food back when.
That's a good question. When. When were.
Do people know about food? Is this, like, are we just, like, some indie band? Like. Like, you were revealing for the first time, like, the whole country caught up on food.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: Okay, so here's what a lot is
[00:10:35] Speaker B: people do be eating. Is this like.
[00:10:37] Speaker C: Is this like that. Is this like that being geese? Like, is this the equivalent of geese?
[00:10:41] Speaker A: Okay, no, no, no. This is. Food is an indie game. It's an indie therapy game with your childhood and learning what it truly means to grow up.
[00:10:54] Speaker C: It's the shovel night of.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: Shovel night is not a therapy game. Shovel knight. Oh, I love shovel Knight.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: Well, shovel knight's a therapy game now. Vin said it.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: You know,
[00:11:10] Speaker C: it's. It's power wash simulator.
[00:11:12] Speaker A: There we go.
Yeah. You know what? Yeah, it's my therapy game. Shovel Knight is my therapy game alongside Celeste.
[00:11:20] Speaker C: Exactly. Celeste. Yeah. Go speedrun. Your vegetables.
[00:11:24] Speaker A: Go speedrun. Your vegetables.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: That's the moral of.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: Celeste, what are we even doing right now?
[00:11:30] Speaker B: We're talking about food.
Food is the thing that we all consume. It's the topic of today's show. Might seem a little broad. Don't worry.
[00:11:38] Speaker A: You know what? Just for saying that the next thing I'm going to consume isn't going to be food, it's going to be liquid.
[00:11:46] Speaker C: Oh, no. Well, wait a minute. Can liquid also be food?
[00:11:50] Speaker B: That's a. Hmm. I think so.
[00:11:53] Speaker A: I mean, this liquid.
[00:11:54] Speaker C: Like what, like what does soup fall on the. On the food spectrum?
[00:11:59] Speaker A: It's super. It's a super,
[00:12:03] Speaker B: super food.
[00:12:05] Speaker C: It's a super food. Yeah, exactly. It's a super lobster bisque is a nice superfood. Yes.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keeps you healthy.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: It's water based cooking.
[00:12:19] Speaker C: Water based cooking.
[00:12:22] Speaker B: That is.
That is a way to describe it. Yeah.
[00:12:26] Speaker A: That was a joke on Blue Sky. I stole from Blue sky. I'm sorry, Mrs. Blue Sky.
[00:12:38] Speaker C: Notice me. Blue Sky.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: Yeah. Did anybody, anybody have any good food this week?
[00:12:44] Speaker A: I mean, I had tacos early in the morning.
[00:12:53] Speaker C: Vodka chicken parm.
[00:12:54] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, I like that.
[00:12:56] Speaker B: That's good food. Yeah, I had some baklava last night.
That ranks pretty highly on the, like
[00:13:03] Speaker A: Aladdin, that genie song.
Wow.
[00:13:06] Speaker C: Was there a. I haven't. I haven't watched Aladdin in a fortnight. If. Is there. Is there a bat song in the.
[00:13:13] Speaker A: No, it's that song the genie sings to Aladdin. He mentions a little bit more Bak.
[00:13:22] Speaker C: Oh, that's.
[00:13:24] Speaker B: That's definitely. That's the first thing I think of when I think of baklava.
[00:13:30] Speaker C: For sure.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: I mean, it's the first thing I clearly think of because I'm. I. I don't know. Cancel me. Am I a Disney adult? I'm not, but this might be close enough.
[00:13:38] Speaker C: All right.
I only watched the Disney movies that came out on vhs.
[00:13:46] Speaker B: That doesn't help your case.
[00:13:50] Speaker C: I'm a Return of Jafar man myself.
[00:13:53] Speaker B: I'm not a Disney adult. I'm a Disney elder.
[00:13:59] Speaker C: I'm a Disney Millen. I don't know why I did Alex Jones there. I don't know where I was going.
Jafar's turning the freaking Frogs game. Like.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: No. What more can we talk about? Food and what is probably going to be our most unhinged episode yet.
[00:14:24] Speaker B: What are you talking about? This has been really sensible. We're just talking about delicious things that we've eaten. Listeners at home shout, a delicious thing you've eaten at your radio at your old timey. Radio.
We'll hear you.
[00:14:37] Speaker C: Oh, farmers markets trying to take over the. I'll stop.
[00:14:40] Speaker A: Did you hear what that Tradwife conservative said? That sounds delicious. Can you cook us?
[00:14:44] Speaker B: Yeah, actually, I could go for some corned beef and cabbage. You know what?
[00:14:49] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what the Tread White conservative fans said. You know why she's our biggest fan.
[00:14:57] Speaker C: There's Tradwise are really into hearty. Hearty, like Irish meals.
[00:15:02] Speaker B: I think it's something kind of traditional. I don't know.
I mean, but also, like, it takes, you know, I, I feel like most people don't take the time to corn a beef. Right. So that's like.
[00:15:13] Speaker C: So you wouldn't corn a beef, would you?
[00:15:15] Speaker B: I would, but most people wouldn't. But I teach.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: You actually do some of that stuff with meats, don't you?
[00:15:22] Speaker B: Yeah, I, I actually, I teach people to cook, so I, I have, I have opinions about food. You could say, oh, wow.
[00:15:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Kennedy's actually secretly a good person that helps children. Don't let anybody know.
[00:15:37] Speaker B: I don't know if that's true.
I think what is true.
Costco hot dog can't come up in price. That's for sure.
[00:15:47] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
You know, if the Costco hot dog goes up in price under Trump.
Oh, tariffs, like actually, you know what? If Costco hot dog goes up under Trump, that's what's going to finally cause him to be impeached and removed.
[00:16:05] Speaker B: No, no, we don't support accelerationism.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: The Costco hot dog, that has extreme, severe negative consequences.
[00:16:16] Speaker A: But we do support the idea that Florida is going to turn blue, right?
[00:16:20] Speaker B: No.
[00:16:21] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Well, I don't know.
I don't know.
[00:16:26] Speaker B: Remember, listeners at home, you have to promise me, you must promise me.
You can't believe in blue Florida.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: Kennedy has allowed me, given me permission to think maybe blue Texas, maybe.
But if I. But if I say Florida, Kennedy, Kennedy shouts no. Very loudly.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:50] Speaker C: My compromise.
[00:16:52] Speaker B: Blue Texas is a strong candidate.
[00:16:56] Speaker C: The only thing blue today are blueberries. That's the only blue we're getting today.
[00:17:00] Speaker B: I will let you have. I will let you cope and believe in blue Texas. As long as you promise you could never believe in blue Florida.
Don't you know you've got to also eat your vegetables?
[00:17:14] Speaker A: Kennedy, the guy running in the Florida Dempsey, is the whistleblower that led to Trump's first impeachment. Surely he has to win 100%, right?
[00:17:22] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Trump's first impeachment, famously a thing that stuck.
[00:17:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
Okay.
[00:17:29] Speaker C: Every.
Every week I did we got him. We got him, guys. It's like, okay, yeah, we got him.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: We got him this time.
[00:17:38] Speaker C: We got his tax returns. He's done.
Start the party. That bozo's out of here. It's like, okay, old Donny Trump.
Maybe when we finally. Maybe, maybe he's not out of there yet because we all didn't eat our vegetables.
[00:17:52] Speaker A: You know what? You're right. I'm eating.
I'm eating an onion right now.
Don't smell my breath. I'll brush up later.
Okay.
[00:18:08] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
There's not a lot of room in the voting booth. You know, it's actually kind of offensive.
[00:18:14] Speaker A: Okay, you know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm going to eat onion flavored potato chips, unhealthy vegetables.
[00:18:23] Speaker C: Just tomorrow, I'm going to eat some
[00:18:25] Speaker A: Funyun just to offend you more.
[00:18:28] Speaker B: Yo, I can third party.
[00:18:30] Speaker C: I'm voting Funyun this year.
[00:18:31] Speaker B: If you'll pass me the Funyuns, some of the Funyuns too, then we can, we can have a truce here. We can, we can come to a bipartisan agreement.
[00:18:38] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, very bipartisan. Because I barely have a sense of smell. Very bipartisan.
[00:18:45] Speaker B: Let's climb into the voting booth here.
[00:18:47] Speaker C: All right.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: And we're gonna ask some questions about food.
[00:18:52] Speaker A: All right, I got. So today on the ballot, instead of marking with a pen, you mark with.
With vegetable juice. So I've got my carrot juice right here that I'm going to mark on my ballot.
[00:19:03] Speaker C: Yeah, I've got my rutabaga.
[00:19:04] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, okay.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: Oh, good choices. I just got some classic V8.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: Oh, you know what?
[00:19:11] Speaker C: That worked.
You know what? I could have had a V8, but
[00:19:17] Speaker A: I almost came in with Red Bull, but I was informed that that's not a vegetable.
[00:19:23] Speaker B: RFK is working on changing that, but right now, liberals are still oppressing.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: The science behind Red Bull being a vegetable. So.
[00:19:34] Speaker A: Okay, that makes sense.
[00:19:36] Speaker B: Anyway, I want to ask a question that I'm pretty sure, pretty sure will be the first podcast to ever ask this, which is, what if Donald Trump ran for president against a sandwich?
[00:19:51] Speaker C: Yeah, it depends on the sandwich
[00:19:55] Speaker B: of sandwiches here. I'm gonna.
I'm gonna rapid fire hit you with some sandwiches, and I want to hear from both of you.
Does Donald Trump win or lose against a lobster roll?
[00:20:09] Speaker C: Oh.
Oh, God.
I think he loses. I think people are gonna. It's gonna be a vast swath of the country. They're like the coastal elite Lobster roll. Like, no.
[00:20:19] Speaker A: So wait, does Trump win against Lofts the coastal elite. Lobster roll or lose.
[00:20:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Ben, when you say he wins, you mean Trump or the sandwich?
[00:20:30] Speaker C: Oh, Trump.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: Okay, so Trump. Trump beats the lobster roll because a coastal elite.
[00:20:36] Speaker A: I think Trump loses against the lobster roll because it.
In a close election. I mean, you're definitely steamrolling Maine, right?
Yeah, I think out a win.
[00:20:49] Speaker C: See, I think they would go lobster roll like. Like they would push this even though it's not really a bad issue.
Like, they're gonna make a mountain out of a molehill about like. Well, is it a hot lobster roll or roll? Like lobster roll can't make up its mind.
[00:21:09] Speaker B: That's a tough sell for the American public. A lobster roll that can't decide if it's hot or cold. Katy Perry wrote a song about this.
[00:21:18] Speaker C: I kissed a lobster roll.
[00:21:21] Speaker B: What about if Trump ran against a grilled cheese? It's a classic. But also some would say that a lot of its appeal is just in the soup that you pair it with. So I don't know, where do we stand on that?
[00:21:34] Speaker C: Well, that. That's where the vice. That's where the vice president comes in.
[00:21:37] Speaker A: Grilled cheese with vice president.
Yeah, it definitely.
[00:21:43] Speaker C: That's a. That's like the.
That's like people voting for Biden. Oh, it's. I know, I know. I know them. I'm a little more comfortable. Yeah, yeah. Can I go something a little more substantial and grilled cheese? Probably. But you know what? It's what we need right now.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: Do you think. You think grilled cheese would beat Trump then?
[00:22:03] Speaker C: Yes.
On the condition that they.
That their vice presidential candidate is tomato soup?
[00:22:09] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:22:09] Speaker B: What if it. What if their vice presidential candidate is a different soup?
[00:22:13] Speaker C: Oh, then they've made a grave air.
[00:22:16] Speaker A: Only.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: Only tomato is the guaranteed squeaks you across the line choice here.
[00:22:20] Speaker A: Yeah. You don't want.
[00:22:21] Speaker C: You don't want, like, minestrones? No, like, it's gotta be.
Gotta be.
[00:22:27] Speaker A: I. This is random, but shout out to my wife that just came in the house and got me food to eat. I will.
Yeah, I will turn my mic off because I don't want to be disgusting, but I have chicken food thanks to my wife.
[00:22:41] Speaker B: Live. Live.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: Kidding. Thanks, wife.
[00:22:47] Speaker B: What about a cubano?
[00:22:49] Speaker C: Oh, okay. Oh, man.
[00:22:51] Speaker B: This one's complicated because it's a really good sandwich, but it might raise it up.
[00:22:58] Speaker A: I think. I think Trump wins.
[00:23:00] Speaker C: Yeah, I think Trump wins. I think Cubano is going to make a good case. Like, people who really are up on food are going to. Are going to definitely know, like, they're going to know what they're talking about, and they're going to vote Cubano. But I just don't think it's going to be enough people. They're not going to be able to get the information out to the people who need to hear it in time to get Cubano the votes.
[00:23:21] Speaker B: There's going to be people, like, the day after the election eating a cubano going, oh, fuck, this is really good.
[00:23:27] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, maybe. Maybe we should avoid Cubano.
I didn't realize it was. I didn't realize I. There was nothing to fear with Cubanos like that. There was. There was just pork and pickles and must. Oh, what have I done?
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Sandwich. What about. What about a classic peanut butter jelly?
[00:23:46] Speaker A: I think. I think it's a little too simple for people nowadays. Like, definitely 20 years.
[00:23:51] Speaker C: 20 years ago.
[00:23:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:53] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:23:54] Speaker A: But, like, I think. I think, like, peanut butter and jelly would be the establishment. That would be the pick. The establishment. It's. It's Joe Biden. Peanut butter and jelly is Joe Biden.
[00:24:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: Peanut butter jelly is like. Is like the grilled cheese, but there's no soup here to save it.
[00:24:09] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. You can't dip peanut butter and jelly. And I don't know, what would you dip peanut butter and jelly in?
[00:24:17] Speaker B: What could. What could you dip peanut butter and jelly in? That would be not a disgusting choice. This is a really interesting warm honey. Okay, so.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: Yeah, that worked.
[00:24:27] Speaker A: So it's actually funny thinking about this right now because yesterday I have a local place that's only open on Sundays and they sell cronuts, which are croissant donuts.
[00:24:38] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:24:39] Speaker A: And I had a delicious peanut butter and jelly cronut. So I think. I think the cronut could win because it's enough of a twist. But not the sandwich.
[00:24:46] Speaker B: Oh. You know, but now you're suggesting it. You know, you probably could dip a peanut butter jelly sandwich into, like, a cup of coffee or tea. They had milk in it.
[00:24:55] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:24:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:55] Speaker A: Except I only have my coffee black, so I still wouldn't vote. I mean, I mean, I would vote because. Vote blue no matter who.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: Okay, what about.
What about a controversial choice? The tuna melt.
[00:25:10] Speaker A: Oh, four more years of Trump illegal.
[00:25:13] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
Tuna mouths. Getting. Getting clobbered is like, even if you make the case that, like, well, like, tuna mouth is the Kamala in the city where it's like, even if you want to make the case that, like, well, we need a tuna melt right now. Yeah. It doesn't have all the flare flash or what, you know, the substance of maybe, like a chicken melt or something. But.
But it's what we need, right? We. We need it. It's better than the alternative. It's like, yeah, but it's.
It's a tuna. Like, too many people are just gonna be like, yeah, but it's a tuna melt.
[00:25:46] Speaker A: Thank you for giving me more food potatoes this time. My wife is giving this. She never does this. It's our food theme episode. She keeps giving me food.
According to my wife, that's from the snack fairy. Okay, so the snack fairy came.
[00:26:05] Speaker B: Okay, can the snack fairy hook me up? What's up with that?
[00:26:11] Speaker A: That's.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: That.
[00:26:12] Speaker A: That's a good question. That's. That's a good question.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: Okay, what about.
Here's. Here's a. Here's a. Here's an interesting one. What about the. The Dagwood or the Shaggy sandwich?
[00:26:27] Speaker A: You know what?
[00:26:27] Speaker C: That's like?
That's like a third party. That's, like, just trying to disrupt the normal flow of an election.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: I was thinking, like, Trump is the Dagworth Shaggy sandwich of politicians, right?
[00:26:42] Speaker C: Oh, maybe Dagwood.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: He's kind of the Shaggy sandwich of politicians.
[00:26:51] Speaker A: Kind of is. He's got a hold of me, and it's not practical.
[00:26:56] Speaker C: It may be an old image, but it's been making the rounds again where, like, there was some event and they were like, yeah, you could buy a Shaggy sandwich. And it's just like, exactly what you think it is. Like. Like a gigantic, like, Wonder Bread with deli meats on top of it, on top of it, on top of it in a big. Just in a big, like. Like, like clear sack. And people are like, this looks like a big waste of money. And they're like, what do you think the fucking Shaggy sandwich is? Like, what did. Was like, this is exactly what. It's. What a Shaggy sandwich is. Because people were like, oh, it's unwieldy. Like, you can't even get your mouth around it. It's like, no, that's.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: Yeah, that's.
I mean, minus the mouth part. Minus the mouth part. That's all Trump.
It's unwieldy. It looks impressive.
[00:27:44] Speaker C: It's like when people say they want to try Scooby Snacks and then they eat dog food, and they're like, well, this tastes like dog food. It's like, but you wanted to eat Scooby Snacks.
[00:27:51] Speaker A: Like, I can't believe Donald Trump is scooping.
[00:27:54] Speaker B: So the only. The only sandwiches that really did super well against Trump were the grilled cheese contingent on Vice President and The lobster roll, which was a little controversial, but which some of the panel here thought could win.
So let's actually. Let's just stay with. Stick with the grilled cheese here for the next question.
Who's in the cabinet of President Grilled Cheese? It could be people or other foods.
[00:28:25] Speaker C: That's because.
Does President Grilled Cheese have a cabinet that's full of other sandwiches that are complimentary or other cheeses,
[00:28:40] Speaker B: cheesy people?
[00:28:42] Speaker A: So one cabinet member who grilled cheese was considering for VP but declined has got to be spaghetti sauce, right?
Like grilled cheese was considering maybe spaghetti
[00:28:56] Speaker B: sauce, but decided for Department of Transportation or what?
[00:28:59] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like Department of Transportation. Not really. You'd be like, yeah, you know what? You supported me in the election even though I snubbed you. Department of Transportation. There we have. There has never been a problem with having a bad person in the Department of Transportation ever. In the history of America. Ever.
[00:29:16] Speaker C: No.
[00:29:17] Speaker A: Ever. No, but that's fine.
[00:29:19] Speaker C: No, no. When you elect.
When you install Linda Marinara, that's.
I don't even know what department Linda McMahon's in anymore.
[00:29:31] Speaker B: I'm gonna kill you for that one.
[00:29:35] Speaker A: Wait, no. Oh, for once, you're not threatening me. Okay,
[00:29:43] Speaker B: Any other. Any other top picks. We don't have to fill out the whole cabinet here, but any other top picks for president? Grilled cheeses.
[00:29:49] Speaker A: I mean, Secretary of State.
[00:29:51] Speaker C: Yes, Secretary of State.
Secretary of State. Munster cheese.
I don't know why I said it. Like, I'm trying to think. I'm, like. I'm, like, genuinely thinking about. Hard about this. What about Secretary of State?
Macaroni salad.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:30:13] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:30:15] Speaker C: Very safe, kind of bored, almost boring pick, but it's like, ah, Secretary of State. Like, nothing could ever happen in this country that'll bring the Secretary of State to the presidential. Yeah. Forefront.
[00:30:28] Speaker A: Good. Okay. I just thought of the perfect pick for the Department of Health and Human Services.
Hear me out, Hear me out. Hear me out.
[00:30:36] Speaker C: Hit me.
[00:30:37] Speaker A: Tony the Tiger.
Great.
[00:30:44] Speaker C: I was gonna say, I heard he's really good.
[00:30:47] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:48] Speaker B: What about.
I was thinking. I was thinking for Health and Human Services that probably you'd want. You'd want somebody who's gonna support the idea that the grilled cheese is a healthy, responsible choice. Right?
[00:31:02] Speaker A: Don't say RFK Jr.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: I was gonna say Paula Deen. Let's bring her back.
[00:31:08] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:31:08] Speaker A: You know what? That's a good.
[00:31:10] Speaker B: I'm canceling Paula Deen. That's what the grilled cheese is about to get up to.
[00:31:18] Speaker C: Like you're Unfreezing her from, like, her cryogenic cancel stasis.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: That's what. That's what happens when you get canceled. You get put on ice for a
[00:31:26] Speaker C: little while, and then, Paul, you're back in the game.
[00:31:32] Speaker A: You get put on what when you're canceled. Ice.
[00:31:36] Speaker B: Whoa.
I mean, actually, that is what that. That is what happens when you get canceled.
[00:31:41] Speaker C: Yeah, you go be kind of be kind of sick. Ice Arresting Paul D.
[00:31:46] Speaker A: We do not support ICE on this podcast.
[00:31:51] Speaker C: I'm talking about actual. I'm talking about actual ice. Like, if sentient Ice Cubes came to Paul Dean's house.
[00:32:00] Speaker A: If only the rapper Ice Cube was sent.
[00:32:02] Speaker B: I was just saying that if you get canceled, you go work for ice because you can't get another.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:32:08] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[00:32:09] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, that's what happens. Yeah, yeah. I'm agreeing with you while disagreeing with you. I don't know what I'm saying. Somebody stop me.
[00:32:19] Speaker B: I've got another food question.
Is the Turducken an inclusive coalition or an oppressive structure?
[00:32:27] Speaker C: The rainbow Turducken Coalition.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: The Rainbow Coalition, yes. I'm asking about.
[00:32:34] Speaker C: That's a good question. Because you would think at first blush.
Well, yeah, it's multiple meets, you know, to get. But I don't know, it's kind of like the turkey gets the.
The lion's share of the. Of the credit there. Because it's like, oh, we'll let you in. But like, we're. We're top billing. We're still. You're inside us. I hate saying that. That's.
[00:33:00] Speaker B: The turkey is a big tent.
[00:33:02] Speaker C: The turkey exactly like the turkey. Like, they're framing it as the turkey is a big tent, when really it's like the turkey is hiding the other two groups. Like, oh, yeah, yeah, no, we're letting you in. But, like, Turkey's gonna get all the credit here.
Like, they always do.
[00:33:21] Speaker A: Turkey, no matter what. You dorky.
Oh. Oh, God. I've just been canceled. Ice is here. Give me a second.
[00:33:32] Speaker C: Oh, I'm frozen. What's going on?
[00:33:35] Speaker A: Okay, I'm back.
[00:33:38] Speaker C: Yeah, I think two ducky and then, like.
And then John Madden's gonna be hanging around. You don't want that. Like,
[00:33:46] Speaker B: nobody wants that.
[00:33:48] Speaker C: No, especially because he's not alive anymore. So, like, that he would be a zombie and that would be weird.
[00:33:53] Speaker B: Yeah, like maybe a ghost.
[00:33:55] Speaker A: I made the mistake of telling my wife that we would talk about Turducken in this episode, and I had the worst possible punishment. I was forced to watch clips of Supernatural because evidently there is an episode focused on Turducken. Worst possible fate.
[00:34:10] Speaker B: Wow. Wow.
[00:34:12] Speaker C: Big slip. Wow. Big slam on Supernatural fans out of nowhere today.
[00:34:18] Speaker A: I like that show. From what I've seen, it seems decent. It seems good.
[00:34:24] Speaker C: Supernatural. If we can go on a Supernatural tangent, is that. Supernatural, I'm sure, is a fine show. And at different points, I've even been curious about watching it, because I do enjoy certain similar shows. But the second, someone tells me, oh, the first four seasons are really good. Oh, well, how many? Say there's like, 12 seasons. Oh, yeah.
Well, that's it for me.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: I can't believe.
[00:34:57] Speaker A: There's not enough episodes, like, as a one piece. Yeah.
[00:35:00] Speaker C: You've never seen season 28 of the Simpsons?
You've never seen When Lady Gaga comes to Springfield?
[00:35:09] Speaker A: No.
Isn't that considered to be, like, the worst Simpsons episode?
[00:35:15] Speaker C: It's. It's the worst example of, like, celebrity A comes to Springfield like that. It's very.
Yeah, it's. It's not good.
[00:35:24] Speaker A: We can.
[00:35:24] Speaker C: We can go on a whole thing about the Simpsons, but we're not here to talk about the Simpsons.
We're here to talk about food.
[00:35:32] Speaker B: Food.
Last time we had you on that, we were here to talk about the Simpsons.
[00:35:37] Speaker A: All right.
[00:35:38] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: Okay, I've got it. This one's actually controversial.
[00:35:44] Speaker C: I know. It hit me.
[00:35:45] Speaker B: These questions have been pretty silly. Kennedy, how could. Do you really have one that's controversial? I promise you, this one is. Do you believe that chili must disclose its bean content, or does chili deserve a right to privacy?
[00:36:00] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:36:02] Speaker A: I'll let the guest talk first.
[00:36:06] Speaker C: This also implies that we would. Okay, so realistically, what I'm foreseeing would happen is that you would. There would be a nationwide argument about what chili actually is, because you've always got the people that are like, chili absolutely should not have beans in it. And then you're gonna have people who are like, well, no, I. I put.
There's beans in my chili all the time. Like, what are you. I. This is all I've ever known. Like, I wanna. I want beans in my chili. Like, why should beans make something more or less a chili?
And it's gonna go up to the Supreme Court, and Vice President Tomato soup is gonna get his greasy paws all over it and try. And there's gonna be filibusters and big, you know, speeches made, and the Supreme Court's gonna get involved, and I don't see this coming out good in the short term for the. The bean. The bean to chilies.
But I think long term, the people in the, like, actual people on the ground in America will very quickly get on the ball and realize that just because there's beans in the chili doesn't make the chili any less of a chili.
And you're going to see the change come from the local, the state and local level, and it's going to, it's going to trend upwards. So you're going to have to go through, like, 10 years of people saying that, no, you can't submit this chili into the chili cook off because it's got beans in it. And there's going to be protests. Smelled it. But, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel because beamed chili will be considered a chili at, at a certain point in the not too distant future and will finally be able to compete in high school. I mean, be submitted to chili cook Offs nationwide.
[00:38:12] Speaker B: That's inspiring, Ben. I, I, I hope everybody at home is applauding.
[00:38:22] Speaker A: Go first. How can I follow up on that?
[00:38:27] Speaker B: How are you gonna follow that, you dumb.
[00:38:31] Speaker A: Okay, we're done. Okay, that's it. That's my answer.
Stupid. I should have got.
[00:38:40] Speaker B: Up next, I've got a list of foods that we're gonna determine if they're woke or problematic.
Oh, boy, it's about to get spicy up in here.
Pineapple on pizza. Woke or problematic?
[00:39:02] Speaker A: Woke. Woke. I'm not gonna make the same mistake. Okay. Okay, good. Okay.
[00:39:06] Speaker B: I don't even like pineapple on pizza, but I'm gonna agree that it's woke.
[00:39:09] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:39:10] Speaker B: It's obviously woke, right?
[00:39:11] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, it's woke. There's people in the country. Listen.
[00:39:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:15] Speaker C: I think the vast majority of people openly accept pineapple on pizza and have for a very long time. And there's just a certain part of the country that has not caught up yet.
[00:39:25] Speaker B: I mean, I accept it. I just don't think I should be forced to. My children should be forced to be exposed to it before.
[00:39:33] Speaker A: Hey, Kennedy, I'm visiting your house and I brought pineapple peach pizza for your children.
[00:39:38] Speaker B: Yeah, see, that's, that's not acceptable, that you have to, you have to learn to respect cultural boundaries. Oh, okay. It's normal to want to have live in a neighborhood where nobody eats pineapple on pizza. If you don't eat pineapple on pizza, it's normal to want that.
[00:39:56] Speaker A: Kennedy, Kennedy, I like pineapple on pizza. I love pineapple on pizza.
[00:40:01] Speaker B: Yeah. And you live like 1500 miles away
[00:40:04] Speaker C: from me, and you live in a
[00:40:06] Speaker B: pineapple in a pineapple under the sea. And Your name is Patrick Star Starman.
[00:40:13] Speaker A: He lives under the rock. You. You, you, you Waffle.
He lives under the rock.
[00:40:22] Speaker B: Not not know that you're referring to a trademark licensed property. And I'm making things up.
[00:40:34] Speaker A: I didn't know the mayor of Bikini Top, obviously. Completely different, completely unique property was J.B. pritzker. Okay,
[00:40:46] Speaker B: is. Is a blooming onion woke or problematic?
[00:40:50] Speaker C: Problematic. Very problematic.
[00:40:52] Speaker A: Like, very conservative coded. Like, I like blooming onions and. Oh my gosh, I'm getting canceled again.
[00:40:58] Speaker C: Well, well, here's the thing with the bloomin onion, everyone. It's one of those things where blooming onion can, can definitely sucker a lot of people in because you see the bloomin onion and you're like, well, I like the idea of the blooming onion. But then like when bloomin onion's finally in office and you can really dig into it, it's like, wait a minute, why am I grabbing at all these petals? And I'm just like, like, the fried stuff is coming. Like, I'm not getting any actual like onion here.
[00:41:23] Speaker A: Blooming onion was supposed to be the pro peace candidate, the anti war candidate. What's going on?
[00:41:28] Speaker C: Why don't me one cup of. Of of petal sauce of this. Like, I was, I was promised multiple dipping sauces.
[00:41:36] Speaker A: Why are blooming onion so expensive? Is it the tariff?
[00:41:41] Speaker C: Did I ever tell you my TGI Friday story not so this is reminding me when I was in a TGI Fridays once I ordered a chicken sandwich and I, I opened up the chicken sandwich because I saw something sticking out of it and there was like a full on stick. Like if you, like if you broke a stick off a tree, like a small stick and put it in the sandwich.
[00:42:05] Speaker A: Like wood.
[00:42:07] Speaker C: Yeah, like wood. And the way it comes up. And I'm like, I'm like, there's a stick in my. There's like a whole twig, like a big stick in my sandwich. And he's like, oh, what do you want us to do about it? Like, I would like a sandwich that doesn't have a stick in it. Like, oh, yeah, we can't do that. I was like, what do you what?
I was like, I was like, what do you mean you can't do that? They're like, yeah, we can, we can make you a new one. But like, we can't refund you. Or like, yeah, like, but I don't want this any. Like, if you're gonna put sticks in the food. Like, I don't know if, I don't know if I want this.
[00:42:43] Speaker A: If this was in a sitcom, it. We would all be rolling our eyes at how unrealistic it sounds.
Right?
[00:42:50] Speaker C: No, it happened and then, and then, like, and then as a make good, they were like, do you just want a blooming onion? I was like, yeah, depressingly eating this whole blooming onion. I was just like, this was a. This was a bad. This is a bad call all around.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: Like, you know what? Let's cancel blooming. You know what? I'm on your side, buddy. Let's cancel blooming onions right now.
[00:43:15] Speaker C: Yeah, blooming onion is like the Nick Adams of fried foods.
[00:43:22] Speaker B: Yeah, okay.
Yeah. Blooming onion.
[00:43:25] Speaker A: Sorry, I already a burger and there's a stick in it.
What is this?
There's a.
[00:43:32] Speaker C: We're not gonna.
Blooming onion.
[00:43:35] Speaker A: What the did you go through?
Let's continue, Kennedy.
[00:43:42] Speaker B: Okay, up next, Taco Bell tacos.
[00:43:46] Speaker C: Oh, that's a slight. That's like, woke. There's no, like, would win.
Like, you know, you know, the Taco Bell candidate would be. It would be like, only the staunchest, like, fundamentalist conservatives would not be swayed by Taco Bell. It's like when they, it's like when they try and pass those laws conservatives do, it's like, yeah, we're going to do this, this, this, and then we're going to get rid of pornography on the Internet. And everyone's like, whoa, hold on a sec. Wait a minute.
Like, that's Taco Bell. Everyone's gonna, like, only the staunchest, like, most fundamentalist conservatives are going to be like, yeah, we gotta, we gotta stop Taco Bell and like, whoa, stop Taco Bell. Like, yeah, but I want my contract.
[00:44:34] Speaker A: It turns out it's del. Taco lobbyists trying to stop Taco Bell.
[00:44:39] Speaker C: Exactly. It's. It's the Chipotle lobby.
It's. It's Mr. Mo.
Mr. Mo's.
[00:44:47] Speaker B: What about, what about the Costco hot dog? We agreed it was bipartisan.
[00:44:53] Speaker C: Oh, again, I think Costco hot dog is. Is slam dunk, people.
Or you know what? It could go. I, I could see the Costco hot dog either being a slam dunk or it's one of those candidates.
Not so much now, because I don't think this would fly now. But even as recently as, like 2008, when you had like, the Ron Paul, like, Libertarian candidate, and you'd always get like, a sizable amount of people being like, no, man, you should really look into. You should really look into Costco hot dog. Like, you got some good idea. I don't agree with everything.
The Costco hot DOG stands for, but, you know, you can't beat their. Their economic plan. Like.
[00:45:33] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I don't. Like they don't fully go be on. On supply and demand.
I don't know. I think maybe two.
[00:45:44] Speaker C: They're full of nitrates, but, you know, a dollar fifty, you can't beat it.
[00:45:48] Speaker A: Full of nitrates.
It's. Yeah.
[00:45:52] Speaker B: Wait, does that. Is it. Is it woke or problematic? I'm still confused.
[00:45:56] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:45:58] Speaker A: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
[00:46:01] Speaker C: It's. It's a little. It's. It's. It's. It's a little from column A little from column B. Yeah.
[00:46:05] Speaker A: Yes, yes.
[00:46:07] Speaker B: Okay, fair enough.
What about French fries?
Woke or problematic?
[00:46:15] Speaker C: Ooh, well, okay, well, we talking just plain straight cut French fries?
[00:46:21] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:46:22] Speaker C: Well, you better know.
[00:46:24] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:46:25] Speaker B: I mean, what, what, what difference?
[00:46:27] Speaker C: I don't know why I'm giving you a mandate.
[00:46:29] Speaker B: Our shoestring fries. More woke.
[00:46:32] Speaker C: Well, well, because here's the thing. So if you have. We're talking just straight cut, like your average, like McDonald's style fry.
Problematic. If we're talking like Cajun fries, waffle fries, seasoned fries, like very woke.
[00:46:51] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:46:52] Speaker B: Waffle fries.
[00:46:52] Speaker A: Mike, I just have to say, you know how earlier I was like, my wife got me for food?
Yeah. It's McDonald's chicken and French fries. Oh, my gosh.
[00:47:01] Speaker C: I'm getting canceled.
You're getting cancelled.
[00:47:06] Speaker B: Cancelled.
[00:47:08] Speaker A: All right, Kennedy, I'm going to say this because I know what we're talking about. So woke or problematic? When you gave us ideas for an episode, one of them was a Pokemon themed episode. So I'm about to hit you with a Pokemon themed food.
[00:47:23] Speaker C: I'm so glad nobody.
So glad you decided not to get that. That choice he's talking about is. They're talking about is literally, I just wrote down Pokemon the election 2000.
[00:47:36] Speaker A: Okay. Our Pokemon poffins.
Woke or problematic? They're the little things you have to make together to raise, like your Pokemon's beauty stat and whatnot so they can perform in contact in contest. Woke or problematic?
[00:47:51] Speaker C: I think that's problematic.
[00:47:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:54] Speaker A: I mean, there's the cute stat too. Okay. Yeah, that's very problematic. Yeah.
[00:47:58] Speaker B: So something else that causes a lot of debate. Barbecue.
[00:48:03] Speaker C: Does it.
[00:48:04] Speaker A: There are a couple of things into the chat.
[00:48:07] Speaker B: There are a couple of states that claim to be at the. At the top of the barbecue game, that their styles of bar, their regional styles of barbecue are the styles of barbecue that are the best.
[00:48:22] Speaker C: I hope you say what I think you're going to say. Go ahead.
[00:48:25] Speaker B: Those. Those states are Texas, South Carolina.
[00:48:29] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:48:31] Speaker B: Missouri and Tennessee. These are the four states that are constantly vying for the crown of barbecue.
[00:48:40] Speaker A: I just. I just want to say our notes don't say Missouri. They say St. Louis. And if Kennedy actually fell into that trap, I would be like, St. Louis isn't a. Isn't a state. It's
[00:48:53] Speaker B: fucking bait.
[00:48:54] Speaker A: I was going to say because I think. No, Honestly, I think St. Louis should be the US state capitol, not D.C. perfect location. There was a time where it was a hub and it could have stayed there, but St. Louis is my state capital. Sorry. To our D.C. viewers who.
Who watch our podcast with their ears,
[00:49:14] Speaker B: this is a surprisingly hot take. I've never heard you mention before.
Yeah, you really seem convicted about it. St. Louis should be the capital. Is that there was a.
[00:49:26] Speaker A: There was an effort a while, a long time ago to change it from D.C. because, like, oh, God. I'm going off topic, but, like, DC Made sense when our states were around that area. But when we kind of explained, expanded all the way to California, there was an effort. Like, we had a lot of activity in St. Louis, Missouri. Why don't we move it there? And that went nowhere. But like I. I say as things move on, because a lot of things, especially on the Democratic side of politics and the way they do things east, not whatever that area is called with Maine, and I forget Virginia, there's a name for it. But that side, they do have a different way of politics.
[00:50:04] Speaker B: I got Clamland.
[00:50:06] Speaker A: Clamland. Yes, Clam Land.
New England. New England. So New England politics are a little different in the way DC Dems handle does actually make it more. A little bit more sense. They're completely nonsensical to the rest of the United States. It should be the state capital. The place they meet should be in a more central location. And that was St. Louis. Oh, my God. Why am I so passionate about this?
[00:50:29] Speaker B: I agree. I agree. The capital is too close to Clamland.
[00:50:41] Speaker A: Let's go back on topic. I don't know why I'm so passionate about this.
[00:50:44] Speaker B: It's because I think we could agree on a few things on this show. Okay. We should have nightmares.
[00:50:50] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:50:50] Speaker B: We should move the capital to St. Louis.
[00:50:52] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:50:53] Speaker B: And the northeast of the United States is referred to as Clamland.
[00:50:57] Speaker A: And don't forget, get in a line. If you're not in a line, get in the line.
[00:51:02] Speaker B: And if you are in a line, eat your vegetables.
[00:51:06] Speaker C: So this is not where I thought any of this is going. So I thought you were going to bring up the very ill fated idea that has been. I think this has died down a lot to be fair. But a couple, like, definitely, like about 10 years ago, there was this idea that someone was floating around, someone got a weird hair up their ass and decided to say that Brooklyn was suddenly becoming like a destination for barbecue.
[00:51:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I do remember this at every picture.
[00:51:39] Speaker C: Yeah. And like, even.
Yeah, first off, the barbecue looked terrible. It was like three dry strips of brisket with like a little ramekin of like pickled coleslaw or something. Like, it looked terrible and rightfully so. Like, every New Yorker stood up in unison and was like, no, no. Like, this is like, we have enough stuff that we're good at. Like, we don't need to try and snatch the barbecue ground from the South. Like, this is not our lane.
[00:52:09] Speaker A: This is.
[00:52:09] Speaker B: There's just no fucking way. I don't care. Like, you know, I think in general, like, you know, I mean, everywhere you go, there's always a chance you're going to find some particular bit of really great food. But in Texas, you can just hit any random barbecue shack you want, and it's better than the average barbecue place in Brooklyn. I'm sorry.
[00:52:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:52:34] Speaker B: And I don't love Texas. I'd rather hang out in Brooklyn if it's just, it's just a matter of where do I want to be.
Like, who. Who do I want to see? What kinds of people do I want to hang out? I'd rather hang out in Brooklyn. But. But I, you know, I'm gonna sidle up next to those cowboys that are gonna give me the funny look for my painted nails that briske. Texas, I don't give a.
[00:52:55] Speaker A: So, like, for me personally, after I was very passionate about St. Louis, I feel like I trust Missouri's barbecue more in the democratic system, especially with St. Louis. Like, I don't.
[00:53:08] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:53:08] Speaker B: Yeah, well, you. You're jumping ahead of the question because I didn't fully get to ask it, but.
[00:53:13] Speaker A: Oh, sorry, I forgot what the question
[00:53:17] Speaker B: I want to ask. Not which of these styles of barbecue is the best to eat, but which of these styles of barbecue would be best to lead you in a democratic system. This is a perfectly normal question.
[00:53:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sorry, Kennedy. I'm.
[00:53:33] Speaker B: So again, we.
Texas style barbecue, known for heavy use of beef, lots of smoke, lots of black pepper, very meat forward style, usually like lighter on the sauce.
We've got South Carolina barbecue, where you've got the vinegar, pepper sauce, the Mustard sauces. You've got the tangy flavors, lots of pork.
You've got the St. Louis style barbecue, which is known for ribs, in particular, saucy ribs with a lot of tomato and molasses and other great flavors. Yeah, you've got Tennessee style barbecue, known for, again, lots of pork, a little bit chicken, also pulled pork.
[00:54:26] Speaker C: We got to keep pork out of politics. So two of those are gone immediately.
[00:54:30] Speaker B: Well, that would mean everyone's gone but Texas, because this, we got three. Three pork. Three porkers. And then Texas is the one that's, like, beef dominant
[00:54:42] Speaker A: on his barbecue.
[00:54:44] Speaker C: Yeah, I think maybe Texas wins on technicality. But, like, I think that most Americans accept a little bit of pork in their politics. So I would say St. Louis. I think the benefits of St. Louis, I mean, I've made far outweigh the amount of pork.
[00:54:59] Speaker A: Like, I can't say I want pork completely out. I've made my opinion on my Illinois governor perfectly clear. Like, he's a class trader. You know what? Who.
[00:55:09] Speaker B: He.
[00:55:10] Speaker A: He might be a billionaire. Okay, fine. Whatever. St. Louis. Maybe a little bit of. Whatever.
Maybe a little bit of corruption as a treat.
[00:55:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:55:22] Speaker B: So y'. All. Y' all want to be. Y' all want to be governed by St. Louis ribs? Sweet, sticky, saucy ribs running your life in politics?
[00:55:32] Speaker A: I like messy people food. I have to be. I have to be an adult, and I have to use my utensils, but I like messy food. Okay, you know what? I'm a slob. I am a slob. Okay.
Yeah. I want the ribs. I want the messy ribs. I want to feel my food. Okay, I'm getting.
[00:55:50] Speaker B: You want to feel your politics? Is that.
[00:55:52] Speaker A: I want to feel my politics, yes.
[00:55:54] Speaker B: All right, fine.
Let's do next. All right, so St. Louis barbecue wins not. Not as necessarily being the best barbecue, but being as the best barbecue to be governed by.
Moving on to our next category here, I want to ask what about what if some governors, some sitting governors, had to run for reelection against their state food?
So I'm gonna. I'm gonna go down a list. I've got a long list here. We won't necessarily go through all of them, but we're just gonna rapid fire some of these for as long as it's entertaining. Here we're going to start with from Florida, the contest of Ron DeSantis versus Key Lime Pie for the governorship of Florida. Who wins?
[00:56:43] Speaker C: You know what they'd for? They. They'd fuck it up and still vote DeSantis like, it's.
Yeah.
[00:56:50] Speaker A: I vote key lime pie because I think Florida can vote blue, actually, because I am a fool.
[00:56:56] Speaker B: Hey, we didn't say key lime pie would be blue. It might be. It might be that key lime pie and Ron DeSantis are.
[00:57:02] Speaker A: Okay, well, I'm definitely voting Ron DeSantis
[00:57:04] Speaker B: are in the Republican primary.
[00:57:08] Speaker A: Ron DeSantis is going to win then, but key lime pie is going to lose to the Democrat. Right.
[00:57:13] Speaker B: By the way, I'm just. I'm just clipping both of you saying I'm voting Ron DeSantis.
[00:57:17] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:17] Speaker C: You know what?
[00:57:23] Speaker A: Santis. To be governor of California. Okay.
[00:57:27] Speaker B: California.
[00:57:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Of California.
Florida.
[00:57:33] Speaker B: I never said Florida, coincidentally. Let's move on. Let's move on to California. Next, Gavin Newsom versus avocado toast.
[00:57:43] Speaker A: Newsom wins again.
[00:57:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:57:46] Speaker B: I don't know. I think. I actually think avocado toast might smoke him.
[00:57:50] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. You know what I think? I think there's, like, a Mom Donnie effect going on where they're gonna look at Gavin.
[00:57:56] Speaker A: Oh, okay, okay, okay. I see that. I could see that.
[00:57:59] Speaker C: And you'd be like, nah, we're really aligned of avocado toast on this.
[00:58:03] Speaker B: Like, you know, avocado coat toast is gonna do that little trick where it sprinkles sesame seeds on top at the
[00:58:09] Speaker C: rallies, just like Mom Donnie did.
[00:58:14] Speaker B: Mom Donnie.
[00:58:15] Speaker A: Hey.
[00:58:15] Speaker B: Famously a guy that does love to cook.
[00:58:18] Speaker C: Yeah. Plus the cook up socialism.
[00:58:20] Speaker B: It's the food episode.
[00:58:22] Speaker A: So, Jesse, it's time to cook.
[00:58:27] Speaker B: Bringing it to my state. Oh, my. Current governor, Michelle Lujan Grisham. She's a Democrat. She's about to leave office. Versus green chili. Star State food.
[00:58:39] Speaker A: I mean, I've liked what your state has been doing.
I don't feel like I trust an outsider. I feel like the status quo.
[00:58:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:58:47] Speaker A: Like, I don't.
[00:58:50] Speaker C: I don't know enough about green chili's platform.
[00:58:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't. I don't really think about green chili. I don't know about your governor. You're in a good direction. I say the incumbent advantage wins.
[00:59:00] Speaker B: I.
I like how both of you are thinking, but speaking of someone who lives here, green chile would never lose an election. It's not possible.
[00:59:08] Speaker A: Okay, well. Well, I hope green chili is. Is a communist.
[00:59:15] Speaker B: I don't know. Green chili could be problematic. We're not going to discuss that, though.
[00:59:22] Speaker A: As a New Mexico, would you vote for the good governor of the problematic green chili?
[00:59:27] Speaker B: In an election, I'd vote for green chili.
[00:59:31] Speaker C: Good governor of the problematic reach.
[00:59:34] Speaker A: Nice argument, but I've already depicted myself as the good governor Governor and you as the problematic green chili.
[00:59:42] Speaker C: It's like those memes where it's like you, you want to be the Chad green chili or the, like
[00:59:48] Speaker B: the virgin governor.
[00:59:50] Speaker C: Yeah, the virgin governor of the Chad Green chili.
[00:59:59] Speaker B: New Mexico listeners, we've got to make that decision this fall.
Vin. Let's, let's. I'm gonna turn. I'm turning the guns onto you now.
[01:00:11] Speaker C: Okay?
[01:00:13] Speaker B: Do you know what New York's state food is, Governor?
[01:00:18] Speaker C: State food. I, I actually can't. I would assume it's apples.
[01:00:22] Speaker A: You're.
[01:00:23] Speaker B: You're gonna hate this answer for some reason. It's yogurt.
[01:00:26] Speaker C: What?
[01:00:27] Speaker B: Okay, and what if, what if Kathy Hochel was running against you?
[01:00:33] Speaker C: These are both terrible choices. Like, I mean, I guess, I mean, I guess I'm gonna go yogurt because of the probiotics.
[01:00:45] Speaker A: Like the whole show doesn't have probiotics. But.
[01:00:51] Speaker B: Okay, okay, a third. I'm gonna give a third option here. What if Bagel is running as a write in?
[01:00:58] Speaker C: I think Bagel's gonna. Bagel would be a big one. Bagel would pull it off.
[01:01:02] Speaker A: Yeah, Bagel.
[01:01:03] Speaker C: It would be Bagel with like vice.
What was it? Not vice, governor, Lieutenant. Yeah, I don't know why I could say Bagel with Lieutenant Governor General Ock, the Akiway guy.
[01:01:22] Speaker B: How about now I'm gonna turn the guns on my co host here. How about J.B. pritzker versus deep display?
[01:01:37] Speaker A: Like, okay, look, I would. I'm not a fan of deep dish pizza. I like J.B. pritzker. But if I'm honest, Illinois hates our politicians. All like JB Pritzker, they hate less, much less than most politicians. But we hate our politicians and we love our food. They. I, I would pick the woke billionaire, but my state would pick deep dish pizza.
[01:02:00] Speaker B: What do you think? You think, you think Illinois is going for the deep dish pizza?
[01:02:05] Speaker C: No, because I, as everyone I talk to from Chicago tells me the same thing I love. My friends in Chicago are like, it's tavern style. Like, that's the real Chicago pizza. Like deep dishes for tourists.
[01:02:20] Speaker B: That's true.
[01:02:21] Speaker A: I mean, I don't live in Chicago, so I would be considered a tourist if I went there. So, so don't listen to me. I'm a fake Illinoisan.
[01:02:28] Speaker B: Yeah, you are Illinois. I agree.
[01:02:33] Speaker A: Kennedy, you can New Mexico go to the polls.
[01:02:41] Speaker B: What about a Greg Abbott versus Texas chili?
[01:02:45] Speaker C: Unfortunately, I think they're gonna, I think it's gonna be Greg Abbott.
Either way, I would watch chili. I would vote for Chili.
[01:02:52] Speaker B: But yeah, I I just want to. Because I don't think. I don't think you're gonna say you're not gonna suddenly get some progressive run under Texas Chili, to be clear.
[01:03:02] Speaker C: No. But.
[01:03:03] Speaker B: But Greg Abbott probably still wins.
[01:03:06] Speaker A: And Greg Abbott still runs ads about communists chili.
[01:03:11] Speaker C: Yeah, Greg. Greg Abbott elementary.
[01:03:16] Speaker B: Wow, we're really. We got some riffs going on over here.
What about.
What about Tim Walls Rest in Peace versus Hot Dish?
[01:03:34] Speaker A: This is the thing.
I mean, I was there at the planning session for this episode, and I'm still caught off guard here.
Oh, it's called Hot Dish.
I mean, I know what it is. I've just never heard, like, it's Tater Tots.
[01:03:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:03:53] Speaker C: It's a hearty.
[01:03:55] Speaker A: Yeah. I would call it a Tater Tot casserole. But if it's called Hot Dish, then, yeah, that is a pretty hot dish.
[01:04:01] Speaker C: I mean, you know what? I'd go Hot Dish because it's like Tim Walls, you know, thank you for your service, but we. We just need something a little. A little bit. Bit hot and fresh now.
Something a little hearty, something a little meaty.
[01:04:20] Speaker B: Something that can play Madden.
[01:04:22] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. Something that. That could.
I. I need a dish that's gonna beat the breaks out of tim walls in 2k.
[01:04:30] Speaker B: I still can't. I.
It's pretty mind blowing that AOC skunked Tim Walls and Madden, right? Like, that's still.
That's like a moment of all time.
[01:04:41] Speaker A: AOC is a gamer. Like.
[01:04:44] Speaker B: Yeah, but Tim Walls is a former football coach who claims to love Madden and he.
[01:04:50] Speaker A: And he owned.
[01:04:50] Speaker C: And he loves the. The Sega Dreamcast.
[01:04:53] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:04:54] Speaker B: Which is also pretty gamer coded, to be fair.
[01:04:57] Speaker A: Yeah, he loves Crazy Taxi.
[01:05:00] Speaker B: Like, he does love Crazy Taxi.
[01:05:03] Speaker A: We needed a vice president who loves Crazy Taxi. Not. I. I don't care what CHUD game is JD fans likes.
[01:05:11] Speaker C: Oh, you know, if you ask them what games, you'd be like, well, I like the. You know, the Call of Duty games are good. Medal of Honor. It's like, it's like, okay, my dream
[01:05:21] Speaker A: vice president loves Paper Mario and the Mario RPGs. All right, that's my dream vice president.
[01:05:27] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. I want the. The person who's gonna do, like, deep, like, Sega Saturn pulls. Like, like, if Tim Walls came out and was like, oh, I'm a big soccer awards guy. Like, like, I. I want that. That person.
[01:05:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:41] Speaker C: Nights into Dreams was a big classic in my household. Like, oh, my God. Yes.
[01:05:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
Hi, Kennedy.
[01:05:50] Speaker B: You got mail.
Okay.
[01:05:55] Speaker C: Someone modded Tim Walls into Crazy Taxi. Okay,
[01:06:05] Speaker B: What about what about Josh Shapiro versus the Philly Cheesesteak?
[01:06:11] Speaker A: Okay, I lived in the suburbs of. Oh, I don't know, because Josh Shapiro is popular in PA and it's just the way it is. But the Philly cheesesteak is popular there.
[01:06:22] Speaker C: It's popular. But my only rebuttal to that is it's losing ground. I've never seen. I've said it once, and I. This is not the kind of opinion that, like, I would do a whole manifesto of on social media because I would get Molly walked by everyone immediately. But is it me? And tell me if I'm right. It feels like in the past five or so years, I've never seen a state have like, a known food. Like, like they're known for cheesesteaks. And then in the past, in recent history are like, slowly kind of losing that title.
I don't think anyone's going to, like, snatch it from them. But I do think you're hearing a lot of rumblings of people, like, going to Philly and being like, yeah, these I've had much better cheese steaks.
[01:07:14] Speaker A: Wait a second. Did you say that over the past five years?
[01:07:20] Speaker C: Maybe, maybe longer.
[01:07:21] Speaker A: Because, like, you know what? That time frame matches up with.
COVID ruined everything.
[01:07:27] Speaker B: COVID ruined the cheesesteak. Do we think the Altoona Pizza could. Could. Could win any election?
[01:07:35] Speaker C: No, no, that's like the Jill Stein of pizza.
[01:07:45] Speaker A: A county Dog catcher, maybe?
[01:07:48] Speaker C: No, not even that. Yeah, it's like, okay, Altoona Pizza.
[01:07:52] Speaker B: Like, actually, no, I.
[01:07:55] Speaker C: You filled out all your forms and you're on the ballot, I guess, but, like, you're not on all the ballots and you're just. No. No one.
[01:08:03] Speaker B: No, no, hold on. I actually think County Dog Catcher is a great take for the Altamira Pizza because it is.
It's regionally. Regionally specific.
Only makes sense to people in one. One town and a thing. Right?
[01:08:20] Speaker A: Sure, that's fair.
[01:08:21] Speaker C: But like, I'm still not even. Like, are we 100% certain that Altoona Pizza a real thing, or was it something someone made up and then it just became a real thing because people bought into it?
[01:08:33] Speaker B: Okay. I mean, to be fair, in 2026, I don't know what's. When I might be AI.
[01:08:38] Speaker C: And it's like, it's like a small enough niche that people just accept like.
Like, like I can totally believe someone. That someone invent that's some like that. That like 12 years ago there was like some Buzzfeed article that like, slipped in Altoona Pizza as a joke. And then some entrepreneurial spirit up in Altoona was like, well, I'll be the person that makes the Altoona pizza. And now, like, they're just. There's like one place in Altoona. It's like, yeah, we're the home of Altuna Pizza. Like, yeah, we've been doing it since the 70s.
[01:09:11] Speaker A: So, like, okay, down here in Springfield, Illinois, I'm a tourist to you Chicago folks. But if you are familiar with Springfield, we have a local specialty called the Horseshoe sandwich. Most of the restaurants serve it. It's an open face type of sandwich.
[01:09:28] Speaker C: Just a big horseshoe crab in the middle.
[01:09:31] Speaker A: And we have our own specialty in the Altoona.
Delicious. Absolutely delicious. Yum yum. I would totally eat it. Just seems like a local weird specialty that got well known.
[01:09:44] Speaker B: Okay, see, I have to say I'm looking into this. It might be onto something. And also, this is making me think we should make up a regional food. Nobody, not enough people listen to this podcast for it to matter. I'm discussing a conspiracy.
We should invent a regional food and pretend that it's real and try to get people to buy into it.
But.
But maybe we can figure it out before the end of this podcast. Our new regional food.
But okay, so. So Altoona pizza. I'm looking into this supposedly was invented at the Altoona hotel in the 1950s, but the Altoona Hotel burned down in 2013.
So I feel like any place that burned down, you could just say anything you want happened there before it burned down. Right.
And nobody can really prove you right or wrong. After it burns down, it's all over.
So.
So we got to start. So is there something in one of your.
Actually, we can't. Vin, we can't. Do you. We can't. We can't. We can't. We can't make up a new regional food for New York. Everyone will know we're lying. So we have to make it up for. It's either going to be Illinois or New Mexico.
[01:10:55] Speaker A: I mean, infamously, Chicago had the Chicago fire, so anything fucking goes there.
[01:11:04] Speaker B: Okay, yeah. So we can make up a new. A new regional food from Chicago, and nobody can prove us right or wrong because
[01:11:13] Speaker A: it burnt down in the famous Chicago fire.
[01:11:17] Speaker B: All. Every single building in Chicago burned down. All of it. Don't fact check me.
[01:11:23] Speaker A: So, no, in fact, you're wrong because 200% of the buildings in Chicago, you are saying 100%. All of them. No, more than all. All of them burnt down.
[01:11:34] Speaker B: Wow.
They were rebuilding during the fire, and then it was burning things down as they were building yeah, maybe they should
[01:11:41] Speaker A: have taken care of the fire first.
[01:11:43] Speaker B: It was a different time, so.
[01:11:45] Speaker C: And then in honor of the Chicago fire, they. They introduced to. So they would never forget, they introduced the Chicago Hot Nuts, which are just peanuts drenched in a jar of Tabasco sauce.
[01:12:01] Speaker B: Ah, we love a spiced penis. I mean peanuts. What'd I say?
[01:12:06] Speaker C: Maybe the real goddamn. Well, what you said.
[01:12:10] Speaker A: Maybe the real peanuts were inside us the whole time.
I'm sorry. If you have a peanut allergy, seek medical help. The peanuts are inside you.
[01:12:25] Speaker C: Okay, so the peanuts are coming from inside this.
[01:12:29] Speaker B: I'm just. Now, now I'm really being conspiratorial about this. Is Altoona pizza real?
[01:12:35] Speaker C: It can't be real.
It can't. It can't be.
[01:12:42] Speaker A: Listen, I'm. I'm looking at the ingredients to this. All. All tuna style tuna in it.
[01:12:54] Speaker C: It's just Altoona, Pennsylvania. It's a square slice with a big bell pepper ring and then a slice of yellow cheese on top.
[01:13:06] Speaker A: I. I'm looking here, and I told myself, this better be on the other side of PA than the one I lived in. And it is. It is closer to the western side when I lived in. In the very east in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Okay, good.
That place was far away from me. I lived in the Philly suburbs.
[01:13:25] Speaker C: Also, it's got salami on it too.
[01:13:28] Speaker A: Oh, God. You know what? You know what? Chuck Schumer was right.
Chuck Schumer is right. They absolutely deserve to lose voters on the Altoona side of Pennsylvania. To gain voters on the other side of Pennsylvania. I'm sorry.
Was right. You deserve to lose. No, we don't want.
[01:13:47] Speaker C: Isn't Altuna. Isn't Altuna Pa also where they found Luigi Mangione?
[01:13:52] Speaker A: Well, now I'm so conflicted. Yeah. No, no, not yeah. No.
[01:13:55] Speaker C: You know, did Altoona give up Luigi Altoona?
[01:13:59] Speaker B: We need answers, Altuna.
[01:14:02] Speaker C: You got a lot to answer for the mayor.
[01:14:04] Speaker A: Yeah, it was an Altoona. Oh, my God.
It wasn't. Okay. What the is wrong with you? Altoona?
[01:14:11] Speaker B: What the is going on in Altoona?
[01:14:13] Speaker A: Look, as a former resident of Shelfont, Pennsylvania, which nobody knows what that is small place.
[01:14:19] Speaker B: That's not a real place.
[01:14:21] Speaker A: It's a real place. I. I escaped it. I left it.
What the is are you doing Altoona, Pennsylvania? I. I. As a former resident in the Philly or suburbs, what the are you doing Altoona?
It would be kind of funny if.
If you are actually from Altoona. I'm not blaming you, voter at home. If you are in or From Altoona.
[01:14:44] Speaker C: Not you.
But no, they got. They gotta answer first.
[01:14:48] Speaker A: No, you're one of the good ones. You're one of the good ones. I mean, everybody else.
[01:14:54] Speaker C: Wow.
[01:14:56] Speaker B: I think there's, like, five people living Altuna, so I don't think it really matters what you.
[01:14:59] Speaker A: And they all listen to this podcast.
[01:15:05] Speaker C: Yeah.
Just fine. Yeah. I think more people live in Centralia, Pennsylvania, than Altoona, Pennsylvania, at this point, by the way.
[01:15:13] Speaker A: Just so nobody misconstrues my point. Chuck Schumer was very dumb. No, that's. You don't win Bucks county by moderation. They kind of don't like the moderation. So Chuck Schumer is bad. I want to make my stance clear. I'm joking. But I have to clarify this joke so I don't get super canceled.
[01:15:30] Speaker B: What? Chuck Schumer is bad. Anyway. Okay, here we go.
It's time.
We've reached the end of the ballot here, which means there's only one thing left to vote for, which is the highest office of all.
[01:15:46] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:15:50] Speaker B: The office of president.
And we're going to take some of the foods that we've discussed today, and we're gonna decide which one of these would win. These are some foods that represent the states that they're from.
So the candidate from New Jersey is, of course, a pork roll sandwich from South Carolina. We have boiled penis. I mean, boiled peanuts.
[01:16:21] Speaker C: No, you're right the first time.
[01:16:23] Speaker B: Oh, sorry. Yeah.
What did I say?
[01:16:26] Speaker A: Carolina. I'm never going down to something from.
[01:16:30] Speaker B: From Utah. We've got jello.
[01:16:32] Speaker A: That's a lie. I have a really good friend in
[01:16:34] Speaker B: South Carolina of Utah. Is jello recognized by state resolution only though the candidate from Minneapolis. The Juicy Lucy.
[01:16:47] Speaker C: Oh, everyone's favorite.
I love a good Juicy Lucy.
[01:16:51] Speaker A: You're being really Juicy Lucy with these questions.
[01:16:55] Speaker B: It's a. It's a. It's a cheese stuffed cheeseburger.
[01:16:58] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:16:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:16:59] Speaker A: Okay, so wait, you're telling me. Okay. Okay. My mind's blue. So this cheeseburger. Okay, so this cheeseburger has cheese in it.
[01:17:08] Speaker B: It's. But it's the. You stuff the cheese you like, form a burger patty around a couple slices of cheese, and then you cook that.
[01:17:15] Speaker A: I'm voting the Juicy Lucy. I'm voting the Juicy Lucy.
[01:17:19] Speaker B: We haven't heard all the candidates. That's from Minneapolis.
From the man from Ohio. Skyline Chili.
[01:17:29] Speaker A: Skyline Chili. The man
[01:17:34] Speaker C: Pu. Get out of here.
[01:17:37] Speaker A: That's going to be the establishment.
Pick the establishment. You hate everything from Ohio. You deserve to. Because you had. Because if Ohio exists You lived there.
[01:17:48] Speaker B: But in California, we've got avocado toast.
And from Philadelphia.
Or, well, from Pennsylvania, rather the Philippines.
[01:17:59] Speaker A: Juicy Lucy. Juicy Lucy.
[01:18:02] Speaker B: Juicy Lucy for president. Make your case.
[01:18:04] Speaker A: You got. Okay, so explaining politics to an American.
Explaining the presidency to American. Imagine a burger. I don't think I need anything more than that but a burger stuffed with cheese. Like, can you name anything more American than that?
Like, that is the American's choice.
[01:18:27] Speaker B: Then what do you say?
[01:18:29] Speaker C: I'm going burger.
[01:18:32] Speaker A: Writing politics to an American. Imagine a booger.
[01:18:36] Speaker C: Imagine a world where you're a burger.
[01:18:39] Speaker B: Imagine stuffed with cheese on a plate. I'm gonna eat it.
[01:18:44] Speaker A: It's mine. I bought it.
Hey, hey, I paid for that. Juicy Lucy. I paid extra for extra chips.
[01:18:54] Speaker B: Well, guess what, hair.
[01:18:58] Speaker A: Oh, oh, okay, so this is what, you're just communist now? Communism is win no burger.
[01:19:07] Speaker B: Communism is win no burger.
That's it. We're done. That's the episode. We're done voting.
[01:19:20] Speaker A: I voted with my. With my carrot juice.
[01:19:23] Speaker B: Vin, if somebody wanted to, like, follow you on social media.
[01:19:33] Speaker C: Yeah. Do that over on. I'm usually in two places. I'm in blue sky, vinforte.whatever. their
[email protected] or whatever. And you know, the blue sky handle. And. And on Instagram at Vin Forte nyc, where I post the most excellent.
[01:19:58] Speaker A: I would say, in fact, you're so good at posting that it is your forte.
You know what?
Yeah,
[01:20:14] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:20:15] Speaker B: Why would you.
[01:20:17] Speaker A: Our editor has to manually add in those. Those will not appear in the recording. So restrain yourself.
[01:20:23] Speaker C: Okay, well then. Well, then for one, forget I played sound effects.
[01:20:27] Speaker B: People who can't hear that sound effects to the episode. Thanks. Okay.
[01:20:35] Speaker C: Can I get a.
[01:20:37] Speaker A: What? What?
[01:20:39] Speaker B: No. And also get in a line.
[01:20:41] Speaker C: Get.
[01:20:42] Speaker A: Get in a.
[01:20:43] Speaker C: Get in the food line. Yeah, get in the food line.
